Duckduckgoose Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Good for you. Enjoy. My favorite part of an early relationship is getting to know a person. People are complex and there are many layers to a person. Have fun peeling his layers Onions have layers, cake has layers and parfait has layers too Got that from Shrek. And gratz! I hope you and this guy work out!
sweetjasmine Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Congrats, OG! I hope you guys enjoy getting to know each other and getting closer. I hope this works out well for you.
donnamaybe Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Congratulations, OG! Is this the "friends first" guy, or someone else? Sorry - I'm sure I've missed some threads/posts that probably already hold the answer to this...
tigressA Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Congratulations, OG! Is this the "friends first" guy, or someone else? Sorry - I'm sure I've missed some threads/posts that probably already hold the answer to this... Yes, it is the friends first guy. Congrats, OG!
donnamaybe Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Yes, it is the friends first guy. Congrats, OG! Thanks! I'm really happy to hear this worked out. Not because I was wanting the guy to be given a chance in that thread about his greeting in his OKC account. The reason is that, although there were some things that made OG wonder about certain aspects of his personality, she waited it out and gave him an opportunity to show her more of himself before she made a knee jerk decision. OG, I think that shows a lot of growth. I hope that doesn't sound condescending - it's not meant to. I'm a HELLUVA lot older than you, so if I sound like a mom - well, I think my son is probably close to your age. lol It's just that finding a decent R depends on a lot more than first sight meetings and first impressions and the assumptions that come with them. Good for you OG. Have fun with this. You deserve it!
Star Gazer Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 That's great news, OG! You wasted no time adding him to you avatar either! He's pretty cute!!
xpaperxcutx Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Woohoo! Wow you guys look CUTE together! He looks like a keeper
Confusedalways Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Wow! So nice to read good news for you- you've gone through a lot to find a good guy. I'm looking forward to reading updates on / about him!
westrock Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Congratulations and wishing you much happiness!
Author OceanGirl Posted January 19, 2011 Author Posted January 19, 2011 Oh wow, I was afraid to visit this thread because I was worried people will be negative - but I am so glad I was wrong. Thanks guys - you are very sweet The avatar was only temporary N_sky - I only saw your compliments now and thanks they mean a lot to me. Things are going really well. We are in daily contact (few times a day actually) and he initiates most of it. I just got off 1-hour long phone conversation with him. There is no guessing if he is into me or not His words and actions are completely consistent. I am not even tempted to act "crazy" because he doesn't trigger my anxieties. I decided to tell my mum because she saw me yesterday and told me that I looked like I was glowing lol I downplayed it quite a bit though and said that I have been on a few dates with someone and we will see what happens. I also told a couple of co-workers because they commented that I looked really happy. This guy is so intuitive about me. I confided in him about some problems with my boss at work. He said right away "you sound like you had or have feelings for that guy"..Anyway I told him I had a small crush but nothing ever happened and it's all in the past. And yes - this is the friends first guy (I almost didn't meet him because of it!). Turns out things developed rather quickly with us We have plans to spend most of Saturday and Sunday together.
Art_Critic Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 This guy is so intuitive about me. I confided in him about some problems with my boss at work. He said right away "you sound like you had or have feelings for that guy"..Anyway I told him I had a small crush but nothing ever happened and it's all in the past. Tread carefully OG on the boss territory.. Don't let a crush and something you did a while ago affect this new budding relationship.. If you throw any red flags and they add up that can spell disaster. From now on don't tell him any more about your boss until you have been together a LONG time (6+months) and you can speak about them without any emotion. Good Luck
carhill Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Great advice, Art... OP, it's nice to read your mum noticed your glow. It's wonderful to put a smile on a parent's face, especially at this time. Things can work out. Take care
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Oh wow, I was afraid to visit this thread because I was worried people will be negative - but I am so glad I was wrong. Thanks guys - you are very sweet I truly believe that regardless of the personalities involved, almost all the people here honestly wish for the best for one another. The fact that you are allowing yourself to "be in the moment" with this guy and that you are ALLOWING yourself to "glow" is a pretty big deal. I hope you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, live what's really happening, and continue to enjoy a good thing that life has brought your way. I was thinking about your concern regarding his intelligence, and someone saying that it was quite valid if you preferred highly intelligent guys. My conclusion was this: Of course it's a valid preference, but (IMO) only insofar as his intelligence actually affects your relationship. I mean, just having a partner who possesses a high IQ doesn't really mean much. Having a partner with whom you can have enjoyable, stimulating conversations DOES. If a guy was so much dumber than you (or otherwise out of sync) that you could not talk with him without being bored out of your mind, that would definitely signal a problem From what we know so far, this is not a problem with your guy. And, I think you two look really good together, too.
northern_sky Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 (edited) I truly believe that regardless of the personalities involved, almost all the people here honestly wish for the best for one another. The fact that you are allowing yourself to "be in the moment" with this guy and that you are ALLOWING yourself to "glow" is a pretty big deal. I hope you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, live what's really happening, and continue to enjoy a good thing that life has brought your way. I was thinking about your concern regarding his intelligence, and someone saying that it was quite valid if you preferred highly intelligent guys. My conclusion was this: Of course it's a valid preference, but (IMO) only insofar as his intelligence actually affects your relationship. I mean, just having a partner who possesses a high IQ doesn't really mean much. Having a partner with whom you can have enjoyable, stimulating conversations DOES. If a guy was so much dumber than you (or otherwise out of sync) that you could not talk with him without being bored out of your mind, that would definitely signal a problem From what we know so far, this is not a problem with your guy. And, I think you two look really good together, too. My response to this post isn't related to OG's relationship, which seems to be going swimmingly so far, but to clarify what I meant when I responded to your post in another thread about this. I agree that intelligence only matters insofar as it affects a relationship. That's why I personally prioritize it in a mate, because I've been in relationships with men who were less intelligent, and I got bored during our conversations. With smarter men I am more likely to have a partner with whom to share my 'geeky' interests like reading, visiting museums, going to art galleries, dissecting movies. I think whether people are compatible intelligence wise can actually have a *huge* impact on the quality of their relationship. It's not like I pull out some IQ test on our first date. I don't even care so much about education level and I'm not generally impressed by degrees, as long as they're articulate. Intelligence isn't the only factor of course, and it's probably less important than kindness and loyalty. Like a lot of traits, I consider it necessary but not sufficient. From what OG has said since that other thread, her bf's braininess hasn't affected their connection or her enthusiasm. But in general, intelligence is a perfectly valid trait to consider for many women. EDIT: forgot to mention that even studies have shown that compatible intelligence levels in a relationship have a significant effect on whether the relationship lasts. Edited January 19, 2011 by northern_sky
zengirl Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Wow, OG. Good deal. Just let it flow naturally, and I have a feeling you're in for a great ride. But in general, intelligence is a perfectly valid trait to consider for many women. Interesting points. I will say: Intelligence seems valid, just as attractiveness does. IQ numbers seem shallow, just as wanting specific measurements in a mate would. That's how I see it. However, none of that applies to OG, who I'm very happy for.
northern_sky Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 Wow, OG. Good deal. Just let it flow naturally, and I have a feeling you're in for a great ride. Interesting points. I will say: Intelligence seems valid, just as attractiveness does. IQ numbers seem shallow, just as wanting specific measurements in a mate would. That's how I see it. However, none of that applies to OG, who I'm very happy for. Right, my point is that it's not at all about IQ. I actually don't put much stock in IQ tests anyway. It's about the quality of conversation, intellectual connection and shared interests...at least for me.
northern_sky Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 I don't even care so much about education level and I'm not generally impressed by degrees, as long as they're articulate. just noticed the awkward grammar here. should be: as long as the guys are articulate (not the degrees).
Kamille Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 To cite my favorite clown: "One day someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else." hehehe Very happy for you Ocean!
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