stupidgurl Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I know a lot of people do internet dating, I have in the past, but it seems that every time I go to a site just to look around, it's the same people from years ago who where there then. Does this mean these poor guys have never gotten anyone to go out with them, that they're players, or that the only guys who are members of these sites are, um, not of the best quality? I'm from what most would consider a small town, college town, and am past college-age so when I go out to bars and places like that, I'm hit on by 20-somethings who, although might be good for a little fun, certainly aren't who I'm hoping to one day meet for any sort of real relationship. I know there are hundreds of eligible men around me, but how the heck do I figure out who and where they are? Thanks!
Jazzari Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I have no idea what the answer to your question is. In my experience on Match, there are lots of new men every day. Then again, my net is cast pretty wide in terms of geographic location. I like the search feature that allows you to be specific about what you're looking for. Looking at new members might be a feature you like also. Have you tried that site? I don't really know alot about other online dating sites.
carhill Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Try different dating sites and also cast a wider net, if the local demographics don't match up with your desires. Unless you live in rural Alaska, searching a radius of fifty miles should return fresh and varied potentials well within 'date-able range'. I met my now exW over a decade ago on such a site and she lived sixty miles away and it was no issue for us at all. Had I (or she) not cast a wider net, we never would have met. Interestingly, I'm seeing a lot more men at grocery stores lately. I'll have to look for wedding rings and form some conclusions. It's easy to strike up a conversation with a man at a grocery store. One potential for 'local'
Seamless74 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Does this mean these poor guys have never gotten anyone to go out with them, that they're players, or that the only guys who are members of these sites are, um, not of the best quality? use the sum of your life experiences and draw your own conclusions... methinks yes. I met my now exW over a decade ago on such a site and she lived sixty miles away and it was no issue for us at all. Had I (or she) not cast a wider net, we never would have met. in hindsight Carhill good thing bad thing??
mo mo Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 dance lessons art shows book readings community service fitness clubs/classes etc. just off the top of my head
carhill Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 in hindsight Carhill good thing bad thing?? No regrets. IMO, the issues of the M had no connection to the distance or methodology of meeting. The same could have occurred with a lady down the street or 10,000 miles away. I see internet 'dating' as a *tool* rather than an end game. It's like a car is a tool and a phone is a tool and this laptop I'm typing on is a tool. I'll watch more closely at the grocery store. I often meet ladies there as well, though I feel men are more easily approached than women are in such circumstances. Also, most of the 'friendly' ones I've encountered are married. No more MW's for me
Eeyore79 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I usually find it's better to meet guys through some sort of hobby; then at least you have something in common! Writing group, dance class, photography society... whatever floats your boat, just join up and look for eligible men
tb24 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 [insert something to do with eggs and baskets] I have an online dating profile. It's pretty much my plan b, but it's good to have But yeah, hobbies are good. Bars/clubs if that's your thing.
carhill Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Hobbies .....I tried that for about 15 years before switching to internet dating. Very limited success. Met a lot of wonderful married people though, some of which who've become lifelong friends. Perhaps it was age-related. I started at around 23 and ended at around 38. The most prevalent hobby was auto racing. IME, most of the ladies who came to watch (I drove) were with their boyfriends or husbands. I did meet a few fellow drivers who were female; they were all married as well. This was grass-roots racing, not celebrity racing like NASCAR, where drivers have 'groupies'. All that said, if the OP does have a hobby she enjoys, certainly be aware of single men who share it. I will offer one suggestion: As a guy who has long been involved in vintage cars (shows, rallies, etc), going to a car show and wandering around looking and asking questions is a great way to meet men. I took my now exW to one huge such show in Anaheim (where she grew up) and her first comment was 'If I had only known when I was younger how many hot single guys went to these shows'. Food for thought.
Author stupidgurl Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Sad thing is, I can be very talkative in public UNTIL I feel I'm interested in someone or whatever... I'm a goofball when I feel like someone is hitting on me. Pitiful, huh?
Seamless74 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Sad thing is, I can be very talkative in public UNTIL I feel I'm interested in someone or whatever... I'm a goofball when I feel like someone is hitting on me. Pitiful, huh? not really id say about 98% of the general populace suffer from that particular affliction as well..
Author stupidgurl Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 not really id say about 98% of the general populace suffer from that particular affliction as well.. Any suggestions to get better, short of taking a shot or a valium?
Jazzari Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Sad thing is, I can be very talkative in public UNTIL I feel I'm interested in someone or whatever... I'm a goofball when I feel like someone is hitting on me. Pitiful, huh?Not necessarily a bad thing. Some guys think that's really cute. Especially if you blush and can laugh about it.
Seamless74 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Honey if I had it... I wouldnt be spending idle time on LS thats for sure... funny though valium always seemed to really help me out back in the day.. I wish i could just go to the doctor and tell him I need a scrip so I can go out and approach random hotties all day... You think that would be sufficient enough?? lol..
forrest Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 you can meet top quality, honest, intelligent, funny men on......LS!!!
refurb Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Quality single men? Haven't you heard, there aren't any left! Sorry!! RF
Author stupidgurl Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 you can meet top quality, honest, intelligent, funny men on......LS!!! How can anyone meet anyone here? Most don't have any information on their profile (some not even gender).
Author stupidgurl Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Speaking of being a goofball.... went to Lowe's tonight and was just looking around. I passed at guy on the far end of the store, turned to the aisle on the right (he turned down the one behind me) and began looking for something. When I got almost to the other end of the aisle, he came up to me and said, "I just had to tell you that you are one beautiful lady." I'm SURE I blushed, but I did manage to thank him. He walked away and I turned back to what I was looking at. It did make me smile (really in need of an ego boost). He was kinda cute so my question to you is - what could I have done other than what I did? To maybe be able to talk to him again? I know a guy most likely isn't going to pursue someone if he doesn't get the "right" response initially, but I don't want to appear easy or desperate or whatever.... Thoughts?
Seamless74 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 wow!! awesome... You have no idea how nervous he probably was.. I mean maybe he wasnt but if not Im sure he would have plowed a little bit longer and at least tried to talk some more.. I dunno maybe you could have said thanks thats real sweet.. what are you doing here tonight??? or something just kinda contribute to the conversation.,. Or taken a more flirty tact and challenge him some by asking How many girls have you said that to today?? Just trying anything to give him something to come back at... Its not easy but at least its real.... unlike online..
smashalasha Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Church, but the only thing is, if you don't go to church or don't want to start, are not a Christian, etc... they won't be the right men for you. And they will mostly be conservative, also. And obviously if you want sex before marriage it's not a good place to look. I tried online dating. All I can seem to attract are tall atheists who love Italian food... No joke. For some serious advice I'd say, talk to your friends, have them invite you to some of their social outings with THEIR friends. Meeting friends of friends is great because, if you like your friend, you'll probably like THEIR friends. And so you may be more likely to hit it off with someone. Also, you will increase your social circle by making NEW friends, who may be able to introduce you to THEIR friends, etc. etc. etc... Basically, start saying YES to every social opportunity you are given. You don't have to say YES to everything forever haha, just until you start meeting new people and finding new things to do, you see? Also, think about your hobbies and passions, get involved with those in the form of classes, groups, clubs, what have you, to meet new people who share your hobbies/passions. That's all I got...
Author stupidgurl Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 wow!! awesome... You have no idea how nervous he probably was.. I mean maybe he wasnt but if not Im sure he would have plowed a little bit longer and at least tried to talk some more.. I dunno maybe you could have said thanks thats real sweet.. what are you doing here tonight??? or something just kinda contribute to the conversation.,. Or taken a more flirty tact and challenge him some by asking How many girls have you said that to today?? Just trying anything to give him something to come back at... Its not easy but at least its real.... unlike online.. Thanks for the tips. I'll keep them in mind. I just hope that the next time (if there is a next time) I won't completely forget them!
forrest Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 How can anyone meet anyone here? Most don't have any information on their profile (some not even gender). why don't you send me a private message and I'll show you how . All joking aside, once you answer that question, "Where to meet quality single men these days?", please work on "Where to meet quality single women these days?" Thanks. Speaking of being a goofball.... went to Lowe's tonight and was just looking around. I passed at guy on the far end of the store, turned to the aisle on the right (he turned down the one behind me) and began looking for something. When I got almost to the other end of the aisle, he came up to me and said, "I just had to tell you that you are one beautiful lady." I'm SURE I blushed, but I did manage to thank him. He walked away and I turned back to what I was looking at. It did make me smile (really in need of an ego boost). He was kinda cute so my question to you is - what could I have done other than what I did? To maybe be able to talk to him again? I know a guy most likely isn't going to pursue someone if he doesn't get the "right" response initially, but I don't want to appear easy or desperate or whatever.... Thoughts? Shoot, and here I was thinking I could find a quality woman at Homedepot. I guess they are all at Lowe's...
LittleTiger Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Stupidgurl, I hope you don't mind, but may I make a suggestion which I truly believe will help? Rejoin LS with a new username. The one you have is doing you no favours and is undermining your self-esteem every time you log on to this site (or any other where you've used a similar name). I don't know you, of course, but I'd be willing to bet you are a lovely person and, as such, you deserve the quality man you are looking for. The thing is, quality men are looking for quality women and (at least on LS) you are advertising yourself as a 'dud'. Learn to love who you are and show the world you are special - from what you've said there are clearly men out there who can see this. The brighter you allow yourself to shine, the easier your beauty will be for 'quality men' (and others) to see. .........and just for info, LS is a great place to meet people, including potential partners. There is currently at least one engaged couple on the site and I'm sure they're not the first or only LS romantic success story. So keep your eyes peeled - you just never know where or when Mr Right is going to appear.
NeoGen85 Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 After I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago I really had to change my attitude on approaching life(not just women). It also gave me time to focus on myself a lot. I decided that I wanted to start doing the things that I LIKE and I got more involved in my own activities. I find that a lot of interest and activity groups are meant for couples rather then single people. So, you'll run into more women and men who are in relationships at particular events. I live in Charleston, South Carolina and I decided to sign up for a club about wine because I don't know #^$@ about it and still don't. But I found more people who were in a relationship at these gatherings then single. Thank God my social circle is stereotypically alone all the time so I know there are women looking. I'm a geek. Let's just say we have evolved over the years. I really had to stick with what I like. I first tried a little social club for gamers. That didn't work out so well because I ran into so many socially awkward people(the kind that let games take over their life). So I thought why not visual arts! Nope. I found myself running into a crowd that didn't want to associate with me. I've always been big into dance; hip-hop specifically(and good at it too). I finally found a small studio to take lessons even though I find myself not learning anything new. My friends always ask me why do I go? Ultimately, it allows me to do something I really enjoy. I'm always the first to arrive and the last to leave. It also fits with my work schedule. What's icing on the cake is that initially I was the only man there. I found myself surrounded by single women between the ages of 21 and 30 who just want to try something new. I'm 25 so HELL YEAH! Some of these women would probably have never approached me in a bar scene, or outside that studio....maybe. In fact because of my own insecurities I actually kept to myself. It wasn't until maybe the third day after a lesson that I learned that many of them were interested in getting to know me(even if it was on a friend to friend basis). In fact, had my first date with one of them last night and I didn't get home until 5am!
Roobin Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 What can you tell me about your experiences with married women, cause I got this one who s driving me crazy, as she is gorgeous just doesn t let go and she doesn t mind when I am around even if her husband is too. A total heart crusher!! lol
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