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Great relationship, less sex, why?


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Posted
Maybe he never got over one of the 'small, silly' fights you had. Guys are like this sometimes. Either he'll get over it, if that is the reason, or the truth will eventually come out. But trust me, he knows you want it and isn't giving it. This could either be to outside stress as he says (understandable) or to get back at you (unhealthy and emotionally abusive). My ex was all about 'work stress' and 'sore back' and 'sore head' until finally he came clean and said it was due to anger at me. It was like being punched in the face as he was so pleasant to me otherwise but maliciously punishing me in this way, over what I thought was a 'resolved' minor fight. Hopefully this isn't the case with you, but thought I would put that out there. Withholding sex is no joke and can really damage a relationship.

 

He does complain about sore back lately ...

 

it sounds so similar to my case. Just that he's not the quiet type he would not put up with my (occasional) non-sense.

Posted (edited)

My ex was a classic passive aggressive and he just got worse and worse. I feel for you if your new beau is the same.

 

Read and check if there are other signs...

 

PA men and control:

http://www.yourtango.com/201063805/passive-aggressive-man-hes-all-about-control

 

PA men witholding sex:

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/pa_sex.htm

 

The best advice I can give you right now is to just leave him be... Don't keep pushing for sex and let him snap out of his funk. If he is just in a funk and really cares for you, he'll snap out of it for fear of losing you. If he's doing this to be malicious, asking for sex, crowding him and questioning will feed his ego and he will get more and more obvious in his rejection of you (my relationship ended when my ex became verbally abusive and I called it a day). I could be very wrong here, but no harm in arming yourself with knowledge just in case. For these sorts of men it's all about power and control. Don't play that game. You're a foxy mama, he should be ripping your clothes off! Let him come to you when he figures out what he wants.

Edited by Fee
Posted

This often happens in relationships where you don't have great sexual chemistry. The cure is to either spice up your love life with effort and creativity, or find someone else with whom you do have great sexual chemistry, then it requires no effort and you will be doing it 3 times a day.

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