darran Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) So, NC for 3 days... today I got a call from ex... initially it started off as "how do we sort this money out" and ended up for almost 2 hours just talking... yep, talking and laughing and even flirting a bit... wtf?? Anyway, we chatted about the past, in detail... both of us had a lot to say. Then after that she said she'd unblock me, I did ask had she blocked me... and yeah, she blocked me on everything lol. Just to move on apparently. I really wasn't that bad. So after we spoke for a while about the past I let her vent. After her venting I asked her to show a bit of respect as I have had a hard time and I have actually been trying to make things better for myself so stop bringing up the past and how "bad" I was to her... I told her it's not right as you know very well there were many good times we spent together so stop throwing things in my face. It's pointless and we always end up arguing over it. She agreed and then a very strange thing happened. We kinda run out of what to say about our old relationship!!! For the first time we have PROPERLY spoke in 3.5 months we actually had nothing left to say about the past. Pretty weird if you ask me as that was basically what we generally ended up talking about till one of us had enough and got off the line. (excluding the occasional times we were grand) So we ended up spending an hour and half talking about just everything and anything. She said she'd call to my house next Thursday to collect money, again... a first as she was adamant not to meet before. I agreed and said right we'll do that once and if it doesn't bode well then we'll do the bank transfer instead. She agreed. She is still with this guy... he didn't leave her, he left to go overseas for a month to work. So that was a misunderstanding. Anyway, she said she saw my status and said she thought I was happy... I asked "what status" as I don't update any status... I was confused. But anyway, she started asking about my love life. I told her I have met someone but I'm just keeping it fun... which was the truth and NO it was NOT a game play... I genuinely didn't fill her in too many details. She did ask have I slept with her, I didn't want to talk about that so said, in a non confrontational way "sure you are with someone ffs, gimme a break!!". She then said "so you have!!!!!" and started saying "good, good..." then asked me her name and what she looked like. I was just telling her and I couldn't believe it but she started getting really upset, I was like what's the matter you? Sure you are with someone and I have had to deal with that so stop getting upset... she said I just described her and to be honest, yea, the girl I am kinda whatever with is similar to her in appearance and her name starts with the same letter! I didn't even notice. Anyway, after that passed she started talking about her work and other stuff in general. Then started talking about hypothetically being back together etc... like what we would do and what not... well more like what I would do and what would be different. I was not giving too much away and I just had a good laugh with her over hypothetically getting back together again. Anyway, she is still with this guy. Still talks about him just a little too much as if its exaggerated. However, I am not sure. She will contact me again, I just need to kind of know how to do handle it for proper reconnection. I know I am in NC and she broke it and I will not break it no matter what. I know we had for the first time in 3.5 months a conversation which was great, fun and a lot of things got cleared during it. I have read that to regain her trust and respect back I have to respect myself, which I did, and respect her. I did not grovel or agree with all her comments but I did show her respect and did not disrespect her desire to be with this new guy. I am not sure what went down. But it was positive as we left each other smiling... and as I'm typing this she has just popped online, MSN... Edited January 17, 2011 by darran
Author darran Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 ok... she just MSN'd me "It was nice 2 chat 2 ya properly! "
Author darran Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 (edited) ok... she just MSN'd me "It was nice 2 chat 2 ya properly! :)" Now she's talking to me again on MSN! hmmm.... **edit** She started talking to me proper again on MSN, kind of... I cant explain... this is all a bit much. I just said, "right have to get my stuff ready. heading to gym sure speak soon" Edited January 17, 2011 by darran
Author darran Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 sounds like I'm going on about this... anyone any advice or insight? thanks you all!
Movingthrough Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Well im sure people will chime in and say the same thing (this happened to me too). The best thing i read on here was this when it comes to talking to an ex.."If she is with someone then she is not available, its that simple". She has a guy, he is overseas (ive been there) there is no point to talk to her. Unless you want to move in for a hook up go ahead, but she is probably jus bored and wants someone to talk too. Does she still have feelings for you? Yep, i would put money on it, but just like you i was the "bad guy" and nothing good was ever mentioned that i did, so in all reality, all you can do is fix yourself and move on. Talking to her here and there isnt going to do anything, and one day she will drop off the the face of the earth again (when he gets home) and you will be back on here! Been there man, and im still there, check out my post about the power of NC. Easier said then done, but it sounds like you need to do some full NC.
Author darran Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Movingthrough, She called me yesterday and told me "I loved you that much I would have married you, but you hurt me that much I cant come back". That was like salt in an open wound. She also asked to meet me today at 2. I said look, normally I'd have jumed at the chance but I really wouldn't like to meet up, talk s**t and walk away and nothing come from it. I want us to make up and work things out but if thats what you really don't want to do then we shouldn't meet up.
Author darran Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 also thanks man for shedding bit of light
Author darran Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 just turned down another offer to meet. until the "other guy" is out of the picture then I aint gonna meet.
Author darran Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 ok...so she text me last night saying she's just going to end it with everyone lol. that she's sorry for doing what she did bla bla... still no "I want to work things out" tho why the hell do girls who dumped a guy do this stuff to the one's they dumped!!!!!!!
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