'I Need To Protect Myself'

[TaraMaiden]

she doesn't care.

 

She's getting over you, and doesn't want you to get in touch with her again.

So you hurt her?

ok, sorry, but - get over it.

She's trying to, you should too.

Drop it.

[pingu45s]

Your right, but she would be happy with us being friends, shes said as much, when I said we would eventually lose touch as we have no mutual friends. She said we could meet for drinks in town etc.

 

Todays been very hard. Shes Bisexual, which I knew and I was cool about. We're still friends on Facebook, and shes been going to bisexual events and befriending a load of her flatmate (who is also Bi) friends, apart from one guy, who I presumed was gay. I'm going out of my mind, now thinking he's not and shes getting together with him.

 

I'm hoping against hope, the space is giving her the time to miss me, and want to start again, however slowly. Shes still got a load of stuff around mine, which she hasn't wanted to get back as her nerves are frayed about the whole situation.

 

Judging by this link

 

http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2010/12/has_facebook_finally_introduced_whos_looking_at_your_profile.html

 

FB friends on your profile are actually looking at your profile, and the last couple of days it's either been filled with her, or her friends, so I assume they are checking out my profile to see what I have been upto.

 

Essentially FB is turning into a nightmare for me, as I keep thinking it means something, when in reality it probably doesn't. I just don't feel able to 'defriend' her, we're grown adults so shouldn't need to resort to this. One of her friends said stop pushing things, as I am driving her further away, and if there may be a chance to rekindle the relationship, if I stop questioning her decision, focus on sorting myself out, but I just don't know how much contact they would have been having. She swears blind its her own opinion and not speaking as a proxy for the ex, but I just dont know anymore. I don't know where to put myself to stop feeling like this. One minute, I'm convinced its over, the next I think the space is going to solve it. ArgghhhhhH! Happy bloody valentines

 

The last time we met up she said, she doesn't ever want to hear about any of my new relationships, and I said the same, as it would be too weird, and 'game playey' on both our sides, so I can't imagine she would be doing stuff in my view as it were on facebook. All our pictures ares still up including pics of flowers I sent her when the relationship was good.

 

EDIT: I presumed after her flatmate said she was trying to keep busy, she was just meeting you people to have space, find out what she wanted and what have you, but it does appear shes moving further and further away from me, and I realise theres nothing I can do, and it hurts.

 

EDIT: EDIT: The last time email I sent her (and last communication we had) addressed a load of things that she said were the issue, the next day, the Feist song went up on her FB and a load (well two) of her comments on FB while not directed at me, referrenced things in a letter I sent her not long after we split up. I'm so confused. The rational side of my head sees that it probably means absolutley nothing as they weren't anything direct just things I said I liked about her, and what she used to call me, but then the hopeful (deluded?) side of me, thinks its a sign to just give her time. I want to move on, but at the same time, I thought she was the girl I was going to marry, and I just can't put those feelings aside so easily.

Edited February 14, 2011 by pingu45s

[pingu45s]

It's been almosta month since she said she wanted a 'couple' of weeks before we met up to collect her stuff as her nerves are frayed by the situation. Surely if she is seeing someone she would want the break with me, to be final and not have to worry about her stuff around mine.

 

I've already said, it's a big reminder of what I had and lost so it's not helping with it being here (this is when she said leave it a couple of weeks - Stick it in the warddrobe or garage)

[pingu45s]

Well, shes just confirmed it, she is seeing someone else, met him less a month after us. Nothing serious and its early days. CHRIST ALMIGHTY Its tearing me apart

[pingu45s]

ARggggggh

 

She says she misses my friendship but thats it, Shes glad its over as she has her freedom and life back as she was always running over to my place which is the other side of the city.

 

Shes had a lot of time to think and her mind hasn't changed at all. She said We were close and spent a lot of time together but her feelings haven't changed about us splitting.

 

She says its extremeley early days with him and not too serious.

 

She didnt want to speak on the phone with me as shes stressed enough as it is,

so

she said not tonight. I said all her photos of us are still up, and she said it would be his problem if he couldnt handle that. I said she couldnt just throw 4 years away like that and she said that she could as she has her freedom and life back but not because she has met someone new and thats its completely over from her point of view and she cant be more unequivocal that we had good times and from her point of view a lot of bad times

 

'Sorry but I remember alot of bad things, I remember the good things but I'

m

glad

it's over'

 

'it's completely over, I'

m

so

sorry for the pain that

causes you but I can't be more unequivocal.'

 

I told her to think about us and she said 'problem is it isn't going to change my mind.'

[pingu45s]

Christ. I know I need to move on, but I am just hoping against hope this new thing is her on the rebound and that it will make her realise what we had. Surely it must be a rebound so quickly after such a long relationship

 

I cant believe not a month ago we had an email back and forth with her saying she told me what she wanted in the relationship i.e moving in together and committment and now she is saying she has got her freedom back as she doesn't have to travel over to mine all the time, the place she wanted to move into. I said this, and she says now that it would have been a mistake

Edited February 16, 2011 by pingu45s

[fetish]

hey bro. sorry you're hurting. i just got out of an 8 year relaitonship, been broken up about 5 days and its tearing me apart.

 

As for you, It's time to stop feeling guilty and move on, as hard as it may be. Your continuing to blame yourself for what you did is extremely detrimental to yourself and your well being. I'm sure its not good for your chronic illness either, especially if it has to do with your immune system being affected. Just remember, you're a human being too. If you weren't ready to do what she wanted on her timetable then you weren't ready. You're entitled to your rights and reasons every bit as much as she was entitled to hers.

 

NC is def the way to go on this one. It's an extremely hard and painful process but just remember that recovery is the best revenge. That's what i'm dealing with right now so i feel your pain.

[pingu45s]

Cheers man. I hope your pain eases to in time.