Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 My head says let him go things will be fine.. My heart aches continuing to stand still in time. Remembering,missing,wondering and hoping.. You ask me why I say one thing and then say another.. Well you did didn't you? Told me you loved me everyday even though you wanted to leave and ended up doing so. Yet I should beable to let you go and make up my mind on a whim? Because I truly loved you I can't "just forget". Not right away.. It might have been easy for you. But for me, I need time. I need real time. To get away, to be away.. Its going to hurt and hurt alot. Especially since I really suck at the no contact thing. Somedays I just want to snap my phone in half. Throw my pc out the window. Today was day 4.. Broke NC to let him know his weirdo mother was bothering me. The part that hurts was I have of course been hoping. Hoping he would break NC and reach out to me. I know 4 days definetly isn't long enough to do that. So I am doing everything I can to break my hopes. To sabatoge my fantasies. Telling him to go away.. Things will get better but I need my time to myself. I can't run away from my responsibilitys and problems like he did. I don't want to hope anymore.. I don't want to care anymore.. My head says he is a lost cause.. My heart says we were meant to be. It hurts so much somedays it feels physical.. It hurts everywhere. Love feels so good at the beginning. When its yanked away. Its nothing more then the feeling we were addicted to.. Well I am ready to be sober now. Take me to a rehab on the beach, show me a happy life with out him.. Link to post Share on other sites
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