Questionis Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 The guy I am dating went out with a girl who looks just like me, I mean hair skin, personality. The works. I keep having this problem actually and also guys who I dated and it didn't work out with then go on to date girls who look like me. Should I break up with him? I think he has unresolved emotions about her and is just looking for a replacement for her. He says they have been split up for a year but still I think there is an issue. Also they are friends on facebook and she has a xanga page with lots of poetry on it. Talking about the relationship she was in, how she was ignored and he never had time for her. How he wasn't communicative etc. Should I run away before I get too attached? This guy is the first I have met in several years that I actually like and feel connected with so I am reluctant to break it off, but I don't want to ignore possible warning signs....
FreeheartLover Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I wouldn't break up with a guy because his ex looks like you. This has happened to me before more than once. I think it just means he has a "type" you know, and you and the other girl both fit the type he likes to date. No big deal. Personally, I would never date some guy just because he looked like my ex. I definitely have a type, though, and a lot of my exes are tall, dark, and handsome, ya know? Regarding her page with the relationship poetry - I guess I would take that as a sign of possible problems to come, but don't take it too seriously because you're not her, and you and this guy aren't going t have the exact same relationship he had with her. Different person, different dynamic, different relationship. I think you should not worry about it too much until you actually have something that's making you feel uncomfortable (i.e. he talks about her alot or he actually does have communication problems with you)
Nexus One Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Some guys have a specific type of girl/woman that they like. So simply said, you might just be his "type". The previous girl/woman might also have been "his type" and that's why you probably look so much alike. I don't see a reason why you should break up with anyone over this. Don't you have preferences for a particular type of guy?
Author Questionis Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 I wouldn't break up with a guy because his ex looks like you. I think you should not worry about it too much until you actually have something that's making you feel uncomfortable (i.e. he talks about her a lot or he actually does have communication problems with you) He doesn't talk about her unless I bring her/ex's up, so I guess not. But it does bug me that he can be so secretive sometimes. So I guess that's more the issue and what's really bugging me.
Author Questionis Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Some guys have a specific type of girl/woman that they like. So simply said, you might just be his "type". The previous girl/woman might also have been "his type" and that's why you probably look so much alike. I don't see a reason why you should break up with anyone over this. Don't you have preferences for a particular type of guy? I do have preferences, but guys are very strange creatures and I think they don't take proper care of their hearts. I don't want to get used to get over her and I don't want the heartbreak he seems to have put her through I just think I shouldn't walk into something that has big warning signs on it! I'm actually quite confused and really scared at this point.
shayan Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 hey if you're this scared already chances are your fears will become a self fulfilling prophecy and the relationship will suffer because of it. So if you do want to go forward with this guy then you're going to have to give him a chance and lighten up. All relationships have a certain degree of risk involved, and pain in life is inevitable.
Author Questionis Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 hey if you're this scared already chances are your fears will become a self fulfilling prophecy and the relationship will suffer because of it. So if you do want to go forward with this guy then you're going to have to give him a chance and lighten up. All relationships have a certain degree of risk involved, and pain in life is inevitable. I'm not scared, I just don't want to put myself through too much unnecessary pain if I can avoid it ! I've taken on what everyone has said so far and I will give it a go
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