badromance Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 i was in a relationship with my best friend for 3 years. he broke up with me a little over a year ago. we stopped talking this past summer just to help me get over him because me and him both wanted our friendship back eventually and that was the best way it could happen. so during this time of not speaking, i found out that he had cheated on me multiple times when we were together. i never knew any of this and it came as a shock to me. although it doesnt affect the relationship me and him had, cause well thats over, it affects the friendship we both once wanted back. he eventually contacted me again and i told him what i found out and at first he was like i know i was awful to you and i understand if you dont want to be friends. but then he kept texting and calling cause he wanted to patch things up because he missed our friendship. he still will randomly send me a text every once in a while to see how i am. i hesitate to answer at first all the time but then give in when he sends a second text after not answering. i've been civil but i just dont know if i should be his friend or not after finding that out. part of me really wants to be his friend because i miss his friendship more than anything in the world. he was my best friend and knew everything about my life and more. but the other part of me feels like im bringing myself down if i become his friend knowing what he did to me time after time and being able to treat me that way. with no respect. part of me feels like i have no respect for myself if i become friends with him now. so i just dont know what to do. all of my friends get mad when i answer him. but they just dont get the friendship me and him once shared. im just torn with the whole thing. and i need opinions. is it bad to become friends with someone who cheated on you?
Am4Real Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 i was in a relationship with my best friend for 3 years. he broke up with me a little over a year ago. we stopped talking this past summer just to help me get over him because me and him both wanted our friendship back eventually and that was the best way it could happen. so during this time of not speaking, i found out that he had cheated on me multiple times when we were together. i never knew any of this and it came as a shock to me. although it doesnt affect the relationship me and him had, cause well thats over, it affects the friendship we both once wanted back. he eventually contacted me again and i told him what i found out and at first he was like i know i was awful to you and i understand if you dont want to be friends. but then he kept texting and calling cause he wanted to patch things up because he missed our friendship. he still will randomly send me a text every once in a while to see how i am. i hesitate to answer at first all the time but then give in when he sends a second text after not answering. i've been civil but i just dont know if i should be his friend or not after finding that out. part of me really wants to be his friend because i miss his friendship more than anything in the world. he was my best friend and knew everything about my life and more. but the other part of me feels like im bringing myself down if i become his friend knowing what he did to me time after time and being able to treat me that way. with no respect. part of me feels like i have no respect for myself if i become friends with him now. so i just dont know what to do. all of my friends get mad when i answer him. but they just dont get the friendship me and him once shared. im just torn with the whole thing. and i need opinions. is it bad to become friends with someone who cheated on you? Dear BADROMANCE, Can I mention to you posts are much easier to read when you write with accurate punctuation and construct your thoughts in characteristic paragraphs. Let me ask you this. Taking your acquaintance with this gentlemanly rock star out of the equation for a minute and listing the facts, what would you think if someone else was posting the following: Had a friend that became my boyfriend.He slept with several women while dating me that I did not know about at the time we were together.We broke up and stayed apart so that I could get over him.He wants to be friends after one year apart I would hope you would advise the person to be aware that it is likely he wants an old friend who was good in bed for benefits associated with friends of that type. Then ask yourself if that is what you want and/or want to become knowing while he is your friend you are really masking your feeling for him why he expresses feeling for other woman who come and go in his life. Is that really something you want to put yourself through just to revisit times of yesteryear with a supposed old friend? Besides, is what you find described above the definition of a FRIEND? I think it not! Only you know the answer to that one. Good luck and best wishes, Am4Real
Recommended Posts