Hopeful30 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 my ex and I recently got back in touch and I've been seeing him behind the new guy's back. The new guy had cheated on me before when he wanted to "take things slow". In my eyes this means slow, not "open options". He never told me he was seeing his ex. It's funny how the tables have turned because now it seems we are in opposing roles. I told him I want to take things slow, and I am trying to work things out with my ex. It's wrong of me to do this, but if I can work things out with my ex (we broke up for personal issues we both agreed on) then I will go back to him. If it doesn't work out with my ex, then I will stay with the new guy. My ex knows about the new guy and that I'm seeing him, but the new guy has no idea i'm seeing my ex. Nothing justifies cheating. But somehow I don't feel guilty because he had done the same. Is there a point in telling the new guy? SIDENOTE: New Guy is exclusive with me now. I am settling for him because I am bored and he is a "back up". He doesn't seem to care much about our relationship so I have developed the same level or carelessness, which is why I question if what i'm doing is really cheating or not. In my opinion, if you have to lie about it, then it's cheating.
mo mo Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If he is a back up then you must not really like him that much. It is unfair for you to hang on to him while you try to work on your ex. What he did to you wasn't right either, but that doesn't justify your actions, especially since he thinks you are exclusive.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 my ex and I recently got back in touch and I've been seeing him behind the new guy's back. The new guy had cheated on me before when he wanted to "take things slow". In my eyes this means slow, not "open options". He never told me he was seeing his ex. It's funny how the tables have turned because now it seems we are in opposing roles. I told him I want to take things slow, and I am trying to work things out with my ex. Great, you have sucked yourself down to his level when you should have just dumped him. Are you that desperate to just "have a man"? Don't let crappy people drag you down. Fight it! Rise Above!
Author Hopeful30 Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) If he is a back up then you must not really like him that much. It is unfair for you to hang on to him while you try to work on your ex. What he did to you wasn't right either, but that doesn't justify your actions, especially since he thinks you are exclusive. I thought we were exclusive too when he did the same to me. You are right, it doesn't justify what I am doing but I just can't feel guilty about it. And believe me i've tried. I haven't dumped him because if he thinks its okay to try and work things out with an ex while dating someone new, then that means that it must be okay for me to do it too. Am I wrong to assume that? Edited January 17, 2011 by Hopeful30
refurb Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I'm going to make a bold prediction here: Your life is going to be very difficult and mostly due to your own actions. RF
Woggle Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Just dump both of them and work on yourself. Nothing good can come of this trainwreck.
mo mo Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I thought we were exclusive too when he did the same to me. You are right, it doesn't justify what I am doing but I just can't feel guilty about it. And believe me i've tried. I haven't dumped him because if he thinks its okay to try and work things out with an ex while dating someone new, then that means that it must be okay for me to do it too. Am I wrong to assume that? Yes you are wrong. I also agree with refurb.
dispatch3d Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 can't justify negativity with negativity. Cheating ain't good, regardless of the circumstances.
january2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 "Love people, not things; use things, not people" comes to mind. He cheated on you and so you cheat on him. Yet, you don't even want him. What's the point?
Lauriebell82 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Just dump both of them and work on yourself. Nothing good can come of this trainwreck. Yeah, I would agree with this. If you think you need to back the ex up, then the relationship probably isn't all that promising. If you are bored with new guy, and need to fill the void with the ex, then you are essentially using him as a little play toy, and that's not nice either. You are not being fair to either of these men. Yes, your ex cheated, but two wrongs don't make a right. I think you need to be a alone and get some closure from the ex. Heal yourself.
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