ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) so, I'm in the mix with lil miss homebody; the proverbial (Latina) girl next door, & I'm under the impression I have to play this differently. first of all, she's an actual match: intelligent (a total nerdball actually), has no clue she's as cute as she is, and has a rack that won't quit (ballparking it - 36C's, & I'm a boob guy). so I like her. a lot. we've gone out on about 3 dates, she's a slower girl so I've matched her speed; but here's the rub... I strive to be Mr. Effing Spontaneous (which usually works well; very well), but again, this is miss homebody. I take her out and she's totally picky w: her food during lunch/dinner & doesn't like big crowds, etc. it's interesting. it would seem she's the perfect candidate for a date at home (where I could control all these external factors), but again, she's super intuitive and a slower player when it comes to the bedroom. all this said, here's the question: how does a man ask a girl over for a legitimate (I'm not necessarily trying to get into your pants, but totally would if you were down) date, without making it seem as though I'm trying to hook up -- because i'm not; yet. seriously, spending an intimate evening with her, without touching 3rd base or further, is actually what's called for here & I wouldn't be grasping for anything more. I'm curious how this is commercially done. if this thread comes up sparse, it's my plan to just invite her over for dinner & a movie, since she knows I enjoy cooking. "a movie" @the pad is fu*king taboo for a girl that doesn't want to get naked though... see the issue? thoughts?? Edited January 20, 2011 by ConflictedGuy27
USCGAviator Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I do this all the time...even on first dates. During dinner I ask If they would rather go to my place to watch a movie or do something else. They always opt for the movie at my place. I'm not pushy but I do tell them exactly what I'm thinking and the key is to make them feel comfortable with you no matter where you want to take them. Good luck!
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 It could go either way. Go ahead and give it a try since inviting her over will be fun. Anything you do or say to make it seem like this isn’t a sex thing will only do the opposite. good stuff, I'll be sure not down play any intentions. I agree with you that they'd likely back fire. thanks.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 I do this all the time...even on first dates. During dinner I ask If they would rather go to my place to watch a movie or do something else. They always opt for the movie at my place. I'm not pushy but I do tell them exactly what I'm thinking and the key is to make them feel comfortable with you no matter where you want to take them. Good luck! we have comfort pretty much taken care of, which is why was entertaining the idea of asking her over. I'm going for it. ...and even if she's not 100% clear on my intent, she'll still likely say yes, since she's expressed curiosity about what my place is like. thanks guys; think I got all I needed.
zengirl Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I had some early dates at my BF's house, and I didn't think he was trying to get into my pants. Generally speaking, after a few dates, offering to cook someone dinner seems perfectly gentlemanly. As long as your intentions are in that vein, I don't think she'll pick up on any mixed signals.
Jannah Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 What is the order of bases these days? 1st - Kissing/Making Out 2nd - Touching/Feeling Various Body Parts 3rd - All the above, including Oral Activities Home - Sexual Intercourse ..........?..........
carhill Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I don't know how it's 'commercially' done, but IME, for early 'in home dates', I've always cooked for ladies on a Sunday for early dinner and, since Monday is a work day, there's no assumed overnight stays. 'I'd love to cook for you on Sunday. How about five-ish?' If I already knew the lady liked to cook, I might playfully suggest she arrive a bit early to 'help a poor bachelor out in the kitchen'. Drink wine, cook, eat, it's all good.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 thanks for the feedback. the timing for inviting her over feels right, so I'll definitely be doing that. truth be told, I don't even mind what we do. simply spending time in a private, comfortable spot is what we're both after. now here's another question: "to stock, or not to stock (my fridge)??" I've heard (somewhere, probably LS) that an empty fridge is a turn off for women; & I'm rockin' a text book bachelor's fridge at the moment. -,-" yes, I enjoy cooking; but I only really do it for other people. not to mention I live in an area where I'm walking distance from excellent take out in every direction. its not a big deal, as I need to fill it anyway -- since I'll be cooking -- but I thought I'd throw out the question. I want her to be really comfortable & like coming/staying over.
zengirl Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I mean, if your fridge is literally beer and mustard or something, maybe buy the things you'd like to have anyway -- milk, cereal, soup, apples, whatever. I never thought to investigate a man's fridge to judge him. Having a variety of things to drink is always good, when inviting company over in general. As long as everything is tidy, and your kitchen seems livable for you, I wouldn't worry. Of course have the stuff you need to cook with!
carhill Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 IMO, wrt 'stocking', do what you normally do. IME, when I give dinner parties, I shop, adding in the menu of the party (in your case party for two). I'm at the store anyway so it makes sense to restock everyday items. Don't forget some simple hors d oeuvres. It's always nice to nibble while dinner is being prepared. Cooking is a great way to share oneself. Good luck
Jazzari Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Wow - this girl sounds like my twin. I had a similar situation and I much preferred staying at his house to going out. We agreed beforehand that sex was not going to happen. So there was no question during the date and no stress. We could both relax and just enjoy. As for the fridge, I'm also a picky eater and could care less what someone has in their fridge. My date asked me about some of my fav foods and stocked up on those which was really thoughtful. That earned him major points.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I don't see the progleng, mang. If you've gone out with her 3 times already, sooner or later it's going to be time to let the guard down and hang together. I would start getting wary after a few dates that I'm being milked if a girl doesn't want to start trusting me in unchaperoned quarters.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 I mean, if your fridge is literally beer and mustard or something, maybe buy the things you'd like to have anyway -- milk, cereal, soup, apples, whatever. I never thought to investigate a man's fridge to judge him. Having a variety of things to drink is always good, when inviting company over in general. As long as everything is tidy, and your kitchen seems livable for you, I wouldn't worry. Of course have the stuff you need to cook with! beer, mustard AND taco sauce packets... thank you very much. yah, no worries then if she won't be rummaging around like it's a crime scene investigation in there. I've been told I have a really nice kitchen & I keep the pad shined up, so the tidiness thing is a non-issue. I'm hoping she'll be pleasantly surprised. thanks for the input, zennie.
Author ConflictedGuy27 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Wow - this girl sounds like my twin. I had a similar situation and I much preferred staying at his house to going out. We agreed beforehand that sex was not going to happen. So there was no question during the date and no stress. We could both relax and just enjoy. As for the fridge, I'm also a picky eater and could care less what someone has in their fridge. My date asked me about some of my fav foods and stocked up on those which was really thoughtful. That earned him major points. interesting. I know a few of her favorites so I'll have a few ready for her if she wants em. cool tip.
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