Mixed28 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 My ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend and I have not contacted her since the break up which was 2 months ago nor has she contacted me (we do say hi in the halls). So I'm putting myself out there to find a new girl although it is hard because I am in a small college and so many girls are in long distance relationships (we both go to the same college). But anyways assuming they break up and I am single as well (not by choice) I will re-establish contact and try to get her back. What do you guys think I'm not technically waiting for her (she was my first real Girlfriend and she is such a beautiful girl) but if we happen to both be single in the future what's wrong with making a move? Also i got dumped for being clingy (she did not say this but looking back I was clingy however like I said it was my first serious relationship and she knew this.)
fun2bewith Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 QUOTE] You don't have to worry man, you are answering your own questions... Yes for sure go for it, but don't wait for her...improve yourself... You will have no problems with the girls...It can only get better from here...
Author Mixed28 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Yeah I have been workingout trying to build muscle sence December and I swim with friends twice a week.
bl22 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 My ex girlfriend has a new boyfriend and I have not contacted her since the break up which was 2 months ago nor has she contacted me (we do say hi in the halls). So I'm putting myself out there to find a new girl although it is hard because I am in a small college and so many girls are in long distance relationships (we both go to the same college). But anyways assuming they break up and I am single as well (not by choice) I will re-establish contact and try to get her back. What do you guys think I'm not technically waiting for her (she was my first real Girlfriend and she is such a beautiful girl) but if we happen to both be single in the future what's wrong with making a move? Also i got dumped for being clingy (she did not say this but looking back I was clingy however like I said it was my first serious relationship and she knew this.) I gurantee you will not get her back waiting and planning. The only chance you have of getting her back is when you are over her and possibly found someone else. Only then can you truly decide what is best for you..
Author Mixed28 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Oh trust me im trying to find a new girl(so many are in long distance relationships so annoying) If I found a new girl and my ex became single I would not dump the new girl for my ex. Im just saying if we happen to be single at the same time in the future I will re-establish contact and see what happens. I am sure not waiting trust me i am looking for someone new.
bl22 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Oh trust me im trying to find a new girl(so many are in long distance relationships so annoying) If I found a new girl and my ex became single I would not dump the new girl for my ex. Im just saying if we happen to be single at the same time in the future I will re-establish contact and see what happens. I am sure not waiting trust me i am looking for someone new. Dont go TRYING to find a new girl yet if your not over your ex! Clearly you stil have feelings for your ex, its best to deal with them and yourself before trying to find a new girl. Dont go rushing into a rebound you'll end up doing more damage in the long run. Let love find you, in the meantime, learn to love yourself and get over your ex fully.
Author Mixed28 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 She just got with this new boyfriend although they started talking 2 weeks after our breakup it has now been 2 months and they just started dating. So it is a little difficult and it was my first relationship and I was clingy (which I found out is common sadly she didn't tell me to tone it down and she knew she was my first real GF) I have been workingout building muscle sence December and swimming with friends and just being social but it still lingers in my mind when im not out. Also like I said i have maintained no contact.
DustySaltus Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Mixed, looking back on the relationship do you think she was right about you being clingy? What do you think you could've done differently? Use this to better yourself. Remember as you said, she did even let you know that the clinginess was bothering her. She just broke it off. Someone who wants to be with you will work through those problems, she didn't. Keep your distance and focus on yourself.
Idiotina Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I have a similar situation. Can be discussed.
Author Mixed28 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Mixed, looking back on the relationship do you think she was right about you being clingy? What do you think you could've done differently? Use this to better yourself. Remember as you said, she did even let you know that the clinginess was bothering her. She just broke it off. Someone who wants to be with you will work through those problems, she didn't. Keep your distance and focus on yourself. Yeah and she knew this was my first relationship which it is common for people to be clingy. So she didn't say why she broke up with me but I was VERY physically clingy such as kissing all the time holding hands where ever we go touching her 24/7 but I didn't text her all the time or anything like that nor was I able to see her all the time due to college my jobs and her basketball. So im like wth why did you not say anything. But yeah I have kept my distance have not contacted her for 2 months sence the breakup.
AvianChaos Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Hey man, I am in your "future situation". My first real girlfriend dumped me a couple years ago. i loved her to death, and though i didn't ever feel like i was being "clingy", my constant affection toward her was too much for her in the end. The months following the breakup were pure torture, she was always in the back of my mind and i just wanted her back so much. I said to myself the same exact thing you are saying now, if we are single in the future i want to try again. She has had a couple boyfriends during the past two years, and i have had a new girlfriend as well. My relationship just ended with this new girl (whom i also loved very much) right after my first girlfriend broke up with her bf. It's only been about a week and a half since my gf broke up with me, so I'll need a lot more time to heal before i can see things clearly. I have learned a lot from these two relationships, but when i met my last girl i realized then that there really are so many other women out there who will love you, and whom you will love. And right now I really dont think I want to be with my first love anymore. She was and still is very special to me; but people change. I have seen that she has changed, and though i still love her, I can see that we had something special that could only have existed back then. It's amazing how time will heal your wounds and change your perspective (for the better) My advice to you: keep up the NC, that is very healthy, congrats on two months. It was one year before i met my new girlfriend, and I'll admit it wasnt an easy year, but very important. Take the time to let yourself heal and improve yourself. I really hope you meet someone new so you can experience something different from what you know already and reshape your outlook. Just focus on yourself, and things will start to improve for you, it just takes time. I admit that i still entertain the thought of being with her again, and I could give her a call and meet up with her if i wanted to because we are both single. I still find her very physically attractive and I honestly just want to hook up with her in the most beautiful, sexually charged way imaginable; but i know that would bring up some long lost emotions for both of us that i dont think would be healthy right now. Maybe for you, it will be right; but give it time, let her go, and see how you feel in a year or two.
Author Mixed28 Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Your situation sounds like mine. It sucks but it is common for peopleto be clingy in their first serious relationship. For guys of course the girl wont ask you to tone it down they will just dump you. My ex is with another guy and I feel like I got screwed over. Not so much by her (although I wish she said something like tone it down) but to the simple fact that I was clingy and she was my first, lead to the end of the relationship. Now its like I wont get attached next time and I will most definately tone it down in my next relationship. This break up has changed me.
Author Mixed28 Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 Hey man, I am in your "future situation". My first real girlfriend dumped me a couple years ago. i loved her to death, and though i didn't ever feel like i was being "clingy", my constant affection toward her was too much for her in the end. The months following the breakup were pure torture, she was always in the back of my mind and i just wanted her back so much. I said to myself the same exact thing you are saying now, if we are single in the future i want to try again. She has had a couple boyfriends during the past two years, and i have had a new girlfriend as well. My relationship just ended with this new girl (whom i also loved very much) right after my first girlfriend broke up with her bf. It's only been about a week and a half since my gf broke up with me, so I'll need a lot more time to heal before i can see things clearly. I have learned a lot from these two relationships, but when i met my last girl i realized then that there really are so many other women out there who will love you, and whom you will love. And right now I really dont think I want to be with my first love anymore. She was and still is very special to me; but people change. I have seen that she has changed, and though i still love her, I can see that we had something special that could only have existed back then. It's amazing how time will heal your wounds and change your perspective (for the better) My advice to you: keep up the NC, that is very healthy, congrats on two months. It was one year before i met my new girlfriend, and I'll admit it wasnt an easy year, but very important. Take the time to let yourself heal and improve yourself. I really hope you meet someone new so you can experience something different from what you know already and reshape your outlook. Just focus on yourself, and things will start to improve for you, it just takes time. I admit that i still entertain the thought of being with her again, and I could give her a call and meet up with her if i wanted to because we are both single. I still find her very physically attractive and I honestly just want to hook up with her in the most beautiful, sexually charged way imaginable; but i know that would bring up some long lost emotions for both of us that i dont think would be healthy right now. Maybe for you, it will be right; but give it time, let her go, and see how you feel in a year or two. It sucks because I want to tell her "hey I know I smothered you and it drove you away from a good relationship and it was my first serious relationship and I did not know fully what I was doing but I learned I don't have to touch a girl 24/7 and to give my partner space" I mean it makes perfect sence but it wont help at least for now. I would have to tell her months down the road and when (if) shes single. For some reason I feel she has to know.
Recommended Posts