new0726 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 So my girlfriend is going through a really rough time getting the ball rolling on her divorce. Her ex cheated on her and walked out and they are finally getting everything going on their divorce so she has been really stressed and upset. I come home with cookies, ice cream, and flowers last night only to find she isn't at my apartment. I come in, and on the bar is a note along with my housekey. The note basically says that she isn't good enough for me and that I will be happier without her. And that she really doesn't want to do this. So I jump in the car and head toward her house (she lives about 30 min away)...on the way I get pulled over for going 80 in a 35, texting while driving, and no seat-belt. Luckily the cop was in a nice mood. Anyways, I get there and let myself in with my keys, and we talk. She didn't really have much to say. I told her that I loved her and if we could just make it through the next couple months things would get much better and if they didn't she could leave and I wouldn't say anything. I just don't know what else to do. I know she is going through so much right now, and I really think that that's what this is all about. Should I just give her space now? And wait and see? Advice would be great guys. Thank you.
Rose T Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 So my girlfriend is going through a really rough time getting the ball rolling on her divorce. Her ex cheated on her and walked out and they are finally getting everything going on their divorce so she has been really stressed and upset. I know you want to be there for her and it sounds like you're being very caring, but she probably needs space at the moment. If she's stepped back from you then you really have no choice but to give her that freedom and time to cope with everything - she must be going through so much. It sucks, but you have to give her that space knowing that she might not come back to you when she's clear of the divorce - she may have been leaning on you to get through this horrible time, but it might not mean you have a future together. Sounds like you've been really supportive in any case - I'm sure she'll appreciate that and you even more if you're sensitive to her needs right now. You've really done all you can at the moment - sadly the timing probably sucks.
Author new0726 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Thank you for the response. And you are right I'm really trying/ have been trying to be very supportive through this time. I even told her when I went over there that I would be by her side through all of this. I guess I just have to wait and see where things are going to go.
Author new0726 Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 She keeps sending me messages asking if I am okay. And asking me to talk to her. Why? Why didn't she ask for her keys back when I came to her house yesterday?
Movingthrough Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Honestly man i would be very careful. I did the whole dating a girl while she was in a divorce thing and their head is all over the place. They are looking for something to fill that void which was the marriage. Girls usually move on faster so they dont have to feel the pain. If i was you i would honestly step back, and let her deal with it, you dont want to push something if she isnt feeling it.
Winherback Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Yeah, this is a very messy time for her and putting yourself into the middle of it makes you a part of the mess imo. I can understand wanting to be the rock and all that but you can already see she is all over the place. If you want any chance down the road, you cant risk being the crutch imo. Crutches always get put away when they are not needed anymore. I would even possibly communicate this in some form or another. Tell her you respect her past and that it might be best for her to deal with it before yall communicated again. Maybe it would even give her something to look forward to down the road if she is really into you.
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