rajcs25 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I knew my girlfriend for 6 months. Before few days she constantly forced me to get married and i was not ready yet, so i refused saying " I need more time to think and i posted questions in this forum and people provided me valuable advice and told me "I am genuine in asking time". She told me first that she will have No Contact if we go that route as she has to move on in life. I tried to convinced her very hard to maintain contact with me unless she finds some other guy. Finally she agreed on a deal to speak with me. Before just few days, she was regretting very much her decision to force me etc. etc. and also told me that she can wait a month or two for me, but it has to be a very firm commitment. I told her i cant give you timeline, as than i am under pressure due to clock ticking. I gave her assurance that i wont let her wait for months and years so dont worry but please provide me space to think. She did not and she finally told me that she feels insecure and thereby want to move on and will stay as friends. Thereafter 1st day she contacted me but from last 3 days she is not contacting me, all 24*7 contact has been stopped all of a sudden from her side? I called her last 3 days and she speaks professionally for few minutes and that's it I read several threads in this forum, but i am now very confused. 1) Has she really made up her mind to live with NO Contact? 2) If she loved me so much and i am still being very nice to her, why is she wanting to maintain professional relationship(i mean just talk for few minutes that too only when i call) and why has she broken it all of a sudden. Isnt she missing me? I am too confused? What should be my strategy or is there anything i could do to change this situation to make her realize that its in her advantage to keep in contact with me?
FreeToBe Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Sorry you are hurting... First, for her to give you an ultimatum of marriage within 6 months is crazy. She has no place to be pushing for this so hard. This is a clear and definite RED FLAG! If she really loves you, why does she have to get married so soon? What will getting married do? It sounds to me that she is very insecure and is using marriage as a way to prove you will always be there for her. This is not right at all man... If you had been dating for a couple of years and she brought this up, it wouldn't be nearly as odd; it very well may be understandable, but within 6 months?! Nope - something is wrong with her and you are better off without a person like this in your life. My advice to you is to walk away from this relationship for good. Do not contact her and refuse her contacts (as I presume she will start contact you aggressively after you stop contacting her for some time). I know it is not easy, but you really need to rethink if someone like this is truly the person for you... With some time and distance, I think you will clearly see that she is not. Good luck.
Wilie Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Come-on, you know this is not correct behavior. Open eyes, and leave this situation in the trashcan. You KNOW when it is the correct time for marriage. Will
Author rajcs25 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Thanks folks for your responses. What should i do now? Dont contact her? What would be my strategy to not get hurt myself and move on? If she contacts me, what should i tell?
bluebirdsfly Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I think there is something really wrong about this girl. Have you guys sincerely talked about why she's in a hurry? Why is she insecure exactly? What is her family background?
Author rajcs25 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 That's because she is very immature even at age of 31. She becomes overconfident at times and she lives in a dream world at times. For her from what i saw, marriage is just a Goal... She sometimes talks great stuff about how she will take care of me and family and she sometimes gets into her own career and aspirations. She sometimes is serious about stuff and after some time the whole perception changes. She herself is very much undecided. I myself have been through such stage once, not such an extreme, but wanted to get married desperately. The problem is she does not take things seriously. Just last weekend she was telling me she cant live without me and she will improve in such a way that i will go to her in few months and ask for her hand. Right now she only talks for few minutes that too when i call and in a hurry to put up the phone. I have no idea what kind of brain she is carrying Only thing i know is i am going crazy and trying to concentrate on my work I think there is something really wrong about this girl. Have you guys sincerely talked about why she's in a hurry? Why is she insecure exactly? What is her family background?
Karma20 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 6 months and she wants marriage? Right there should be major red flags. My advice is RUN!
Recommended Posts