Nela Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 So, Ive never had a boyfriend. There was a guy who liked me once, but he was soooo not my type that I just ignored that fact altogether. I've liked 1 or 2 guys and expressed it, but they didn't like me. Now though.. I met this guy a month ago and he's really cute and seems very sweet and generally like a really good guy. They kind of guy you can marry and have kids with and still feel attracted to for a very long time. etc etc etc And he actually likes me. We live kind of far away from eachother (since he lives close to my parents and I don't) - so after we met, we decided to keep emailing. Now, he's mentioning calling me, and I just feel freaked out. I like him, but I seem to have some personal space issues. I don't want him to call me. I feel safe emailing. We have only been doing that for 2 weeks or so, so thats nothing! I want to get to know him first. I'm against moving too fast since that just freaks me out. So I'm a bit worried he'll push me away. Another problem is... I'm a bit, emotional. Too much for my own liking. I get upset about things really quickly and then get annoyed with myself for getting upset. Also, I share a lot of personal information and although some people really don't mind, I know some do and I don't want to scare him away by telling him too much at once. I guess my question is.. what should I do? Should I let him call me? Should I tell him about the fact that I'm an over emotional person and don't want him to get too close too quickly? Because if I don't tell him now, and I start to really like this guy, he's going to find out one day anyway, and if he walks away then, well.... I'll just be left with the pieces. And I guess I'm just scared.. I've never liked a guy that liked me. I've never dated before and I simply don't know what the right thing to do is. I would really like to have a boyfriend, but am afraid to take the risks that come with getting one. So what would be the safest/smartest way to approach this problem? I'm sorry btw if I'm a chaotic writer, I tend to be horrible at expressing my feelings! Any comments/advice/questions are really appreciated!
baguette Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 (edited) Well, I don't know if I can tell you the right answer but I can comment from a male perspective. Me personally, I don't like to "get to know someone" over email/internet. I believe if you do this too much you start creating a fantasy about what the other person is like--you start filling in the blanks with what you want to see. Why waste so much time getting to know someone over email when a date could tell you so much more about him? At the very least, I think you need to be talking to him over the phone in order to best figure out if your personalities click. Anyway.. you say you've never had a boyfriend before.. let loose a little bit and get some experience under your belt. You might get hurt, you might scare him away.. but maybe you won't. Either way, you'll learn a lot about yourself in the process. Edited January 19, 2011 by baguette
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