Heartache in being involved with a Emotionally Unavailable person

[gentle41]

Hello Everyone: here is the problems,

 

Nine and 1/2 months ago, I started dating a lady (30's) who was in a verge of breaking up a 5 years relationship with the boyfriend whom she has one child. Although, she was still living with him but only as roommate.

My advice to her was, as for now, I appreciate her and the time she is spending with me, but, I really don't want to be a rebound. I told her, her best option is to get out of that house and start working on herself, who knows maybe we can have future.

Anyway, few days later, she moved out and temp. stayed with her girl friend and sharing a room all four of them ( two children).

The sad part is she had tried and attempted to stay away and move out of that guy's house couple of times before but both time failed, because of lack of job skills and job and a place to live.

I have helped her to get a new place, and support her with the basic daily life requirements, food and clothes,...etc.

After two months she was diagnosed for Bi-polar, I advised her to stop usage of any substance (weed,...) and heavy liquers, in order to find causes for bi-polar.

 

After three months, she stopped drinking, smoking and start going to gym. She improved herself after 5-6 months dramaticly.

In all this time we were dating 1-2wice a week, going out or spent time with her children.

In first 2-3 months i could have sex with her, i thought it is not right and it counts as Taking Advantage" maybe because she was crying and emotionally she was a mess and unstable.

Physical intimacy did not go further than kissing, hugging, and not much of affection and emotions coming out of her.

After 3-6 months, she improved herself even further by taking few night classes and spending more time with her children and drop clubing that she was addicted. But still not much of affection toward me.

I told her, I am not expecting any romantic relationship, if, she is not ready or she has any interest to any other man from her past or present. I told her she is not in any obligation what

so

ever to be in romantic relationship with me, because i supported her. although, I have some romantic feeling . Her reply was she is not ready to have a men in her life yet, but, if she can get out the Box and when she is ready she does not want any other men then me.

6-present: I asked her to get some professional help and for past three months she is visiting a psychologist once a week. she said her ex was good father to the children and, I believe that (children love him), but the reason she wanted to leave him because he encouraged her to go out and make money in any which way she can (wat a F. Human). She is saying, there is non and won't be any emotional feelings for him, but we are good friend as we were before getting involved.

I did go with her in one of her session, and Dr. was agreed that she has to drop a lot of garbage, before she can start a successful and more stable relationship with me or anyone else.

I stop initiate scheduling our meeting or get together and the result is, we seeing each other less, but she text everyday regardless of what. I have to mention that her older daughter (11 years) does not like me unlike younger one(3) and she doesn't know why she feels that way.

I am frustrated, but I know, that is a part of being involved with an EU women., I really don't know what to do, leave her or wait for her. You see, I know she is still working on her self and I know, she does not want repeat the same pattern, move from one man to another.

I do love her and her two children, and I can see some progress, but, again do i have to sacrifice my self more than this. Any ideas please!