Ella whispers Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I had an A with a married man that I ended when my feelings for my SO were strong and I commited myself to him. He was dating other women and I was seeing other men. I have fallen crazy in love with him and don't want anyone else and he doesn't either. I know that he loves me. One of the women he was seeing was angry when he told her he wouldn't see her anymore. I had gotten some mean anonymous texts and we both assumed they were coming from her, I changed my number last week. After she found out he was with me she continued to try to get him to come over and sleep with her. Now 4 months down the road he got a text from her after NC since he said no the last time. He texted back then called her. They spoke for 20 minutes. He told me about it after I asked if he had heard from her but he didn't come out and tell me on his own. I contacted her to say that we are looking for houses and plan on living together, I am sorry she was hurt but we are in a serious relationship. She said she would respect that but she kept on texting him and sending pictures. I asked for a detailed bill from his cell company so he can prove to me the truth of what he says. Since he didn't tell me part of me feels that he is hiding something. He said he would get detailed statements from now on but I don't want that, I want to trust him completely again. She said they didn't meet and so did he. He didn't cheat but it feels the same.
ASIANRAINFOREST Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 i am totally with u. rebuilding the trust is so difficult at this point. we have to hang on there if getting back together is what we both want, right?
What_Next Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Sounds to me like there is NO foundation of trust and respect in your relationship. Why continue it?
greengoddess Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I wonder if your lack of trust comes from being involved in an affair in the past not from karma. You know what people are capable of, you participated in it.
YellowShark Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I had an A with a married man... He was dating other women...we are looking for houses and plan on living together.. we are in a serious relationship. I will not tell you what path in life is best for you Ella whispers. But I will throw a cliche your way to illustrate a reality. "If he'll cheat with you ... he'll cheat on you." Best of luck.
Author Ella whispers Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 We knew that we were both seeing other people in the beginning. When we wanted to commit we agreed to put all of our cardes on the table so to speak. I know that I have trust issues as does he. The fact that I had to ask and he trickle truthed me is what is bothering me. I think that he felt safeer contacting her because she didn't have my new phone number. She would brag, like she did when I met with her and he knew that. My worry is that he wants me to change my life, live with him, help raise his son and he may in the future allow someone to ruin it. People will always come into our lives and relationship, we just have to keep them at a safe distance.
dont-be-naive Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I know that I have trust issues as does he. thats like my x-wife's OM not being able to trust her because she cheated on me with him. thats one of those "well duh!" moments.
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