ech Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I can't figure out if my bf of 2 years is just very overly "private" or if he is hiding stuff from me? I go to his house every other weekend, and I don't really "snoop" around. Although I want to:rolleyes: But he would FLIP out if he caught me. I asked him for his email address this week, and he got all weird. Then FINALLY gave it to me. If he is outside he makes sure I come out with him. Says he doesnt want me "creepin". If I wake up at night, he wakes up to and asks "where" I was. Maybe its a "control" thing. I dont know. He's a cop and people say cops are overly private people, which I have noticed that he does shred EVERYTHING he gets ect...stuff like that, but as far as ME, I just don't get it. I feel like either he is hiding something or ???? He did leave me alone there one night when he got called out, but since then, he doesnt want me alone there. And after 2 years you think I would have a key to his house. His best friend does. But I don't. I live an hour away, and there are times I have to drive around for a few hours until he gets home to open the door! When I asked why I dont have a key, he just dodged it and said, that wont happen again;)
Nexus One Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I have noticed that he does shred EVERYTHING he gets ect...stuff like that Some people do that to prevent identity theft. There are actually people out there that go through other people's trash and look for identity details. For the rest of his behavior I can't give you an explanation, because I don't know what his motives are for that. Maybe he's afraid you find his porn collection?
Jazzari Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I can't figure out if my bf of 2 years is just very overly "private" or if he is hiding stuff from me? I go to his house every other weekend, and I don't really "snoop" around. Although I want to:rolleyes: But he would FLIP out if he caught me. I asked him for his email address this week, and he got all weird. Then FINALLY gave it to me. If he is outside he makes sure I come out with him. Says he doesnt want me "creepin". If I wake up at night, he wakes up to and asks "where" I was. Maybe its a "control" thing. I dont know. He's a cop and people say cops are overly private people, which I have noticed that he does shred EVERYTHING he gets ect...stuff like that, but as far as ME, I just don't get it. I feel like either he is hiding something or ???? He did leave me alone there one night when he got called out, but since then, he doesnt want me alone there. And after 2 years you think I would have a key to his house. His best friend does. But I don't. I live an hour away, and there are times I have to drive around for a few hours until he gets home to open the door! When I asked why I dont have a key, he just dodged it and said, that wont happen again;) If he doesn't trust you after 2 years, he never will. But....does he have reason to mistrust you? Has he ever caught you snooping?
Questionis Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I can't do stuff like that. You should know his password to his online bank by now. I may be paranoid but he could be hiding something major... Hope he doesn't bring children home and say he found them on the doorstep. Does he spend a lot of time in the basement? Do you hear strange noises at night?
Lucky555 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 really odd if you ask me. i live about an hour away from my guy too. The guy will leave me in his place alone. The guy will let me go into his cabinets to make my food and drinks. The guy will leave me alone if he has to go into work. My guy purposely lets me see who is texting or calling him if someone does when im around. Usually he doesnt take phone calls but as he has become comfortable he now takes them and lets me hear everything! I don't snoop through my guys things but in general he doesn't mind me into his stuff, using his stuff, or anything else really. We have been together for only 2 months. I think there is something wrong with your guy not letting u in the house alone...If i were you I would say...Why dont you want me in your house alone or leaving the bed alone?? Maybe he has some trauma?? I have no clue but if i leave the bed I do and the guy doesn't question, usually I do say thought when im getting up i say "got to go the bathroom" "im really craving this going to make some". Its only because I'm usually cuddling with him
Nexus One Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 You should know his password to his online bank by now. No she doesn't. Nobody, man or woman, should ever feel pressured to give their banking details, ever. One could open a mutual bank account with a mutual debit card for convenience and every now and then put some money on that account. But access to the motherload? No way. Both men and women need to be careful with this.
joeLove Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Maybe he works for the CIA or is a spy ... who knows? Sounds to me like, you need a conversation about some of this stuff ...
JohnnyBlaze Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 He's a cop... He's a cop. There's your 42; your answer to everything. Dating a cop isn't like dating an accountant. On or off shift, twenty-four/seven, three-sixty-five, he's five-oh. As I'm sure you have realized, when you got involved with him, you entered a whole new world with its own set of rules. One of those rules is that anyone who isn't a cop isn't to be completely trusted. It's for your own protection as much as it is his. In time, he may trust you more, but that's never a guarantee. Talking with him may change things, but I doubt it. Sorry to say, but from what I gather, your only two options are either to accept the world you've gotten involved in, or get out. And for the record, no, I'm not a cop. However, I have known one or two over the years, and I live in an equally closed society, so I do understand where they're coming from.
Author ech Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Thanks everyone....as far as hiding his porn collection lol, No I know exactly where that is, he doesnt hide that;) And I think your right it comes with the cop thing, he just does not trust anyone, but you would think he would trust me, he says he wants to be with me forever. He is very wierd about his phone. He has a work one and a private one, and takes them everywhere. Even to the bathroom with him! I asked him if he had any ex's numbers in them and he said no, just his ex wife. So hmmmm I dont know!
baguette Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 (edited) Sounds pretty weird. Try to discuss it with him, but don't expect him to change. Then you need to make a decision about whether or not you enjoy this lifestyle. Edited January 18, 2011 by baguette
Questionis Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No she doesn't. Nobody, man or woman, should ever feel pressured to give their banking details, ever. Both men and women need to be careful with this. I was just saying that as an example, but seriously I know the pin number for my two close friends' bank cards. They know mine! I often get up and leave them in my house all day with my keys. They know my passwords for my email etc That's the thing, you shouldn't feel pressured, you do it cos you want to and because you are confident that you have made the right choice in that person. I can't understand why guys can sleep with someone on a regualr basis but not trust them. How does that work?
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