richbad08 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 So I just recently had sex with my ex girlfriend and I don't know if it was a good idea or bad one. I liked the sex but I told myself i wouldn't do it with her because I didn't want her to think badly of me. She thinks sex isn't a big deal and I cant say I've only done it with girlfriends but still sex should mean something unless it was a one nighter and you harldy do those. If you guys or girls out there who have been through something similar please let me know what the smart thing here is to do. I do want to be with her in a relationship but I know she doesn't at the moment. PLEASE HELP!
Stilicho Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 man, just do what feels right to you. maybe if u keep having sex with her, u guys might bond again? and you guys might be ale to start a new relationship.
Owz600 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 From what I have seen it has nearly always ends in disaster, it will end up mixing your emotions up.
Author richbad08 Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Well thats a good chance it might work. As long as I keep pleasing her I guess. Its just I wouldn't know if she wants me for just that. Afterwards though it felt right just because I was use to her for 2 years so I know her pretty well. On the other hand I want a relationship with her and she doesn't at the moment.
Denillad Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 It all depends. Don't put all your hope in it. I did that with my ex n nothing came of it. He even had a girlfriend at the time and at no time tried to get back with me. It was just sex, snooping in my life and it was the wrong choice for me. I just thought sex meant an emotional connect but it was only physical. I'm left heartbroken. So think about it.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Its weird because we didn't have a messy breakup nor did either of us cheated so really i believe maybe down the line we can get back together. Even her best friend told me that she can see us get back together but later in the future. So thats the only reason im staying close to her but i don't want sex to break us.
bl22 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 man, just do what feels right to you. maybe if u keep having sex with her, u guys might bond again? and you guys might be ale to start a new relationship. sorry i know you mean well but this is bad advice. dont keep having sex with her, you will only prolong your pain and cause more hurt and confusion. be strong, if she doesnt want all of you then she shouldnt have any.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 BL22 yeah you do have a point. Thats what I said at first but then that thought of maybe she will think different comes around and me and her were turned on so it happen. Its even harder because I don't know who else she's doing it with and I try not to think about it. Still I know she sees sex as just sex. I just don't know if she sees it the same way when me and her do it.
Juno Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 BL22 yeah you do have a point. Thats what I said at first but then that thought of maybe she will think different comes around and me and her were turned on so it happen. Its even harder because I don't know who else she's doing it with and I try not to think about it. Still I know she sees sex as just sex. I just don't know if she sees it the same way when me and her do it. You can not build a meaningful relationship just by having sex. There will come a point where you begin to feel like only a piece a meat to her. Ultimately you will resent her for using you in this way and blame her for leading you on. Sorry...just my two cents.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 You can not build a meaningful relationship just by having sex. There will come a point where you begin to feel like only a piece a meat to her. Ultimately you will resent her for using you in this way and blame her for leading you on. Sorry...just my two cents. How would I know if she really wants to be with me?
Juno Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 How would I know if she really wants to be with me? The best way is to NOT have sex with her and see if she still seeks you out.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 The best way is to NOT have sex with her and see if she still seeks you out. True. Do you believe her having sex with "friends" keeps her away from me? Because sometimes we go for about 4 or 5 days without any contact and then she happens to call me. I don't know how often she does it but it wouldn't be hard for her to do it with someone else.
Denillad Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Well, I'm talking from experience. I had so much respect for my ex but after thinking how we would make "crazy love" he would go home to new girlfriend everynight. I don't think it is good idea but it's ur choice. It tore me apart cause I always wanted more.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Well, I'm talking from experience. I had so much respect for my ex but after thinking how we would make "crazy love" he would go home to new girlfriend everynight. I don't think it is good idea but it's ur choice. It tore me apart cause I always wanted more. If you wanted more why couldn't you do that with someone else? I just wouldn't know if she called me to really be with me or just to have small talk and because she was lonely hangouts.
Juno Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 True. Do you believe her having sex with "friends" keeps her away from me? Because sometimes we go for about 4 or 5 days without any contact and then she happens to call me. I don't know how often she does it but it wouldn't be hard for her to do it with someone else. Sounds like you maybe in rotation with her other "friends". She happens to call you after 4 or 5 days? If I was in your situation, I would not like this at all. Almost sounds like you are an afterthought. There is nothing you are relaying that says this girl wants to be with you in the same way you want to be with her. You are searching for a glimmer of hope, but it's not there. So again, my advice with kindness... is to NOT have sex with her and move the hell on for your own well being.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Sounds like you maybe in rotation with her other "friends". She happens to call you after 4 or 5 days? If I was in your situation, I would not like this at all. Almost sounds like you are an afterthought. There is nothing you are relaying that says this girl wants to be with you in the same way you want to be with her. You are searching for a glimmer of hope, but it's not there. So again, my advice with kindness... is to NOT have sex with her and move the hell on for your own well being. Well she says she doesn't call me because she's trying to move on but then she happens to miss me so she calls. I notice to that she happens to talk to someone new overtime we do talk because she never seems to be talking about the same person. I don't like this but its not like we have sex overtime we meet its mostly small talk and what pisses me off the most is when she says sex isn't a big deal to her.
Juno Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Well she says she doesn't call me because she's trying to move on but then she happens to miss me so she calls. I notice to that she happens to talk to someone new overtime we do talk because she never seems to be talking about the same person. I don't like this but its not like we have sex overtime we meet its mostly small talk and what pisses me off the most is when she says sex isn't a big deal to her. If sex is not a big deal to her, then stop giving it to her.
Denillad Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 My ex had moved on. There was no turning back, I wanted more interns of relationship with him. You have to what ur comfortable with. Just don't have any expectation moving forward if u choose to communicate or sleep with her. So u will be fine whether u get back together or not.
Author richbad08 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 If sex is not a big deal to her, then stop giving it to her. It was just once. and im not anymore because I want the serious relationship we once had. But your right if it isn't a big deal then she isn't getting it from me anymore. But then she's going to get it from other dudes.
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