confused923 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 My boyfriend and I picked up a handbag as my Christmas present before the holiday. It was $2,500 gift. He makes more than $1million a year. So this gift is not breaking his wallet. He placed the order and asked the store to ship directly to my address. Christmas came and went. The gift never came. I thought maybe it got lost in the shipping process so told him that I never got the present. He called the store and learned that the credit card company blocked the transaction due to the large transaction. I thought he would follow up on the transaction and get it resolve. He never brought it up again. It is now in the mid of Jan. We are still seeing each other. We have been seeing each other for three year. This event deeply bothered me and made me think that he is not a man who lives by his words and committment. Why is he doing this? If he doesn;'t want to spend the money, he should have told me so. What does this mean to our relationship?
SarcasticBlonde Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 My boyfriend and I picked up a handbag as my Christmas present before the holiday. It was $2,500 gift. He makes more than $1million a year. So this gift is not breaking his wallet. He placed the order and asked the store to ship directly to my address. Christmas came and went. The gift never came. I thought maybe it got lost in the shipping process so told him that I never got the present. He called the store and learned that the credit card company blocked the transaction due to the large transaction. I thought he would follow up on the transaction and get it resolve. He never brought it up again. It is now in the mid of Jan. We are still seeing each other. We have been seeing each other for three year. This event deeply bothered me and made me think that he is not a man who lives by his words and committment. Why is he doing this? If he doesn;'t want to spend the money, he should have told me so. What does this mean to our relationship? Why don't you ask him?
Jazzari Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 My boyfriend and I picked up a handbag as my Christmas present before the holiday. It was $2,500 gift. He makes more than $1million a year. So this gift is not breaking his wallet. He placed the order and asked the store to ship directly to my address. Christmas came and went. The gift never came. I thought maybe it got lost in the shipping process so told him that I never got the present. He called the store and learned that the credit card company blocked the transaction due to the large transaction. I thought he would follow up on the transaction and get it resolve. He never brought it up again. It is now in the mid of Jan. We are still seeing each other. We have been seeing each other for three year. This event deeply bothered me and made me think that he is not a man who lives by his words and committment. Why is he doing this? If he doesn;'t want to spend the money, he should have told me so. What does this mean to our relationship? In my experience, the credit card company calls you when there is an issue like this. They don't just block it without saying something to the card owner. And if he makes that much money, I would be surprised if they blocked such a small amount. Sounds odd.
Nexus One Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 In my experience, the credit card company calls you when there is an issue like this. They don't just block it without saying something to the card owner. And if he makes that much money, I would be surprised if they blocked such a small amount. Sounds odd. No it's not strange at all. Many/most credit cards have either a $2500 or $5000 USD limit on them. If the limit was $2500, then that's a 100% withdraw of the credit on that card. The credit card company will call you in that case due to possible fraud or theft. This is very common, it's standard. This event deeply bothered me and made me think that he is not a man who lives by his words and committment. The payment got blocked, the gift probably no longer arrived on time for Christmas so perhaps he let that one gift slip? What does this mean to our relationship? Are you even serious? It's HANDBAG that he initially purchased for you, but of which the payment got blocked by the credit card company. It probably means nothing at all for your relationship.
Author confused923 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 He knew the present didn't arrive more than 2 weeks ago and didn't take any action. If he cares about the relationship, wouldn't he want to fix the problem right away or tell me that he will get it fixed? Maybe he is regret about spending this much on a gift?
Author confused923 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 How to bring this topic up to him and get some clarifications?
Jazzari Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No it's not strange at all. Many/most credit cards have either a $2500 or $5000 USD limit on them. If the limit was $2500, then that's a 100% withdraw of the credit on that card. The credit card company will call you in that case due to possible fraud or theft. This is very common, it's standard. That's a VERY low limit and on par with someone with no credit history or a poor credit history. If he makes a million a year, there is no way he has that limitation. But I agree that the credit company would call. In which case, you approve the transaction. So why didn't he?
january2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 What's really bothering you? you are disappointed that didn't get the expensive handbagyou are disappointed that what was meant to be a nice gift for you has turned into your boyfriend not having gotten you anything for Christmasyou are concerned that this is a red flag regarding your boyfriend and his financesyou are concerned that your boyfriend might be hiding something and that's why he hasn't followed up regarding the handbag If it is 1 and/or 2, I don't think you're going to get much sympathy here because posters are likely to see you as being a bit 'grabby'. If it is 3 and/or 4, I think that you will have to talk to your boyfriend directly because there's not a lot to go on in your OP. As an aside, I feel that this may well end up becoming another 'flowers for my birthday' thread.
Nexus One Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 If he makes a million a year, there is no way he has that limitation. Even millionaires would have to apply specifically for a special limitless credit card. If he hasn't taken the effort to apply for such a special card, then he too will simply get a standard credit card.
Jazzari Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Even millionaires would have to apply specifically for a special limitless credit card. If he hasn't taken the effort to apply for such a special card, then he too will simply get a standard credit card. That's not been my experience but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. In any case, the real questions are those January2011 laid out.
Jynxx Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 How to bring this topic up to him and get some clarifications? Baby, do you remember the handbag we picked for Xmas? Do you know why it hasn't arrived yet? It's not rocket science...
sweet sugar Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Did he get you anything else for Christmas? Maybe it was a method to take you shopping for a handbag, and for you to see how high of a price of a bag you'd pick out, to see if you were really in it for what he could buy you, or for his own personal qualities. I don't know. When I was younger, a guy had pulled the same sort of thing, only we didn't pick anything out, he said he had ordered me something for Christmas (I didn't ask.) Turns out he never did and he did dump me eventually.
Ometeotl Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 How could a handbag cost $2500? Its made of dinosaur's skin or what? Yes. Forget about the handbag. They cannot define a relationship.... unless you are nutty enough to let them.
Author confused923 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Did he get you anything else for Christmas? Maybe it was a method to take you shopping for a handbag, and for you to see how high of a price of a bag you'd pick out, to see if you were really in it for what he could buy you, or for his own personal qualities. I don't know. When I was younger, a guy had pulled the same sort of thing, only we didn't pick anything out, he said he had ordered me something for Christmas (I didn't ask.) Turns out he never did and he did dump me eventually. No he didn't get me other presents for christmas. What puzzles me is that if a guy doesn't want to buy you a gift or something too expensive, why wouldn't he just say so? Why even bother to spend the time on shopping or pretend to buy you something? I don't understand that kind of behavior.
sweet sugar Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I have to admit that it is strange behavior, like the guy just isn't invested enough to buy a gift for you, but still wants you to think he is by telling you he got you something, like this guy who ordered you the purse. Very very odd, why did he even bother to take you shopping to pick out a handbag at all, like you said? I'm at a loss. Is it still going OK with this man?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 How could a handbag cost $2500? Its made of dinosaur's skin or what? No, more like genuine leather and the method they use to make the bags. Most " designer" bags on the market have a pricing range between 400-2000, unless you're buying a hermes or a limited edition bag, you can run up to around $10-20,000. As to the OP's question I would really like to know whether your bf was the one who suggested a handbag for Xmas. It's really strange that after the credit card incident, he never bought up he issue again. So what DID he get in place of the bag?
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