angelboots Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 like some pathetic toy as an act to win back hes ex wife (they were separated for three yrs when we started dating) For a whole year he played me and lead me on!!! I just found out and i am still processing this information. The whole time we were together he had a splinter in hes heart over her, she cheated on him and in the end revoked hes sponsership to reside there even though it meant him having to move back here to Ausralia away from their children... (he is Australian, she is Canadian n they meet while he was on holiday, married a few months later and had two kids in the space of three years before she left him for someone else (allegedly)) What i dont get.. cant get my head around.. is that i fell completely in love with him.. and in some respects i still AM in love with him, but that he didnt feel the same way yet dragged me along for a year promising me the world all the while playing me like a chess peice to get her back.. that is devastating to me. what am I lacking?? why wasnt i good enough? I am always told i am pretty, kind, sweet, smart, funny and down to earth. People genuinely like me, respect me and seek out my company. If i am so great then tell me what did i do wrong to deserve to be used like that? my self esteem is at an all time low. Also how is it possible to love someone so much, yet be so disposable to the one you love. I hurt right now. sorry i know i am rambling but ouch
AC06 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 You're lacking absolutely nothing. He is lacking the qualities of a decent human being. Is that you in the avatar?
Author angelboots Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 yes thats me in my avatar. I do know deep down its not me as an individual.. but i cant help that those thoughts keep plaguing me at this point. self pity party of one here atm. I just could never personally imagine leading someone on for a year as a game tactic. so i find it hard to understand why he didnt set me free earlier instead of justifying to himself why he was using me for so long. And he played some BIG games. breaking up sucks, even more so when you realize the person you loved was fake.
lovesparis Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 my relationship was not as long as yours but my now ex-bf began dating me while he was still in love with his ex wife (i'm actually questioning whether they are really divorced or he was just calling her his ex wife) and i'm thinking part of it was to get him over her, and part of it was to make her hurt/jealous/win her back. which apparently he did... since he left me for her. i'm having my own pity party, angel; but it's not us, it IS them. there isn't anything wrong with us that makes them do that... the only thing wrong with "us" is that we love them.
Author angelboots Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 yeah my guy wasn't divorced yet and used the excuse i cant afford it right now, but figuring she (he ex) had a partner.. which she did the whole time.. i thought nothing more of it. I should have clicked to that fact... not divorced means relationship not over. No matter how long they are apart. It has sunk in a bit better since the first post earlier tonight but my self esteem has taken a blow. I really genuinely loved this guy, thought he was the one, we both seemed so a like and i felt like i had met my match... but i would never use someone like that and drag out the deception the way he did. So obviously we arent that a like after all. I hope karma kicks him fair in the balls at this point lol but she being who she is, i think they suit each other. I give it less then six months knowing them both as well as i do now. He already tried for a FWB call a couple of nights ago which i declined and scoffed at.. and this was BEFORE i found out tonight he is meant to be with her... that says a lot about him in my eyes now. ' Mr wants what he cant have..
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 You lack nothing sweetie.It isn't really about you it's about him!What an ass that he did this to you don't blame yourself.I know there's someone out there better for you!
Kansas Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 You deserve so much better than this. Life takes care of people. That's what I keep telling myself. It always seem like the a-holes skip through life on the backs of the kind and caring.
Author angelboots Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 amen to that sadly. i need to go NC again.. he wants to maintain flirty contact behind her back ~ what the hell is with that. He must be a habitual cheater or worse and i refuse to be someones other woman. I deserve to be someones ONLY woman, the same way the man i love becomes my ONLY man. Ive never been a cheater.. i wont be the hidden cake in the closet for some other douche bag low life.. besides if he will use me to get back with her.. then try to use me as an ego stroke or sex toy once he actually HAS her back .. how is that someone i could ever truly WANT to be with. well thats the logical side.. the emotional side just hurts again
YellowShark Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 You are correct. You are simply a source that feeds his ego. End of story. Walk away, you are better than a source that feeds a serial cheaters ego. Best of luck.
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