didigee Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Its been a couple months since me and my ex have broken up and im slowly moving on. Except now, i feel so much hate and anger towards her. I hate everything about her and everything she did to me, it pisses me off when i see her face or hear her name. I try not to think about it but sometimes i can't help it. Im just getting so sick of feeling like this and i really wanna reach a point where i don't a sh*t about her anymore. Seriously, when will this feeling go away?
fun2bewith Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Its been a couple months since me and my ex have broken up and im slowly moving on. Except now, i feel so much hate and anger towards her. I hate everything about her and everything she did to me, it pisses me off when i see her face or hear her name. I try not to think about it but sometimes i can't help it. Im just getting so sick of feeling like this and i really wanna reach a point where i don't a sh*t about her anymore. Seriously, when will this feeling go away? When you have moved through all the below mentioned stages... 5 stages of grief 1) Denial 2) Anger 3) Negotiation 4) Sadness 5) Acceptance I am where you are today...I went through all of the stages except acceptance...and I bounced right back to anger... I feel you man, it is because you are in a phase of realization...you realized that some of the stuff you believed about her were false You are pissed that your perception of her was wrong and you would rather believe that she should care more. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's not your fault that you care about her and is it really such a big crime to still like your ex? The minute you accept that it is not your fault alone, and then you will start to give less... Why do we feel anger? Cause there isn't not much we can do to make things right, we are powerless and as men we want a hands on approach, we want to fix it...but the problem is that the more we ask our mind questions, the more our mind wants to find answers...Our desire comes from what we focus on...and unfulfilled desire can easily lead to frustration, anger and even obsession... You will be fine...you are already seeking advice; you are on the right tract...
J0N Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Today marks 90 days of NC for me, and I still give a *****. I am hoping that she will be out of my mind soon, but I know it will be a while.
Kansas Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 You're not alone. I bounce between depression and anger all the time. Lately I've been more on the angry side and to be quite honest with you, I really don't know what I would do to my ex if I saw him right now. I think for both of our sakes and for the sake of my dignity it would be best if our paths never crossed again. Although it feels more comfortable for me to be in the angry stage than in depression, I've noticed that it's carrying over to other areas / relationships in my life. Where normally I'm very calm, laid back and easy going, I've noticed I've been more snappy at work and with friends and even towards myself - being really hard on myself when I make the simplest of mistakes. I've been combating it by trying to motivate myself to stay physically active - even if all I can muster is a brisk walk around the block. For me anger becomes very physical and I need to move through that energy, otherwise I get super anxious and enraged if I let my mind get the best of me. I've also been journaling a lot to get those feelings out so that they're not stuck somewhere within me, only to come out when I least expect them to. And for me personally, I know once I release the anger, I'm going to have to move to forgiveness - not for his sake, but for my own. I don't want him to have this power over me any longer. I don't want to carry the energy of this situation forward and need to find peace for myself.
Eddie Edirol Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 You will stop giving a shyt either two ways... 1.) alot of time goes by 2.) you run into someone that makes you forget about your ex. It is possible.
carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 OP, are you unable to enact NC? As she apparently has moved on to a man she met before your R ended (quite normal at your young age, though painful), NC will help the healing process. Advise those who speak her name that you wish to not hear it anymore and avoid places/times/circumstances where you will see her face. I haven't seen my exW's face since the day we filed our final divorce papers back in October. It's easy. By looking around, one sees so many other things and people of value in life and the names and faces of old relationships take on their appropriate importance in history. You should be fine, if you stick to NC, by the end of summer. Good luck
Racoon Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Hey Kanas, your not alone either. It must be in the water. lol. Im from Kansas. My anger is more physical also and lashing out to the innocent isn't pretty and it has happened far too often in the last 6 months. Unfortunately, I have to see my x all the time. It is like a stick in my heart and my heart starts racing. I hate the feeling, but if you read my last few messages, you will know where I am now. Im sure that I have a long way to go, but I am getting close to the acceptance.
I have no title Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Seriously, when will this feeling go away? when you are going to fall in love again with another girl, most probably
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