Vodka Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I wasnt sure which section to put this in, so hopefully this is ok.. For the guys, what is most important to you in a relationship? Is it trust? good sex? someone you can be totally yourself around? If you could tell a woman entering into a relationship one word of advice, what would it be? How can your girlfriend best keep you happy?
poorguy Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 First it's attraction, then sex. That's what sparks the initial relationship. After being together for some time, say months down the road it changes. What is most important to me is TRUST!!! Of course every guy wants to be himself and he also wants the girl to be herself (good and bad parts, nobody is perfect)...But overall trust and I hope woman feel the same way
carhill Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 For the guys, what is most important to you in a relationship? Confidence in the team. Is it trust? good sex? someone you can be totally yourself around? Healthy intimacy from which all other aspects flow. If you could tell a woman entering into a relationship one word of advice, what would it be? Compassion. How can your girlfriend best keep you happy? By valuing and sharing her happiness and her desire for me to be a part of that happiness. Having been married, having had girlfriends, having seen a lot of tits and ass, having had sex, that's what it boils down to for me. We'll all imperfect. Celebrate the imperfections, love each other and get on with living.
Author Vodka Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Is it important to you for your girlfriend/wive to be attentive to your needs? Do you need to feel needed and wanted most of the time? Does she need to show affection quite often? Im not talking sex per se, but are random hugs, kisses or touches important to you?
poorguy Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Of course all of that is important too. Not nonstop though. I think most normal guys like a balance of it all, which includes alone time and quiet time. I personally don't like a girl catering to my every need that I have or she may think I have..Matter of fact I hate that. I can do a lot for myself and I want her to be able to do the same thing
carhill Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Your username reminds me of a female friend who exemplifies this dynamic, as she is native to that part of the world (Russia/Ukraine). When we'd drive somewhere and park, like going shopping, she'd get out of the car and walk around to my side or meet up with me and we'd walk together. My exW used to just take off and head into the store, with me catching up. I don't think she did this purposely, but it was a sign (perception by me) of the lack of intimacy, lack of focus on the team, in her mind. For me, it's the little things; things which don't cost money or even take time. And yes, I mentioned it to her. Didn't compute. Puzzled look. One example.
ivalm Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) Your username reminds me of a female friend who exemplifies this dynamic, as she is native to that part of the world (Russia/Ukraine). When we'd drive somewhere and park, like going shopping, she'd get out of the car and walk around to my side or meet up with me and we'd walk together. My exW used to just take off and head into the store, with me catching up. I don't think she did this purposely, but it was a sign (perception by me) of the lack of intimacy, lack of focus on the team, in her mind. For me, it's the little things; things which don't cost money or even take time. And yes, I mentioned it to her. Didn't compute. Puzzled look. One example. Perfect example. From a woman I want a partner in everything. I want her to be my closest confidant, someone I can tell everything, but I also want a healthy sexual relationship. I am most happy to do the "little things" for her and I expect her to do them for me. I want to bask in her affection (actions more than words), and I want to fill her with my own. Perhaps I'm a hopeless romantic, but hey, there are girls out there who, too, are romantics I also agree that it's very hard to find girls native to the US who are like that. There is this I think feminism driven idea that "I must be independent, I must prove myself strong, etc" and perhaps this is even correct, but unfortunately it leads women to think that "going to the other side of the car and waiting for boyfriend" is somehow a sign of weakness, rather than love. Edited January 20, 2011 by ivalm
OldSkool Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Trust, Respect, Affection, Nurture Probably in that order. I consider attraction and compatibility a prerequisite for any relationship.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 A woman need gather herself and establish one consistent identity with understandable constants as to what flies with her. A relationship can't work if she does not know herself and throws the guy a bunch of curves he can't figure out or ever win her trust with. Everything else people have said is important too--but mostly those are no brainers. We all want loyalty, sexual willingness, trust, patience and so forth. But if underneath everything is a fragmented personality merely trying to tread water with a new "best face" every day, eventually the truth will out and the guy will realize he can't know who it is that he loves because she does not even know who she is. I wouldn't know this if I hadn't faced it. It's a realization that your relationship was always hopeless and never had a real chance. That feels like a self-betrayal when you discover it--a double whammy that can land a guy on the skids.
collegeguy_24 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I say trust, because in my relationships i've been lied to enough that all I want is someone I can trust to be honest with me. Sex is good and all, but its not everything. But thats just my personal opinion.
I am healed Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 A woman need gather herself and establish one consistent identity with understandable constants as to what flies with her. A relationship can't work if she does not know herself and throws the guy a bunch of curves he can't figure out or ever win her trust with. Everything else people have said is important too--but mostly those are no brainers. We all want loyalty, sexual willingness, trust, patience and so forth. But if underneath everything is a fragmented personality merely trying to tread water with a new "best face" every day, eventually the truth will out and the guy will realize he can't know who it is that he loves because she does not even know who she is. I wouldn't know this if I hadn't faced it. It's a realization that your relationship was always hopeless and never had a real chance. That feels like a self-betrayal when you discover it--a double whammy that can land a guy on the skids. eureka! yes
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 If you could tell a woman entering into a relationship one word of advice, what would it be? Stop fussing over yourself so much. (whether it be when getting ready to go out, getting ready for bed, or contemplating your own self-perceived shortcomings) We want a woman to be comfortable, and if she is already "entering into a relationship"... then she is on the way toward a place in life where she can be content and comfortable, if only she will allow that for herself.
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