timchambo Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 She broke up with me about a month ago with very little contact for about the first week, then NC. She was already "talking" to another guy when she broke it off. She said we shouldn't talk for months. About a week ago I get a call in the middle of the night which I didn't answer. Followed by a couple texts which I never responded to. They were along the lines of "I miss you, want to make sure your ok". A couple days later I got another call which I didn't answer. I know shes still "talking" to this other guy. My take: Shes trying to clear her conscience. Relieve herself of guilt. Whats your take?
Karma20 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 My ex had a new gf after two weeks and reached out to me shortly after that. I didn't respond. Now two months after the breakup this previous weekend he reached out again (still has the gf). He said he missed me wanted to see me, I got excited and told him I missed him too. Well wouldn't you know, he turned around and said I only miss you as a friend. He did it out of guilt to ease his mind. I wasn't contacting him and he wanted to know why. Since he realizes I don't hate him, I haven't heard a word from him and he is probably happy as can be that he got rid of the guilt. Don't respond, it will only hurt you more
Gettingtired Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Dont respond!! I seem to be reading a good few threads about dumpers getting in touch shortly after the break-up with "I miss you" or "How are you doing". They dont really care, they just want to fulfill their own curiosity and see if they can hook you in. I've read the words "emotional tampon", dont be that for them. IGNORE them or tell them straight "I dont want to/cant speak to you/see you right now/ever again" (so just F off and worry about your won ****e!)
abby1128 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 everytime I receive a text msg from my ex, i feel so happy.. then a minute later, i'll feel hurt.xD so I decided to change my # . he's texting me that he miss me eventhough i know its not true.. he's giving me a motive to wait for nothing.
Author timchambo Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 I have no intention of responding. This was a 7 year relationship so I am sure there is an element of wondering where "my best friend" is. It ended so horribly, out of the blue for another man. So much for my "best friend". Enjoy getting used by your acquaintances bitch.
poorguy Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 i have no intention of responding. This was a 7 year relationship so i am sure there is an element of wondering where "my best friend" is. It ended so horribly, out of the blue for another man. So much for my "best friend". Enjoy getting used by your acquaintances bitch. exactly!!!!
Am4Real Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I have no intention of responding. This was a 7 year relationship so I am sure there is an element of wondering where "my best friend" is. It ended so horribly, out of the blue for another man. So much for my "best friend". Enjoy getting used by your acquaintances bitch. Fortunate or unfortuante things change in people lives. Your EX changed and now you are doing the same. Sometimes after the pain change can be for the good. I hope it will be that way for you. Congrats on sticking to your beleifs and not responding to what is obvious a curiousity check more than anything else. Best wishes, Am4Real
Author timchambo Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 If/when there is contact (its a matter of time I think) I feel I need to tell her basically "you lost your best friend when you lied and cheated. I do not see a need to talk to you any further. I'll contact you if I feel a need". The check ins and such are not going to do me any good.
poorguy Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 The checkins don't have anything to do with you and how you feel, they have to do with her and how she feels. It's a very selfish thing to do. She just wants to feel good about herself... Do yourself a favor and stick to NC and let her go have the time of her life with the new guy. Guess what though???? That will end too. If you start a relationship wrong it will end wrong
marqueemoon4 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 why do people play such ridiculous games? makes me feel like I can never trust anyone again.
Author timchambo Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 by the way I don't think people change that much, they more or less grow. Especially as a couple living together. You grow together. She had this in her from the beginning, I was just blind to it I suppose.
Am4Real Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 She had this in her from the beginning, I was just blind to it I suppose. I think you’re over analyzing the situation. We have no idea what is going on in her head – but she has changed – she has checked out from you – that is change in itself. We don’t know why but maybe you do, although it doesn’t really matter at this point, does it? Stick to your NO CONTACT. You sound like a guy that knows what is right and even if deep down you wish she would come crawling back to you in the aftermath of one of these phone calls, your head is telling you not to trust her and she is not the same anymore. Trust those thoughts if they are indeed your thinking…it will take time but eventually she will be of little concern to you. It always seems to work out that way for those that stay focused and let go. All the best, Am4Real
suddendumpee Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 If you start a relationship wrong it will end wrong I keep telling myself this about my recent ex...then I remember my first love. I was a college Freshman, she was a HS senior. She started cheating on me by f**king her student teacher. The have now been happily married for 10 years and have 3 kids. She became a successful CPA for a large firm and pulls in ~$200K/year. Soooo. yea. haha. We can only HOPE that karma exists.
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