greengoddess Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 So did you do anything crazy when you found out about the affair?
PegNosePete Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No... I kind of wish I had. All the advice says to stay calm and don't do anything stupid but in hindsight I wish I'd done some crazy sh*t so that I could look back at in years to come and say yeah I did some crazy sh*t.
Owl Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Define 'crazy'. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and hold it down for almost 3 weeks. I lost 20lbs + within the first two weeks after d-day. Crazy? On d-day I took my anger out on objects in our backyard. Literally smashed a steel bbq grill to pieces with my hands and feet...destroyed the wooden fence in the backyard in the same fashion. Crazy? Spent months obsessing about 'revenge' in various means and fashions. Crazy? The list goes on. Crazy? I dunno. Rational? Absolutely not. 1
TigerCub Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Spent months obsessing about 'revenge' in various means and fashions. Crazy? That's so not crazy - acting out on it..hmmmm, maybe just a little but thinking about revenge is so understandable IMO.
tinktronik Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I cut the toes out of all of my exH socks. Unfortunately this is the craziest I got. I wish I had stuck up for myself more. 1
Spark1111 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 So did you do anything crazy when you found out about the affair? Tons...couldn't eat, couldn't sleep...went to bed with a botlle, but it only made me sick, sick, sick... Never did that again! Lost 20+ pounds, walked miles and miles and miles, faster and faster to stop the thoughts. Threw him out, packed his bags, refused to talk with him, alerted trusted members of our families that our marriage was over; found a "questionable email," one where he was complaining our marriage to a woman and attached it to his address book with some pretty curt comments before sending the blast.. Went out and bought thongs! :confused:of all things! dyed my hair platinum blond, took up country line dancing and really tried to save my sanity while I prepared for a future without him. I kept telling the IC I felt irrational.....He said, "No, all of this is normal. I haven't heard one irrational thought or act yet...." Well, except when I woke up at 4 a.m. and I JUST KNEW he was at her house drove there, and I took pictures on my cell and sent those out, too. But I really, really wanted to crash into his car and leave him stuck in her driveway, but I did not! :mad:Thank God! I kept telling our children: "I promise I will be normal again next year.":o ....yeah, pretty carzy times. 1
dont-be-naive Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 So did you do anything crazy when you found out about the affair? not when I found out about the affair, but during the divorce. she had moved out and taken what she thought was all of her stuff. After she was moved out completely, I came across a box with a bunch of her photos when she was little, old prom pictures. Memoribilia to which she had no duplicates. So I threw them out. She'll never now have pictures of when she was a kid. Then I went upstairs, poured myself a glass of wine and just smiled my ass off.
What_Next Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Didn't sleep or eat properly for months. Tried my best to drink myself to death (failed thankfully). The day I actually discovered it screamed my head off while driving across country on a business trip (there was another guy in the card with me...). Then I decided to go on a quest to f__k whatever walked. Also failed on that quest luckily but did get involved with someone that was a COMPLETE mistake and disaster. She on the other hand did all sorts of crazy stuff (yes the BS) like try and rip the head off the woman I was dating, flipping out while driving my truck and so on. Now in retrospect it was pure jealousy fueling her reaction. Bad all the way round. Bottom line I reacted like I figured I would. He was never close enough for me to get my hands on or I would have beaten him half to death, no question. Still not ruling that out should he ever cross my path here in Canada.
flying Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Haha, yeah, I was also on the BS diet...lost about 20 pounds, couldn't sleep, etc. The "craziest" thing I ever did was when we were living apart but still supposed to be "working it out" and I found out that instead of being at his family's house, he was staying with the OW and her mom. I called to find out what was going on, discuss our plans for MC, etc. He wouldn't call me back for days. I was furious at being lied to, yet again, so I threw caution to the wind - I called the OW's house and asked to speak to him. The mom answered. She asked who was calling and I said it was his wife. It was damn obvious that this lady had no idea her charming new houseguest was actually married. He called me back within about two minutes and reamed me out ("where am I supposed to stay now??!?") :lmao: I can only imagine the tap-dancing he had to do that evening. Sweet. Anyway, that was a good wakeup call, because it wasn't long after that that I decided it wasn't going to work out. I suppose that people on these boards might consider that psycho stalking behavior or whatever. But the truth is, I don't regret it one bit. He had it coming. Seriously - violence is never OK. Vandalism is never OK. But busting his lying butt? Seemed pretty OK to me. 1
Steadfast Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Plenty of crazy ideas, but none acted upon. I wanted to! A dear friend who was helping me (sounding board) was a local detective and told me if I got involved he'd throw ME in jail! I just had too much at stake with the kids. Probably the craziest thing I did was a couple months after she moved out. She swore she wasn't seeing anyone (just needed 'time') but friends kept telling me a strange truck was parked at her house all night. One day at lunch I drove by and inspiration struck; I stole her garbage. I took it home, dumped it out on the back porch and started digging. I felt like a slimy toad doing that, but the tactic was more than effective in telling me what I needed to know. Not only was there TONS of empty beer bottles (she hates beer) but there were condoms too. Used ones, wrapped in the bathroom trash. Eeech. Empty sex lube boxes too. A few of the condom wrappers had her favorite chewing gum stuck to them. She always chewed gum before sex because she didn't like the taste of toothpaste before. That was probably the low point for me. On my hands and knees with tears dropping down onto garbage. Now that I think of it, that's quite ironic. Whenever someone asks me if I gave her enough chances or did the right thing by divorcing her, I think of that afternoon. I'll never go back to that. 1
flying Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 That was probably the low point for me. On my hands and knees with tears dropping down onto garbage. Now that I think of it, that's quite ironic. Aw...hugs. I know well that overpowering need to just...KNOW, even if it means sifting through someone else's trash. Finding the truth becomes more important than almost anything else. It's very strange to look back at that time in my life now. I'm so glad I've found some distance, and hope you have too. But, one good thing that came out of it all is that it has deepened my sense of empathy for people in that kind of pain.
Steadfast Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Aw...hugs. I know well that overpowering need to just...KNOW, even if it means sifting through someone else's trash. Finding the truth becomes more important than almost anything else. I couldn't end a 17-year marriage on a hunch. I mean, she admitted to cheating but didn't want a divorce. She wanted it all, but I digress. I often wonder what's the worst of it, but gaslighting has to be way up there. It's very strange to look back at that time in my life now. I'm so glad I've found some distance, and hope you have too. But, one good thing that came out of it all is that it has deepened my sense of empathy for people in that kind of pain. That's why I post here. The advice and counsel I received for moving on was worth passing on. I was asked to trust certain decisions and it wasn't easy. Yet, it was the right thing to do. Like you, when I read it, I feel it. 1
SueBee3490 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 not when I found out about the affair, but during the divorce. she had moved out and taken what she thought was all of her stuff. After she was moved out completely, I came across a box with a bunch of her photos when she was little, old prom pictures. Memoribilia to which she had no duplicates. So I threw them out. She'll never now have pictures of when she was a kid. Then I went upstairs, poured myself a glass of wine and just smiled my ass off. Wow don't be naive - now that's pretty good. That would be more painful than just about anything - losing old pictures of which are the only copies. I never did much of anything - I did contact the women he went out with to inform them he was engaged to me and now married. I let his family know that he's a no-good SOB and I wouldn't be staying with him. They couldn't believe he'd do something like this and they tried to continuously "include" me in family functions to which I'd never attend. He had a new pickup that I wanted to take a sledgehammer to but never did for fear of being arrested. Kind of wish I would have done the lyrics in the Carrie Underwood "Before He Cheats" song.
datura_noir Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I just had to post this seeing as the discussion is about "batsh&%^t crazy" BS's- it's called "my wife knows everything" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQsUVw6lsDw:laugh:
Woggle Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 The weekend after I found out I sat in the house wasted out of my mind with a loaded gun ready to do myself in. That was the lowest I have ever been in my life.
Carrot2000 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I know a guy who found out his girlfriend was cheating and one night the OM's car was parked in her driveway. My friend is a mechanic, so he proceeded to disassemble the guy's car; took off the hood, doors, took front the seats out, took parts off the engine and left them in the driveway. 1
vtbrokenhearted Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I just had to post this seeing as the discussion is about "batsh&%^t crazy" BS's- it's called "my wife knows everything" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQsUVw6lsDw:laugh: This is exactly what I needed to get me out of my funk this evening. Thank you!
flying Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I know a guy who found out his girlfriend was cheating and one night the OM's car was parked in her driveway. My friend is a mechanic, so he proceeded to disassemble the guy's car; took off the hood, doors, took front the seats out, took parts off the engine and left them in the driveway. I know I just said vandalism is bad but I have to admit this cracked me up.
flying Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I just had to post this seeing as the discussion is about "batsh&%^t crazy" BS's- it's called "my wife knows everything" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQsUVw6lsDw:laugh: OK, this entire series is hysterical!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DIHc5EpsVA&feature=related :lmao:
Carrot2000 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I know I just said vandalism is bad but I have to admit this cracked me up. Really, what can you do when your car is in pieces? You can't call a tow truck because the wheels are off! 1
summerdowling87 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Have you ever seen Jerry Springer lol to see what the BS or bf/GF did when they got cheat on
michelangelo Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 And in a really bad place mentally. I lost 30 pounds, and ended up on a cliff in the Sierra Nevadas mentally flipping a coin about jumping to my doom. Only thoughts of my kids and my anger at my wife for screwing up our lives, and me not wanting her to "win" stopped me from doing it.
Molley Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 oh boy... yes lots of little things that were not normal behavoir for me... but one of my favorites and most liberating of pain and anger was disposing of my H's pint glasses. My H brews his own beer and had a nice collection of pint glasses, gathered over 18 years of life together. One fine summer afternoon I was hiding out in the back yard waiting for H to pack his sh*t up and get out of the house, when this bitter, black anger welled up inside of me. As a release, I slammed my pint glass, half full of beer against the side of the house. Wow! That felt so fantastic! As H ran outside to see what was happening, I shoved passed him, sprinted into the garage, BECAUSE SMASHING THAT GLASS FELT soooo GREAT, I needed more and I had a plan :-) I systematically proceeded to grab and smash the rest of my H's pint glasses against the cement floor, one after the other, about 25 glasses in all. He just stood there shocked and speechless. Of course, I wasn't totally crazed, I left a few glasses, ones that I liked, after all, I needed something to drink beer out of. Geez... 16 months later, the memory still feels great! 1
Citizen Erased Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I know a guy who found out his girlfriend was cheating and one night the OM's car was parked in her driveway. My friend is a mechanic, so he proceeded to disassemble the guy's car; took off the hood, doors, took front the seats out, took parts off the engine and left them in the driveway. This is Gold.
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