LK30 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) It's been a year this week since I split from my ex. I just feel the need to rant as I STILL haven't had a day since I split from her whereby I haven't thought about her at least once. I've just got back from a week's holiday in France, and although it helped, I found myself trying to check her FB when I got home. I am sooooo anxious now as this isn't normal behaviour, i'm sure. I'm doing my best to do NC and holding out well. i just seem to miss her as much as I always have. I believe she's single as I've seen she's logged on to a dating site recently which kind of made me relieved as she's not in a relationship, but also half wondering if I should contact her whilst she's available. There's just no way she'd get back with me. I've mentioned this before, but for those of you who've seen the film 'Serendipity' you may recall John Cusack saying to his best mate that he kept hearing her (Kate Beckinsale's name - Sarah) and it's like a sign the universe is trying to make him get in touch with her...well, it feels like that as I often hear her name. Do you think she ever thinks about me? I'm debating doing that 'cosmic ordering' / law of attraction thing based on the book called 'The Secret.' I'm wondering if it may help. I wish she knew how I feel as she probably has no idea at all, and I just want to give her a hug! I've also booked on to a confidence/self esteem course. Life feels so tough at the moment and I'm really not enjoying any part of it. I'm sad, I know! Edited January 16, 2011 by LK30
stopthemadness Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Hey I want read that book too. But I dont know if it will bring them back? I was gona read it to help me move on. And missing them? it gets better you still miss them but not as much and not all the time. Hope you feel better.....
Lemontang Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I'm in the same boat dude. It's been a year and a week since an ex and I broke up and yeah I still think about her, but in saying that I've also since moved on. Especially under the circumstances we broke up I refuse to accept 2nd rate behavior from her again and haven't spoken to her in just as long. Though I did have a small win and realisation today of all things but I'll post that in another thread (I stumbled on this thread as I was about to post it). I'm not into the cosmic and all that stuff. I've always been a realist and learnt from my wins and losses. A big confidence boost for me was going out and doing stuff I'd always wanted to do but was held back by relationships at the time...well that's the excuse I had. Prior to this ex I was a really confident guy too, the kind that didn't think twice about jumping out of a perfectly good plane (it is fun). When my confidence was shattered I moped about for a bit before deciding to break out of the rutt. One key things for 2010 I did was buy a motorbike something I thought I'd never do and now the car sits around collecting dust. I wish you well and that you find yourself again.
McGrupp Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 if you applied "the Secret" in terms of your ex, she would have to come back to you.
Kansas Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I believe she's single as I've seen she's logged on to a dating site recently which kind of made me relieved as she's not in a relationship, but also half wondering if I should contact her whilst she's available. There's just no way she'd get back with me. I'm probably not the best person to give advice on your situation, as I have only been NC for a few weeks ... however ... don't you think that if she's still single and is interested in getting back together with you and thinks of you as often as you think of her then she would contact you? My ex dumped me and swore up and down that he wasn't dating other people and was on an internet dating site less than a week after things ended with us. It still makes me sick to think that after everything we had been through together he was willing to date someone else, but not me (we broke up b/c he wouldn't commit) ... but at the same time, I thought, I don't want to play second fiddle or be a back up plan - I'm worth more than that. After finding this out, how could I ever be with him knowing that he didn't choose me first? That he genuinely feels that there is someone better out there than the person he was with. I don't know. I think you should stick to NC but others may disagree.
jquest1280 Posted January 19, 2011 Posted January 19, 2011 You should definitely stick to NC, and definitely stop checking her FB account. For almost 4 years after he dumped me, not one day went by that I didn't think of him. When I reached the stage of "acceptance", this stopped. So don't fret, it can last a long time, but things will improve until your pain eventually ends. Focus on yourself, your projects, goals, etc., to kind of distract you until you get to the end of the journey. It will go much faster if you stop looking up her FB. As for the cosmic laws of the universe - it's a movie, bro. It's wishful thinking. But if it helps you to wish it, go wish. I did a lot of wishing when I was in your shoes. It helped keep me sane, but as you can see, nothing happened to my wishing. He didn't come back. And now that I've finished the journey, I can honestly say, it was just as well.
Author LK30 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Thanks guys - some good honest replies there. I think I was just getting really anxious that the time spent trying to get over the relationship is almost as long as the time I was actually IN the relationship! How bizarre is that!!
jquest1280 Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Thanks guys - some good honest replies there. I think I was just getting really anxious that the time spent trying to get over the relationship is almost as long as the time I was actually IN the relationship! How bizarre is that!! I had the same thoughts as yours. My relationship lasted 10 months, but I was still thinking of him 2 years later, first thought in the morning, last thought at night. He still had the power to make me feel bad, and to make me cry. Year 3 thoughts were not so intense anymore, and by Year 4 it was over. So, did that take long or what? But it does end! You'll get there too.
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