dj_dj Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 my girlfriend and i had been in a serious relationship for 3 years. we belong to different nationalities. i finished my studies and we agreed to stay in a long distance relationship and a month before i had to leave, i sent her to work and travel program to USA. i did that coz i thought that it'd be easier for her to leave as staying and watch me leave would be ery difficult for her. i came back to my country for 2 years as planed and we continued our relationship. until a week ago when she broke up with me saying that feelings were staring to fade. i was heartbroken. 2 days ago she wrote to me saying that she was sorry nd confused and that she could'nt stay away she loved me.i took her back. until today morning when she called me up and said theat she wanted to confess something. she said that her last week inthe states was very difficult and a boy started trying to kiss her and she gave in. she said that thay contnued kissing for that week but afer that thy decided to stay friends. and she did'nt hae the courage to tell me. she said that she does'nt knw what to do and that she does'st wanna kick that person out of er life coz he's now her best friend but she does'nt have any feelings for him. But said she did'nt want me to get hurt coz she doea'nt trust herself.... I ws shocked i'm mad as hell but i did'nt wanna let go of her... So i said that i'll take her back if she deleted that guy from her contacts. She said that the guy was no problem but she was afraid that she might commit the same mistake witho someone else she does'nt trust herself. So i said that we're on a break and that she could correct her mistake if she kicked that guy out of her life. She said she is confused but is sure that ita not abot that guy. I know that she loves me... But i can't live with te fact that she's talking everyday to the guy who she was kissing for a week! I'm confused. I was in agony when she left me a week ago... But now... It seems that was nothing... Her last words, when i said good bye and good luck, were- goodbye-eiter till decide to kick him out or forever.... I m not gonna ever write to her myself. But what should i do if she wants to come again???? PS. She was crying and almost out of her mind all through the call... And it seemed she had'nt slept thzt night
PegNosePete Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Hi dude, welcome to LS. Sorry for your situation. You need to get rid of her. If she doesn't trust herself then why should you trust her? And if you can't trust her after 3 years, then you never will. It's totally unacceptable for her to be still talking to this guy. He clearly means a lot more to her than she is letting on. You told her that if she wants you back then she has to get rid of him... now you need to put your money where your mouth is. She chose a "friendship" (or whatever) with him. Now you need to ditch her. If you allow her to get away with what she is doing then you are showing weakness and being a doormat. You need to show strength, and that means getting rid of her.
Author dj_dj Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 i get what you are saying. tell me isn't it possible that it really was a mistake i mean separation for 2 years is a big deal. if she really did'nt love me why would she have clled me up every day even after that incidence? i trust her coz this is the first time shes lied to me. and that too she couldnt keep from me. instead of dumping me for that guy she kept going on woth me. she made me talk to her mom after that(her mom did'nt knw abt us as she's kinda patriot n i'm a foreigner) she told her about me, i talked to her mom... it can be the fact that she committed a mistake when i was away for a long time so she was vulnerable? And now she's confused why did she do that? She told me that if she would'nt get things in her head straight, she would not ask me to take her ack, but she said that she'd never go with that guy... And it might make sense i mean why'd she tell me that? We were breaking up she does'nt love to lie. To anyone. And logically, that guy is a foreigner too! She told me his name and made me view his profile too. And anyways, would she really jump from one long distance relationship to another when she does'nt even know the guy properly? What u have written is totally sensible... But given the current scenario, do u think she deserves a second chance?
Eddie Edirol Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 She doesnt deserve a second chance. What she tried to do to you is keep you waiting for her while she had fun in the US. Her saying she doesnt trust herself is basically manipulating you into letting her fool around. She needs attention, she needs you there, and she cant get attention from you while youre away. Shes horny and wants the touch of a man. Her feelings already faded for you since she wanted to fool around with someone else. You cant do long distance with this woman, it will never work. A boy didnt try to kiss her and she gave in, she made that happen. She is trying to make it look like she was forced into temptation, but shes lying. Shes not confused, she knows what she wants, and if you cant be there to give it to her, shes going to keep fooling around, and manipulating you, if you let her.
Author dj_dj Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 i really dunno how to react.. ur post hurt me more than her confession... u might be right
PegNosePete Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Eddie is right. isn't it possible that it really was a mistake No it is not. A mistake is forgetting your wallet or losing your bus ticket. Kissing someone even once let alone for a week, is NOT a mistake. It is a choice she made. i trust her coz this is the first time shes lied to me. That makes no sense dude. She lied to you. Therefore you should not trust her. Ditch her dude, if you take her back then it WILL happen again.
dont-be-naive Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 dj_dj. dump her. she isn't trustworthy.
seibert253 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Cheaters Lie. Remember that. So, your girl told you she was "kissing" a guy for a week. Using the handy dandy STBX300 cheater pocket translater, I translated what she really said. She was F#cking this dude for a week. Whenever a cheater said the "kissed", it really means there was a more intimate exchange of bodily fluids. Next translation; she told you she's "confused". Translation; I want to continue to bonk this other dude, but I want you to stick around in case he's not prince charming. I need you as my "fall back on". You deserve better. She needs to go.
forrest Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Cheaters Lie. Remember that. So, your girl told you she was "kissing" a guy for a week. Using the handy dandy STBX300 cheater pocket translater, I translated what she really said. She was F#cking this dude for a week. Whenever a cheater said the "kissed", it really means there was a more intimate exchange of bodily fluids. Next translation; she told you she's "confused". Translation; I want to continue to bonk this other dude, but I want you to stick around in case he's not prince charming. I need you as my "fall back on". You deserve better. She needs to go. quoted for truth
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