Viva Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 In my family, everyone has always looked at my brother as the 'late' one. He was the only cousin to my family to be a virgin. I lost mine when I was 16, my other cousins were at similar ages. My broher was a virgin up until yesterday, at the age of 20. The last one to lose it and I was proud of him for remaining a virgin though it wasn't a personal choice on his behalf, it was just like that. He's a handsome young man, his problem was that he never had a girlfriend and I guess it wasn't his time. But yesterday (as I found out just now tonight by him) he lost his virginity to a 25 year old woman. I'm a little weirded by the age difference but whatever, it's just five years, right? My real concern is that he met her at a party that he attended with his older cousin, in his late 20's maybe even 30, idk. He was honest with me and told me that while after the party my cousin, brother, and two girls went to a hotel, after sometime our cousin started to have sex with his 'girl' in front of my brother. FIRST OF ALL that pisses me off, maybe because I don't want my brother influenced to that kind of style and second of all I knew that pressured my brother into a awkward situation. My brother is not all innocent either, he's made out with loads of girls at his college, he's not legally 21 and yet he drinks like any frat boy, those are things me and my parents know, we understand. So, in his words, he asked the girl who he had been flirting with that night and who had accompanied him to the hotel room, if she wanted to do it too. I had to laugh at how he told me he asked her, girls these days... Anyways, they ended up having sex but it wasn't perfect and no one really got pleasured if you know what I mean. He was worried about that and I told 'tish tosh, it was your first time, it almost never goes the right way'. And I voiced to him my concerns: did you use protection, did you make sure it didn't break, etc. I gave him some serious advice on how to treat women from now on and to have better standards than one night stands, etc. My concerns are like those of a mother. I don't want him making mistakes (getting a girl pregnant, I would rip his balls off if he did!) or going for girls who just blantantly put themselves out like that, it's not cute, not in my mind. I know he's a young adult and he's bound to make some mistakes, I'm just hoping they're not the big ones. I told him that he'll need to have check ups with his doctor to be on the safe side, people these days are catching everything and it's a sick and disgusting when someone takes it so lightly until they find themselves with an STD that will forever destroy their lives and sex lives at that. I know he's smart and eventually, with more time he'll...I don't know, be a mature man with lessons learned and all. The conversation was slightly awkward and yet I wanted to make sure he knew what I felt he had to know or be re-told. I'm not going to say I'm glad but I am going to say I'm impressed with how responsible he was (excluding the fact that it was a girl he just met at a party, that is frustrating) when it came to being protected. He doesn't have a girlfriend just yet but when he does I hope he treats her with respect and doesn't expect her to pull out, I know my brother and he wouldn't do that to a girl anyways. It's just awkward for me to hear it but I knew it would happen eventually. My 'little' brother lost his virginity at the age of 20. What do you guys think? Is this typical for any guy's first time? (the not-getting-off part). Are there other things he should be doing after such an event?
sweet sugar Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Sorry, but this whole post creeps me out. I would say I'm close to my brother, but he didn't share with me when he lost his virginity and vice versa. I sure didn't announce it to my cousins at that age. Are you from the deep south possibly?
Author Viva Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Sweet Sugar, I'm from New York City. Born and raised. I'm real sorry you have such a misconception of the South and as I've just stated I'm nowhere near the South of N. America. My brother came to me with this because A) he was excited and unlike my strict, tradition Spaniard family, I'm more of a laid-back 'cool sister', and I'm mature enough to hear such normal things. Should I be ashamed that my brother chose to be sexually active? And B) he was concerned and needed advice, unlike his guy friends and might I add die-hard party lady-friends, he asked the advice of me and my older female cousin (36 yrs. old. Oh and also from NYC), she was with us, because I guess we're mature enough to not think that talking about it is such a 'down south' thing.
Distant78 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 The guy is a grown man. Let him have fun and enjoy his youth.
Macaw Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 16 isn't early at all for a girl to lose hers. From my experience, half the guys at that age go around deflowering girls in high school while the other half are too shy to score any and lose theirs later. You might've been the fifth or sixth to your first. 20 was a decent age for your brother. Not late by any means. If anything, you can count on that he'll be a much finer gentlemen than the guys who lost it and high school and have been taking sex for granted because they had it so easy back then.
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