Please Help!!!

[cordova527]

Hello my name is Mike, I'm 17 years old and my ex g/f is 18. Her name is Janet.

 

We were dating for about 2 1/2 years. Every now and then we would have a fight, but I feel as if we were such a great couple. She slept over my house on the weekends, and we did really romantic things, we always talked about getting married and our future together. Things were going smoothly until about 2 months ago.

 

She called me up from a friends house saying she wanted to be single because she just wasn't happy. Well, about 4 days later she had a new b/f, I was devastated. This girl told me she loved me and then goes and leaves me for another guy.

 

I did everything to get her back, and the whole time she was with the kid she told me she still loved me. They didn't have sex or anything, so she says. But about 3 weeks later I find myself someone new.

 

Things just weren't the same. We hooked up, (no sex). I didnt wanna because I loved Janet. Well, Janet calls me about 3 days later after I meet the girl bawling her eyes out, saying how much she loves me, and how she just can't live without me. I'm the only guy she ever wants and how shes so happy with me.

 

So, I tell her to come over and we talk. We talked about what made our relationship go wrong, and what we could do to fix it. I asked her if she was positive if I was what she wanted; her face lit up like the fourth of July, and she was just like, "yes!!!!"

 

We got back together. About 2 weeks later we get into an argument. Every day she's over, all she did was talk on her cell phone to her friend Deanna, and I got mad. So I sat her down and asked her if she could please stop talking to her so much while she's over to my house because its rude, and it just started a war.

 

We argued, and happened so we both stormed out. Well she said it was over and its been a week now and I haven't talked to her. Except the other day I had an away message up online and she im'ed me saying it was so sweet. She also claims to her friends she doesnt wanna go back to me, she wants to be single.

 

Well heres the bad news. I just found out she's been lying behind my back and cheated on me. I hate smoking weed, and she says she does to. She says the only time she's ever done it was with that kid she left me for, and she hated it.

 

Well, I find out she did it all last summer with her friends while she was away in Massachusetts. And she made out with some guy too. So I call her up and ask her all of the things and she says yes she smoked weed, and yes she kissed the kid but it was a huge mistake, blah blah...

 

My question is, what do I do? I mean, I love this girl more than anything in this world. I practically watched her grow up and I wanna watch her grow old.

 

Do I accept her back if she comes back next time, do I fight for her back? Do I let her go? If she says her cheating and lying was a mistake then I can believe her, and try to foget about it and wish it never happens again, but do you think she loves me like she says?

[calithin83]

this is crazy...if she loves u why would she lie to u? why would she leave u for another guy???/ did u ever make her feel unwanted or where u always there for her??? i loved my bf alot and i woul;d NEVER EVER leave him for another guy...i think that if u lvoe someone u show them and also ure not interested in another guys./......she seems to be kinda playing with ure feelings..but i really dont know...i say u just stop making her know that u love her so much, show her more indifference and pretend that u dont care as much..maybe then she can realize what a sweetheart u r!!!

[cordova527]

Well i decided to take the time and think things over and came to my answer. I really love this girl and if she claims what she did was a mistake, then I'm willing to put things behind into the past and start over. So I send Janet roses and she thanks me. We talked on Monday and have a huge discussion. She tells me she wants to work out things and is serious about getting back together. She gives me a plan and says she wants to hang out everyday to work out our problems then get back together sometime next week

 

Well it's Tuesday, and guess what? Janet calls and tells me she doesn't wanna work on things because things won't work out, shes sorry blah blah blah.

Well that night we talk and I ask her why shes doing this and she says she doesn't wanna hurt me anymore, she doesnt wanna watch me fall apart. And I tell her what shes doing is making me fall apart. Well I tell her im truly willing to work on things and she should be grateful I am because no other guy would accept her apology. If im so great like she claims then she should charish me. And I talk her into it and she tells me she just needs time to think about us, just give her some time. She says she truly loves me and I tell her if she loves me so much then be with me, because if u dont then your just gonna say, What if?

 

Well I suppose I'm going to sit things out and wait for her even though shes basically playin head games with me. Whats your output on this situation? What do you think I should do?

[Renee]

I think you are both too young to make a real commitment, but I think you love each other a lot. Once all the drama settles down, I am sure you will know more about her and your own feelings. Sounds like you guys can't really live without each other, but can't live with each other either. She seems to be in an experimental stage. That doesn't mean she's a bad person or that she doesn't love you, just restless and trying to find her own identity, doesn't want to feel controlled. Give it time. Stray from arguing, and try to be her friend. You never know what could happen. It is best not to push because that just pushes the person away instead of bringing them closer to you. Many first loves end up together a few years later, once they mature and find out who they are. Kindness is the key, but don't be a whimp either. Girls don't really like guys who let them walk all over them. She has to come to you. Women like the strong and silent type the best, but with the intensity of loving eyes and arms.