carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 If you have a car and can drive, why not go to the doc's office and 'surprise' him by picking him up? If he's not there, that's an answer. If he's there, process whatever response he has to your presence as being supportive. The challenge is being proactive; the support is accepting his response.
Author tinktronik Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 If you have a car and can drive, why not go to the doc's office and 'surprise' him by picking him up? If he's not there, that's an answer. If he's there, process whatever response he has to your presence as being supportive. The challenge is being proactive; the support is accepting his response. I have my own appointment today, which he is well aware of, but I will pop into his doctor's to see if he is there or not.
carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Ah, baby check? Hope everything goes well! Any luck finding meds? Before I began manually dispensing meds, I had my mom on an automated dispenser (she called it the flying saucer) and, if she didn't take them, I could easily see what doses were missed and adjust as appropriate. With psych meds, keeping those plasma levels up in a consistent manner appears to be critical. When I saw that self-medicating lost its efficacy, I knew time for placement wasn't far off. Your situation is different, with the commonality being the medications are central to continued mental health. Hopefully, some way of dealing with this can be worked out.
Author tinktronik Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Ah, baby check? Hope everything goes well! Any luck finding meds? Before I began manually dispensing meds, I had my mom on an automated dispenser (she called it the flying saucer) and, if she didn't take them, I could easily see what doses were missed and adjust as appropriate. With psych meds, keeping those plasma levels up in a consistent manner appears to be critical. When I saw that self-medicating lost its efficacy, I knew time for placement wasn't far off. Your situation is different, with the commonality being the medications are central to continued mental health. Hopefully, some way of dealing with this can be worked out. Yes, it has to do with blood serum levels. His meds will only work properly if his blood serum stays peaked above X point. I have not found his med stash though and I have looked everywhere it seems. At this point, the last few days, he is ranting and raving about his choice to take his meds vs. not take his meds. and his right to dispense his meds to himself as he sees fit. It's all manic BS really. He's right, he does have a right to take them vs. not take them, but not to have the benefit of me in his life and not to have me paying the cost for his choices. He seems to only recognize his own mental "irrationality" in the darkest and most desperate times for him. However you look at it, over the last year he has seen fit to lie about his medication status instead of being honest about how he was taking his meds because he knew it was not acceptable to me or others around him. Regardless, I will check into what I can, like seeing if he is at his appointment and trying my very best to make sure he is getting his meds, even if it means getting ahold of them and administering them myself.
carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 OK, keep looking. You wouldn't believe some of the places my mom stashed hers. I was still finding them when prepping the house for tenants two years after placing her. Also, if you can check online or with the pharmacy, see when his next refill is available. Guile and deceit...... like I said, depending on your dedication to this relationship, you might have to do some things you find distasteful. I wouldn't presume to make that call or even strongly suggest it. Like the dementia team told me, when you've seen one patient, you've seen one patient. Every person and circumstance is unique. Oh, just thought of something... Can you call the doctor's office and check to see if he's there, something like 'xxxx has an appointment at xxxx and I'm his wife and he wanted me to pick him up when he was finished and he forgot his phone. Is he there?" Nothing in HIPAA precludes them from saying he's on the premises, AFAIK. The clear method I learned, and it was hard for me as a man to do this, was to approach issues tangentially, instead of head-on. Like I said, guile and deceit.
Author tinktronik Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 So I stopped into his docs and he was there. I went off to my baby appointment and found I have lost all but 4 pounds of pregnancy weight in 3 weeks. That's a lot of weight to lose and my doc is stumped. My SO returned with meds and I watched him take them, they knocked him right out (they can take a while to adjust to). He's sleeping now and I'm exhausted. I start a new round of meds myself tomorrow for skin infection stuff-- once this baby is out I am going to have the biggest glass of wine ever. Tomorrow is another day.
carhill Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Today was a good day. Mission accomplished. One day at a time
Author tinktronik Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Today was a good day. Mission accomplished. One day at a time We've had another day of med compliance. He is mostly just passed out asleep. It should be this way up to 2 weeks in when his body starts adjusting to the meds. Lithium is really hard on the body. During his waking hours he seems pretty temperament stable, thank god. I had a nice quiet day, no work to be done today, no appointments, the house is clean. I got like 15 packages of baby clothes in the mail, so that's exciting!
Author tinktronik Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 You're a helluva woman Tink... Thanks AC. It's really hard to see that when I feel such a mess.
Author tinktronik Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 He's awake and in a good mood. He made breakfast, only toast and coffee but still, a good sign.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I am very happy and relieved to hear this. I hope the compliance goes on for a long time. Do you have friends and family around who can help you feel taken care of somewhat during this time? I hope so.
GospolBlues Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 My Brother is Bipolar and when he is off his meds he is a complete nut case.Why he gose on and off his meds is strange becouse he is such a great guy when he is taking his meds.He got divorced becouse of always going off his meds.He is like 2 completly different peopol,one side as nice as you can be when taking his meds and on the other side he is insane when not.Good luck.
edgeofdarkness Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 You're a helluva woman Tink... i hv to say reading the thread, i agree, totally. jeesh, I dunno why u not buried him in the garden yet, i no I would. the dude is so lucky to hv a woman like u, hope once he gets straight, he sees this, what a jerk. sorry, I know u must love him loads, but he's still a jerk.
Author tinktronik Posted February 11, 2011 Author Posted February 11, 2011 Things are somewhat looking up. We went and got a 2 month refill on meds today. SO is taking them regularly and letting me count whenever I want. We picked up a M-F med counter that dispenses everyday on a timer and this seems to help as it rings a bell when it's time for meds. His blood work came back and it turns out he has something called pernicious anemia, which is caused by a type of vitamin deficiency that can directly effect the brain's functions. He will have to start taking daily injections. His tests also showed that his testosterone level is below that of a pre-pubescent boy. That could explain the lack of interest in sex, as well as in other drivers in his life. So he will be put on a testosterone patch to see how that works out. Maybe the bi-polar disorder will ease up or be more easily managed once we get some of his other medical issues worked out. On a good note, he has independent of me, landed some work composing and scoring a TV feature. Amazing! All I can do is step aside and hope he follows through on it. On my side, baby-to-be is doing well. She has changed awake at day to awake at night so if I want to feel her moving around I have to wake up in the middle of the night and poke at her. I'm doing okay, struggling through court with my exH (he has decided to try for a cash grab before baby-to-be arrives) and that is probably what i am most stressed out about right now. The whole attorneys, court, judges, awaiting court, continuance cycle is uber stressful. My love of food has never before reached this unprecedented level of interest. Maybe I'm a stress eater? I'm taking long, hot baths and eating citrus as an effort to decrease my anxiety. My SO and I started couples therapy last week. It was awkward but we will go again, if for nothing else but for the jokes we had after the fact.
spiderowl Posted February 12, 2011 Posted February 12, 2011 I am really sorry to hear what's happened. You didn't really know what to expect from him and he was complying with the meds so you hadn't yet seen this type of situation. I don't know about your partner's bi-polar, how bad it gets and so on. I do know of a friend who has bi-polar. His wife left him, he has a series of broken relationships behind him. He doesn't like the meds, partly because they have horrible side-effects so that's understandable, but partly because he doesn't get the highs. For him, after the depression, the highs are wonderful and a release. Unfortunately, for any partner, the highs signal the start of endless trouble, embarrassment and fears for his and others' safety (he drives all over the place and VERY fast!). He simply does not see what the problem is when he is high. Other people are the problem, they are mean and trying to spoil his fun. They are also unreasonable and the things he does when he's high are fine to him. They are not fine to his ex and family nor are they reasonable. What can I say, other than that you have to draw a line and tell him it's the meds or me. He's not likely to be very reasonable and may well lead you a merry dance. You have every right to be upset that he does not care that you are inconvenienced. His lack of interest in your predicament is because he is totally involved in his own unusual mental state. You have to be selfish here or you will end up forever rescuing him from the messes he gets himself and you into. I've seen it, I know it happens. Meds do help, but they have their side-effects and dangers and sufferers know it. They help, at a price. Roll on the day when meds for bi-polar help sufferers without making them ill into the bargain.
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