TheGrimSweeper Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My ex broke up with me for the second time due to GIGS and the fact that I became too available for her. She wasnt over the GIGS the first time, I should of realized that. She also has serious commitment issues, her parents were separating right when she ended it a month and a half ago and almost did when she was 5. Shes currently in therapy for this (hopefully shes still going to it). She ended it just before our 2 year anniversary. She wanted to take a step back and be friends and was devastated when I said no. I feel like I've almost dumped her, since I cut off all contact but I had too. Its not possible to be friends with someone your in love with and have feelings with. I never really gave her a reason why and for some reason I have this burning desire to tell her why I cant be friends. Good idea / bad idea? I'm seriously pining today and miss her like crazy.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I honestly would leave it.. Don't tell her, let her wonder.. At this point you only want to tell her so you have a reason to contact her. You will feel better in the end if you leave it...
screwball Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Its not possible to be friends with someone your in love with and have feelings with. I never really gave her a reason why and for some reason I have this burning desire to tell her why I cant be friends. Good idea / bad idea? Fantastic idea not being friends, terrible idea to contact her. You want to tell her your reason because it's kind of an ultimatum with a hidden reminder. You're saying, "Have all of me or none of me...and I know you left me twice and treated me like a dog, but I still love you because I'm afraid of being alone" and you're hoping that she chooses all of you and comes back. AND what happens IF she comes back?? She'll leave again in a couple weeks due to GIGS. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times,...?? Stop playing games trying to get her back and start working on trying to accept that she is really gone for good. Stay NC until you stop thinking of her, get over her, and start dating again. Then *maybe* you can explain your actions and be friends if you really want to.
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Fantastic idea not being friends, terrible idea to contact her. You want to tell her your reason because it's kind of an ultimatum with a hidden reminder. You're saying, "Have all of me or none of me...and I know you left me twice and treated me like a dog, but I still love you because I'm afraid of being alone" and you're hoping that she chooses all of you and comes back. AND what happens IF she comes back?? She'll leave again in a couple weeks due to GIGS. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times,...?? Stop playing games trying to get her back and start working on trying to accept that she is really gone for good. Stay NC until you stop thinking of her, get over her, and start dating again. Then *maybe* you can explain your actions and be friends if you really want to. This is why I come here to be told exactly what I need to here. I'm going on a trip to Cuba with a bunch of buddies in a few weeks I hope that helps clear my head.
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