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Online Dating Etiquette Question


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Posted

When a woman's profile has a picture of her with a friend, is it acceptable to send a message asking for her friends information instead of hers?

 

I was hanging out with some guys tonight... and one guy claims to have received a positive response from that tactic... :lmao:

Posted

Ouch! That sounds pretty mean to me. I can't understand how it would ever get a positive response.

Posted

I have been very, very tempted to do that with some guys' profiles I've seen. :laugh:IMO, people who put up group pictures set themselves up to get responses like that. I find it a bit of a turn-off when there's anyone else in the pictures except the guy whose profile it is.

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Posted

It was one of my 22yo cousin's friends. They were over at my place tonight... and when he told that story I almost died laughing, for exactly the reason TigressA just pointed out.

 

He said the two girls were roommates. Lucky him.

Posted (edited)
When a woman's profile has a picture of her with a friend, is it acceptable to send a message asking for her friends information instead of hers?

 

I was hanging out with some guys tonight... and one guy claims to have received a positive response from that tactic... :lmao:

 

I think that women tend to not take rejection well and maybe if someone does that a woman may interpret that as implicit rejection. I realize that's sexist but I have never dated men, so maybe none of us can take rejection.

 

I tried that once but it was not well received. I don't recall exactly what I said, probably something like, "Who's your friend?" I think there was a little jealousy - it seemed like the 2nd girl was the type to get a lot of attention and that can drive some nuts when they want it.

 

I couldn't care less if it were done to me - I can't please everyone and I want everyone to be happy so if you see someone you like, I would love to be able to connect the two and if I had another's picture in my profile, it's fair game in my opinion.

Edited by Jonno_S
Posted

How about this....you a picture of her and her friend, but she hasn't indicated which one she is.

 

One of the women is fat, the other not.

 

So, you have to ask her which one she is.

 

 

When a woman's profile has a picture of her with a friend, is it acceptable to send a message asking for her friends information instead of hers?

 

I was hanging out with some guys tonight... and one guy claims to have received a positive response from that tactic... :lmao:

Posted

Bad ettiquette, yes, I'd say. I'd just laugh at it, generally, I think. Wouldn't give out a friend's info to the guy, though if she was on the site, I might let her know he thought she was hot, so she could check him out. I'd never go out with a guy who asked for my # from a friend in that manner.

 

I have been very, very tempted to do that with some guys' profiles I've seen. :laugh:IMO, people who put up group pictures set themselves up to get responses like that. I find it a bit of a turn-off when there's anyone else in the pictures except the guy whose profile it is.

 

And I find it a big turnoff if the guy ONLY has pictures of himself and no activity or friend shots. I always set the main picture as just me, but I had other pictures that demonstrated, yes, I do thinks and am social and such (friends, interests, etc). So, it really depends.

 

That said, I do tend to only pick activity photos where I think I still look damn good, and where no one particularly outshines me.

Posted

I think if done in a tactful way it could possibly work.

 

I once had a guy contact me online and want to fix me up with his friend that wasn't online. He basically said he knew we weren't a good fit (age and other various factors) but he thought I'd be perfect for his friend. I did end up going out with his friend for about 3 dates but there just wasn't any chemistry there. It was still cute that his friend was trying to play matchmaker :)

Posted

Thinking this over I'd say "Go for it, all she can do is ignore you."

 

Then I remembered that I've actually seen a profile with a pic that had two girls (Girl A and B). Lets say that was the profile of Girl A. Then after a few days you stumble upon a different profile and something seems familiar...it's Girl B. If they are roommates chances are they are both doing online dating.

 

Personally, I would wait at least a few days before pulling that move.

Posted

OP, I thought you already had a wonderful NON-American GF.

Posted
I think if done in a tactful way it could possibly work.

 

I once had a guy contact me online and want to fix me up with his friend that wasn't online. He basically said he knew we weren't a good fit (age and other various factors) but he thought I'd be perfect for his friend. I did end up going out with his friend for about 3 dates but there just wasn't any chemistry there. It was still cute that his friend was trying to play matchmaker :)

 

I've just had a guy telling me that him and his friend both fancied me and asked me if I would agree to a spot of spitroasting ;):laugh: :laugh:

 

I politely declined

Posted
OP, I thought you already had a wonderful NON-American GF.

 

Can't someone post a question here on LS just out of curiosity?

Posted
Can't someone post a question here on LS just out of curiosity?
Can't someone let the person the question was posed to answer it themselves? :laugh:
  • Author
Posted
OP, I thought you already had a wonderful NON-American GF.

 

I do. She is here on an F-1 Visa.

Posted
I do. She is here on an F-1 Visa.

Well, good. I hope everything works out for you two.

 

And aren't you advising these friends to look for women on only mail order bride websites? :p

Posted

I routinely see 'group' pictures, like a lady and a couple friends, on international dating sites as part of a montage of pictures in an ad. It's not uncommon to see pictures with the person's children as well. One lady I dated, who appears in my LS album, had a picture of herself, her daughter and granddaughter.

 

OP, as this is online dating and the people are essentially a few of billions of relative strangers on the planet, I'd say to do what you (or your friend in this case) do, in this case inquiring about the pictured friend. If it's received poorly, it is. If well, that. You're not collecting global karma for pursuing what you (friend) want, honestly and sincerely, IMO. Good luck :)

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Posted
Well, good. I hope everything works out for you two.

And aren't you advising these friends to look for women on only mail order bride websites? :p

 

I know one of those websites that works in reverse. If you are interested you could throw up some sexy photos and with any luck be whisked away to the middle east within a month!! If your lucky you could wind up being wife #50 for some rich Sheik.

Posted
I know one of those websites that works in reverse. If you are interested you could throw up some sexy photos and with any luck be whisked away to the middle east within a month!! If your lucky you could wind up being wife #50 for some rich Sheik.

:sick: No thanks.

 

I'm very happy with my middle-class American man who, by the way, is very happy with his middle-class American woman. :love:

Posted
I've just had a guy telling me that him and his friend both fancied me and asked me if I would agree to a spot of spitroasting ;):laugh: :laugh:

 

I politely declined

Unfortunately I think I know what spitroasting means here. But doesn't spot mean "a little bit"? Strange way to sell the idea.

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