FaithInTheDark Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 i met this guy last week we have hung out for 3 days straight, and we hit it off really well. I feel like ive known him forever, he is sweet, open, same outlook as me, funny, honest, everything!! he tells me how he thinks about me all the time and really likes me..i like him too. the only thing is im 21 and hes 30, is this age gap to big, because im beyond what people think, i just would like an opinion. thaanks
JusChill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Do you love him, are you happy with him? Remember one thing, you are the one dating him, not your friends and families. If age matters, then what about celine dion? she's probably one of the happiest woman alive. ^^ be happy.
denise_xo Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 My ex was 12 years older than me, we first met when I was 21. Age was not a reason why we split up in the end. Personally, I tend to draw a line with someone who could hypothetically be my father. I think 9 years difference is relatively common.
TaraMaiden Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Is 9 years too big of an age gap?? If you're 8, I think there could be some problems, yes..... At the very beginning, yes. (If he had been 18, he would never date a nine-year-old.) In the middle, no. (it's not so bad, age is a state of mind, and if you really love one another, it can be very successful. my parents were 11 years apart and married 57 years). At the end, yes. (My mother was transformed from my father's wife, partner, confidante and lover into his full-time medical carer, nurse and housekeeper.)
Stitch Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I don't think so no. My boyfriend is 9 years older than me too, and we met when I was 22. I'm 24 now and still having a fantastic time. If its a healthy relationship, then age shouldn't even factor into it in my opinion.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted February 8, 2011 Author Posted February 8, 2011 thanks alot guys for the insightful feedback
Lilmisus Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 I'm sorry but I find it funny how a couple people mentioned love after y'all knowing each other for a week. I think the better question right now is: do y'all have feelings for each other (if you do love each other after one week, props to you). My friend is 20 and engaged to someone who is 45 years old. Although not many other people are fine with it (within reason..that's twice her age), they are, because of their feelings for each other. Another friend is dating someone ten years older than her (she's currently 20, he's 30), and since they're so right for each other, no one that I know of, sees a problem with it, they just work together. All that matters is that y'all feel comfortable around each other, and that if you went out in public, that it wouldn't bother either of you (an issue my first friend has) to have people see you holding hands or getting all lovey dovey. If it seems right to both of you, then there's no other answer than no to your question.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted March 8, 2011 Author Posted March 8, 2011 I'm sorry but I find it funny how a couple people mentioned love after y'all knowing each other for a week. I think the better question right now is: do y'all have feelings for each other (if you do love each other after one week, props to you). My friend is 20 and engaged to someone who is 45 years old. Although not many other people are fine with it (within reason..that's twice her age), they are, because of their feelings for each other. Another friend is dating someone ten years older than her (she's currently 20, he's 30), and since they're so right for each other, no one that I know of, sees a problem with it, they just work together. All that matters is that y'all feel comfortable around each other, and that if you went out in public, that it wouldn't bother either of you (an issue my first friend has) to have people see you holding hands or getting all lovey dovey. If it seems right to both of you, then there's no other answer than no to your question. U are correct on people mentioning love after one week of knowing one another...we have been seeing each other for 2 months now and things are going good. age actually has never entered my mind. I find him facinating with the stories he has and the experinces he shares with me. Alot of men in their early 20s are ill experiences when it comes to sexuality and life in general. I mos def am not ashamed nor embarressed to be seen in public. I think I finally found the one. ... thanks for ur feed back ....
BS76 Posted March 8, 2011 Posted March 8, 2011 i met this guy last week we have hung out for 3 days straight, and we hit it off really well. I feel like ive known him forever, he is sweet, open, same outlook as me, funny, honest, everything!! he tells me how he thinks about me all the time and really likes me..i like him too. the only thing is im 21 and hes 30, is this age gap to big, because im beyond what people think, i just would like an opinion. thaanks 9 years is nothing. I know 40 & 50 year olds with 20 somethings and it's just fine.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Men, when surveyed about the ideal age of a female mate for them, gave, on average, an answer that was "half of their own age plus seven years" Someone of 30 would have listed "22" as 'ideal'. Your age difference isn't a serious problem in and of itself (unless one or the other or both of you make it one)
SpinScratch Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 im a 27 year old male and i just met a 36 year old female. we been dating for a month and a half and everything is pretty cool. we never really talk about our age gap except that ive made an occasional joke. we dont give it much thought. no problems.
mogul Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Age should not matter unless its something ridiculous. A 9 year age gap is nothing major. If you are in the same life stage and he is financially/emotionally competent and mature, it is a non issue.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 No, you're both adults, and both capable of having an adult relationship. Plus, he's not 60 years old. He's 30. That's not old at all.
TaraMaiden Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 Nobody is implying he's old. The concern was merely about the age gap. She's 21, he's 30. It's a reasonable question.
paleblue Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 I think its reasonable also. I think what’s important is how you get along with each other. and the maturity level of the parties can come into play. ive noticed most of the time women tend to be a little more mature so it's easier to relate with each other if he's older. there's always exceptions tho, which is what i ran into last year, but thats another story!
Cee Posted March 9, 2011 Posted March 9, 2011 When I was 17, I dated a guy who was 25. Many people had the same reaction, "What is wrong with him to date a woman so young?" I was insulted by the way people talked about it, but I ignored it. We were together for a year and it was a good first relationship. Btw, we never had sex although we talked about it towards the end. I've learned that lots of people have opinions which they will share in unkind ways. But what's most important is how he treats you. And how compatible you are. If he's a good guy and likes you, I see no problem in testing the waters.
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