RevInstant Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Hello everyone. Ever since my breakup, roughly two weeks ago, I've been reading a ton of the posts on the forums and I finally decided to post my story of woe to see if anyone has any solid ideas as to my course of action. She broke it up with me just after our six month anniversary. She told me that she needed space and that the way I acted over the holidays was inexcusable. What had happened was that she told me she was going to her grandmas for about two weeks give or take(from xmas eve until new years). She later told me that she was seeing her ex, who is her best friend for xmas eve and then going to her grandmas on xmas...well that also turned out to be a lie as I discovered that she was seeing him for xmas eve, xmas and a day after and then she was flying to michigan to see her other ex, who is also one of her friends. Needless to say I freaked out. I called and wanted reassurance and she kept ignoring me and wanted me to leave her alone since she never saw her friends. I had been cheated on in my past relationships and was paranoid about this to begin with and just before she left she told me she would talk to me everyday...and the fact that she completely forgot me on xmas killed me and we got into a huge arguement. Anyway, fast forward two weeks. She gets back and tells me she needs space but she wants to be friends. I broke down and she told me I shouldnt be friends with her just with the hopes of getting her back, and that was that. For the first week and I kept questioning her as to why and what this meant for us. She would tell me she wasnt seeing anyone and didnt plan on it. We got into a series of fights and each time she would say we can be friends but didnt know where it would go from there...the past week has been the most civilized we have been to each other. She told me that she wasnt going to date or sleep with anyone until we figured us out and that if I gave her space we would probably be together soon. What confuses me are the events I'm going to detail next. I have a son from another relationship and the two of them have grown close. She met with me Wed and we got lunch and she spent the day with me and him and stayed the night(nothing sexual). Thur went even better and we didnt argue at all. That night when she went home we were both on AIM and we talked about random stuff and out of the blue she says "If I ever have a boy I want to name him this" and I said "Thats cool, I could go with that" and she said "If we work out lets name him that" and we went into a ten minute convo about what we would name out kids. We had talked about it before, but she seemed excited. She also mentioned that she had wished she had stayed that night. Then friday we went out and shopped, had lunched, kissed a few times and she said she felt really good...then she got sick and Sat happened. She got a virus or something and I stayed with her Fri night- through sat and into sun morning. I knew she liked having her hair stroked, feet rubbed, etc so I did all of that and I asked before I did. She said she liked it but was distant all Sat. I chalked it up to being sick but when I asked her on Sun morning if I had done anything wrong she said I was getting too close too fast and that she wasnt sure if she had said what she did about the kids names and that on friday she allowed herself to forget about what happened and why we split. My response was that you can only rebuild something better with good moments and by learning from your past and that I really hoped she didnt regret Friday or the talk because it gave me alot of hope. I have a pretty elaborate date planned on the 28th that I put together before all of this happened. What do you guys think about this? Some people tell me the fact that she even sees me is a good sign while others say she is using me for support. Should I back off un til the 28th and see if she contacts me or try and maintain some regular line of communicae. I want her back and she knows it, and she knows I'm willing to change from before...I just need to convince her to give me a chance. Thanks guys.
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