CluelessGuy1986 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Basically I have know this girl for a year or so. She is 20 I am 24. From the minute I met her I started developing feelings but recently I cant get her out of my head. A few months ago we started texting every day or other day, just harmless random texts. During xmas I invited her to an event as I had an extra ticket and she was happy to come along. (Parents were there so it wasnt ideal but it was fun). I also gave her a little gift that she really liked. This was basically the first I got to spend time with her outside a group setting where I met her. My issue is how to tell her the way I feel. I kind of assume she must know but they say you should never assume! It sounds so simple writing it down but im not the most experienced guy to begin with and its tough for me to gauge if she has any feelings. Is sending me random texts about what she is doing/what happened to her any kind of indication, do lots of girls do this to guy friends? Another problem is although we talk a bit I dont see her that often. I dont really want to drop any bombs via text message. Ive basically told myself that I just have to go for it as I dont want to regret not doing so when I see her with another guy, I just dont know the best way to do it?
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Just giving this a bump so people can tell me how much of a wuss I am being.
green_tea Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Is sending me random texts about what she is doing/what happened to her any kind of indication, do lots of girls do this to guy friends? Don't assume she knows how you feel. Yes girls do send texts to guy friends, so that doesn't mean anything. Just try asking her out.
lamaman3 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Do not "tell her how you feel". Instead, ask her out one on one. Maybe go to dinner, a lounge and touch her in a way that shows you like her non platonically. When the time is right, go to kiss her. If she acts surprised, which she shouldn't if youve already been doing things like giving her good eyecontact, then you can say something like "i like you" without making a big deal out of it. In other words, ask her out like you would any other girl you find yourself attracted to. Blurting out your feelings of love out of nowhere seems to make many girls a bit uncomfortable despite what you see in the movies.
shayan Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Just tell her you like her. Ha, it's a little hard I know. But if she likes you it doesn't matter how you put it she'll go for it. No shame in liking someone and rejection ain't ****.
baguette Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Do not "tell her how you feel". Instead, ask her out one on one. Maybe go to dinner, a lounge and touch her in a way that shows you like her non platonically. When the time is right, go to kiss her. If she acts surprised, which she shouldn't if youve already been doing things like giving her good eyecontact, then you can say something like "i like you" without making a big deal out of it. In other words, ask her out like you would any other girl you find yourself attracted to. Blurting out your feelings of love out of nowhere seems to make many girls a bit uncomfortable despite what you see in the movies. +1 Definitely ask her out one-on-one, dinner or something and see how she responds to you during the evening. Try to go somewhere where you can get close and steal a kiss. If all else fails, try to kiss her when you drop her off and say goodnight.
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Thanks for the advice/suggestions. I definetely agree that I need to arrange an actual date, this is the heard part for me though. Other than seeing her once every couple of weeks we only really communicate via text message, phoning her out of the blue would seem kind of random? Is arranging something like this via text message ok? I have a friend who was asked out via Facebook and she thought it was pretty pathetic so im not sure what the general consensus is. Thanks!
Cee Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Yesterday, I was asked on a 2nd date via text message. I really like the guy so I said sure. He said he'd call me to arrange the details. Sure, he was taking the easy way out, but I'm fine with it.
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 So here is where I am at. We have talked about doing many things and one night she randomly texted that we should watch a old movie we had talked about one day. I of course said yes, we definetely should. Then I mentioned something else we had talked about and she was all for doing it (skating). I asked what night she has free and she basically replied that she has to try to find her old skates first. I did mention the place has rentals but alas.. Im confused with this one. She seems so keen/excited to do things but I cant actually make these things happen. Really frustrating.
Seamless74 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 So here is where I am at. We have talked about doing many things and one night she randomly texted that we should watch a old movie we had talked about one day. I of course said yes, we definetely should. Then I mentioned something else we had talked about and she was all for doing it (skating). I asked what night she has free and she basically replied that she has to try to find her old skates first. I did mention the place has rentals but alas.. Im confused with this one. She seems so keen/excited to do things but I cant actually make these things happen. Really frustrating. 18th January 2011 2:13 PM Impossible to read that situation from the collective vantage point.. probably nothing the whole texting thing means nothing.... Id say this looks pretty Friendzonish to me id be very suprised if you ever got out of there.. Just for future reference I suggest as always being way upfront about your desires and interests by this point your intentions should have already been known even at the risk of blowing the whole relationship out of the water.. Now look at you your stuck dont know where your at how to proceed etc.... worried about losing a friend if you let her know your true intentions.... You need to be upfront next time.. as a man your metaphorically a "wolf" and shes the "sheep" you either kill her as in successfully take the interaction towards a more sexual direction or you chase her off i.e. blow yourself off by being rejected, but you most certainly dont play with her the wolf doesnt play with the sheep, catch my drift classic wussy boy behavior and now youll pay the consequences of being friend zoned and basically trapped... But hey on the bright side you can always have a platonic text relationship I hear theyre quite popular nowadays... Better luck next time/.
Author CluelessGuy1986 Posted January 20, 2011 Author Posted January 20, 2011 Haha, thanks for the honest reply. I had sort of come to the same conclusion of being too far into the friend zone but then ill get these random texts that make me think otherwise. For all I know she is sending similar things to countless other people, who knows. As you say lesson learned I guess.
Questionis Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Do not "tell her how you feel". Instead, ask her out one on one. Maybe go to dinner, a lounge and touch her in a way that shows you like her non platonically. When the time is right, go to kiss her. If she acts surprised, which she shouldn't if youve already been doing things like giving her good eyecontact, then you can say something like "i like you" without making a big deal out of it. In other words, ask her out like you would any other girl you find yourself attracted to. Blurting out your feelings of love out of nowhere seems to make many girls a bit uncomfortable despite what you see in the movies. What he said^
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