FreeheartLover Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Like how many miles must you be apart to consider it long distance? I live 65 miles, an hour and a half drive from my boyfriend. We see each other every week. Is that long distance?
HeavenOrHell Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I'd say if you have to ask then it isn't! You know when it's an LDR cos it's difficult and painful and you miss them terribly. To me it's not just about distance it's also how often you're able to see them, once a week sounds like a local r/ship to me. Most people wait weeks or months to see their partner. My partner hopes to move closer in time, one of the towns 40 miles from me, if we saw each other once a week when he moves I wouldn't think of us as long distance anymore, it would be wonderful! Like how many miles must you be apart to consider it long distance? I live 65 miles, an hour and a half drive from my boyfriend. We see each other every week. Is that long distance?
Author FreeheartLover Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I'd say if you have to ask then it isn't! You know when it's an LDR cos it's difficult and painful and you miss them terribly. To me it's not just about distance it's also how often you're able to see them, once a week sounds like a local r/ship to me. Most people wait weeks or months to see their partner. My partner hopes to move closer in time, one of the towns 40 miles from me, if we saw each other once a week when he moves I wouldn't think of us as long distance anymore, it would be wonderful! Oh, OK, thanks. Good luck to you!
folieadeux Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 There's some more replies in this thread that may help. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t260529/
nemi26 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If you feel it is one, then it is! my boyfriend lives 2.5 hours away by train and i class that as a long distance relationship, not like i can just see him for odd 2-3 hour after work or college is it. he can only come on arranged planned visits at weekends and holidays. yeah there is people who live in different countries and are a couple i'd call that extreme long distance
HeavenOrHell Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I think the opposite, if you have to ask whether it is then it's not, a bit like if a woman asks if she's had an orgasm if she's not had one before and isn't sure, cos she sure as hell WOULD know if she's had one When you're in an LDR there is no mistaking the missing them and the heartache which goes with it and counting down the weeks/months til you see them again. Not seeing someone for a week doesn't give you time to miss them. If you feel it is one, then it is! my boyfriend lives 2.5 hours away by train and i class that as a long distance relationship, not like i can just see him for odd 2-3 hour after work or college is it. he can only come on arranged planned visits at weekends and holidays. yeah there is people who live in different countries and are a couple i'd call that extreme long distance
aerogurl87 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 To me a long distance relationship is where you only get to see your partner at a minimum, every 2 weeks. I was in a relationship where I only saw my boyfriend once a week because he lived about a hour away and I didn't consider that to be a LDR by a long shot.
Romance Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No, I dont think so!!! I am 300 miles, 5 hours from my bf and I consider that long distance but it's minimally. I mean..it's hard to see each other. But it's not a different time zone and a plane ride. IMO less than 2 hours isnt ldr.
Faded_x Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I think it varies from couple to couple. Personally, a relationship where you're able to see each other weekly I wouldn't consider a LDR. I think it's a LDR when the distance prevents you from seeing each other weekly, so you have to wait weeks or months. I don't really think you can measure it by distance. For instance, one couple might live 3 hours away from each other, but have the time and money to see each other regularly (that is, every week). The distance means nothing to them, as it doesn't impact on the relationship at all. However, there might be another couple who live 3 hours apart, but they aren't able to see each other every week due to scheduling conflicts and not having the money. This, to me, is a LDR; despite the fact that many people don't consider a few hours one.
Faded_x Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Not trying to be mean (at all) but this struck me a bit funny. I miss my H the minute he walks back into the doors at the airport. Or on a good day it's the minute I look over in the car after dropping him off at the airport and see that he's not there that I start missing him. One day seems like an eternity. Maybe a week isn't enough to miss someone for you, but other's threshholds may be different. I missed him last time he was here and we spent a few hours doing separate things. It's love, not distance, that causes that. I was going to mention something like this too, but forgot. I'm friends with a couple who live together, and she misses him everytime he goes off to work. Whether he's away for a few days, or just a day. I don't think missing someone really makes it a LDR HeavenOrHell, but I do get where you're coming from.
LittleTiger Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 Not trying to be mean (at all) but this struck me a bit funny. I miss my H the minute he walks back into the doors at the airport. Or on a good day it's the minute I look over in the car after dropping him off at the airport and see that he's not there that I start missing him. One day seems like an eternity. Maybe a week isn't enough to miss someone for you, but other's threshholds may be different. I missed him last time he was here and we spent a few hours doing separate things. It's love, not distance, that causes that. I have to agree with this. I've never missed my man more than the second he disappeared from sight as I walked through the airport doors last week. I'm pretty pathetic at goodbyes and I was crying so hard I could barely stand up straight . While I was with him in NZ, I missed him every second we had to be apart. To the OP, and to other's who have asked this question, I'm curious why it keeps coming up. Does it really matter what other people consider an LDR? We are all so different and have such different perceptions and expectations of our personal relationships, it's really only how you feel that matters. In my case we are as long distance as it's possible to be (12,000 miles) but, other than the extreme cost and time involved in getting to see each other, I don't think that makes it any more of an LDR than anyone else on this board. Everything is relative and there is always somebody worse off than ourselves in every situation we face. LDRs are no different. I may be 12,000 miles from my man and we have periods of 3 (maybe 4!) months apart, but our relationship is rock solid and we spend more time talking every day than most couples who live together, so that makes me very lucky. If you can see your bf every week, that makes you lucky too - in a different way. So if you think your relationship is LDR, then I'd say it is, and welcome to the LDR forum.
heartshaped Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I was going to mention something like this too, but forgot. I'm friends with a couple who live together, and she misses him everytime he goes off to work. Whether he's away for a few days, or just a day. I don't think missing someone really makes it a LDR HeavenOrHell, but I do get where you're coming from. haha, when me and my boyfriend lived together I used to miss him when he went to work as well and actually use to watch the clock a bit until he got home so you can imagine how I feel now that we are long distance!
Citizen Erased Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I think where HoH was coming from was that seeing each other once a week, only having a week to miss each other and then repeating that each week isn't quite the same as those of us that don't see our SO for months at a time. I travel an hour and a half to work every day, that is not long distance. Spend almost 24 hours on a plane to get to them and you'll see why I'd find that kinda funny.
LittleTiger Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 I think where HoH was coming from was that seeing each other once a week, only having a week to miss each other and then repeating that each week isn't quite the same as those of us that don't see our SO for months at a time. I travel an hour and a half to work every day, that is not long distance. Spend almost 24 hours on a plane to get to them and you'll see why I'd find that kinda funny. I totally understand where you're coming from CE - it takes us 30 hours on a plane to reach each other and it is, of course, impossible to 'compare' journeys like ours with one and half hours in a car BUT whether a not a relationship is long distance has to be considered in relation to that persons circumstance. If you're 18 years old, live at home, have almost no money for travel and are used to dating people who live around the corner or 10 minutes away by bus, then an hour and half and a week between visits is a long time and the kind of LDR that you are I both have is 'impossible'. I think it's unfair to compare each of our situations because we all have our own unique challenges to overcome - distance apart, or length of time apart are just two of many faced by people in LDRs.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 An hour, day or a week is enough for me to miss him but only because I don't see him for 6-8 weeks, if I saw him every week 6 for 7 days it would seem like nothing to me, you can start looking forward to it and planning it the minute they've gone. Not trying to be mean (at all) but this struck me a bit funny. I miss my H the minute he walks back into the doors at the airport. Or on a good day it's the minute I look over in the car after dropping him off at the airport and see that he's not there that I start missing him. One day seems like an eternity. Maybe a week isn't enough to miss someone for you, but other's threshholds may be different. I missed him last time he was here and we spent a few hours doing separate things. It's love, not distance, that causes that.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No, it's not just down to missing them, it's just part of it, I mean missing someone while they're at work that day can in no way be compared to not seeing someone for several weeks, you're not gonna cry cos you miss them at work, or feel depressed, or have doubts that you can handle the distance/time apart, that would be a bit crazy if you're going to see them again after work in a few hours. I was going to mention something like this too, but forgot. I'm friends with a couple who live together, and she misses him everytime he goes off to work. Whether he's away for a few days, or just a day. I don't think missing someone really makes it a LDR HeavenOrHell, but I do get where you're coming from.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 But would you be crying so hard if you were going to see him in a few days/a week rather than in a few weeks/months? You might miss him for the day while he's at work if you were living together but you're not going to cry over it as you'll be seeing him later. Your situation is totally different to people who see their partners daily or weekly. I think some people ask if their's is an LDR as they have doubts that it really is as the distance isn't far, most of us don't have the luxury of doubting it, it's fact from day one. I can see what people mean when they talk about LDR's of an hour's drive away, but I beg to differ, sorry I have to agree with this. I've never missed my man more than the second he disappeared from sight as I walked through the airport doors last week. I'm pretty pathetic at goodbyes and I was crying so hard I could barely stand up straight . While I was with him in NZ, I missed him every second we had to be apart. To the OP, and to other's who have asked this question, I'm curious why it keeps coming up. Does it really matter what other people consider an LDR? We are all so different and have such different perceptions and expectations of our personal relationships, it's really only how you feel that matters. In my case we are as long distance as it's possible to be (12,000 miles) but, other than the extreme cost and time involved in getting to see each other, I don't think that makes it any more of an LDR than anyone else on this board. Everything is relative and there is always somebody worse off than ourselves in every situation we face. LDRs are no different. I may be 12,000 miles from my man and we have periods of 3 (maybe 4!) months apart, but our relationship is rock solid and we spend more time talking every day than most couples who live together, so that makes me very lucky. If you can see your bf every week, that makes you lucky too - in a different way. So if you think your relationship is LDR, then I'd say it is, and welcome to the LDR forum.
Author FreeheartLover Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 Well just FYI I'm not a teenager nor am I immobile. I'm 25 and he's 31 and we take turns travelling to see each other. I do miss him, even within a week's time. I live in a small town where everything is within 5-10 miles of me, and he lives in a big city where he sometimes has to drive a lot to get around. We can't get to each other sometimes due to the severe winter weather. I'll just say we're semi-long distance and leave it at that.
LittleTiger Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 But would you be crying so hard if you were going to see him in a few days/a week rather than in a few weeks/months? You might miss him for the day while he's at work if you were living together but you're not going to cry over it as you'll be seeing him later. Your situation is totally different to people who see their partners daily or weekly. I think some people ask if their's is an LDR as they have doubts that it really is as the distance isn't far, most of us don't have the luxury of doubting it, it's fact from day one. I can see what people mean when they talk about LDR's of an hour's drive away, but I beg to differ, sorry Ok, fair point - no I wouldn't be crying so hard if I was seeing him in a few days - at least I hope not! That really would be pathetic and I already make a complete show of myself at the end of every visit (and it gets worse every time), so to do that every week would be seriously embarrassing! However, I think we're digressing slightly. The question is what constitutes a LDR in terms of time and distance, not in terms of how emotional we get when parting or how much we miss our SO. In theory I could laugh at anyone who thinks two hours on a plane is long distance - to us that would be 'around the corner' compared to what we have now. However, as I see it, you could have two different couples who live vastly different distances apart and both could be considered LDR. Couple #1 live a 2hr flight apart, have a reasonable income and can afford to visit each other every two or three weeks. Couple #2 live a 2hr push-bike apart, are students with no money and very busy course schedules and they can only manage one visit every other week. Who's to say which couple has it harder? To me, it's all relative and based on the individual's perception. Oh just ignore me HOH, I'm feeling 'yuck' at the moment and could probably find something to argue about with a blade of grass!
HeavenOrHell Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 No, you're right, I agree And I'm touchy and grumpy cos I'm missing my other half too and my insmonia is insane at the moment, wide awake til 4am each night, living on 3 or 4 hours sleep Hope to catch up with you this week, wanna hear all about it It must be really tough for you right now (((((hugs))))) Ok, fair point - no I wouldn't be crying so hard if I was seeing him in a few days - at least I hope not! That really would be pathetic and I already make a complete show of myself at the end of every visit (and it gets worse every time), so to do that every week would be seriously embarrassing! However, I think we're digressing slightly. The question is what constitutes a LDR in terms of time and distance, not in terms of how emotional we get when parting or how much we miss our SO. In theory I could laugh at anyone who thinks two hours on a plane is long distance - to us that would be 'around the corner' compared to what we have now. However, as I see it, you could have two different couples who live vastly different distances apart and both could be considered LDR. Couple #1 live a 2hr flight apart, have a reasonable income and can afford to visit each other every two or three weeks. Couple #2 live a 2hr push-bike apart, are students with no money and very busy course schedules and they can only manage one visit every other week. Who's to say which couple has it harder? To me, it's all relative and based on the individual's perception. Oh just ignore me HOH, I'm feeling 'yuck' at the moment and could probably find something to argue about with a blade of grass!
pookster72 Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 of course everyone whose distance is further than yours is going to laugh at you and say your relationship isn't "long distance":rolleyes: i really think it depends on the people and their means. when i was in high school and didn't drive, an hour distance would have been unreasonable. i definitely would have considered that long distance. now an hour is nothing to me...i commuted an hour for my last job. im 2.5 hrs away from my bf right now. he thinks its long distance, i don't. he's allowed to consider it long distance if it is to him.
nemi26 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I totally understand where you're coming from CE - it takes us 30 hours on a plane to reach each other and it is, of course, impossible to 'compare' journeys like ours with one and half hours in a car BUT whether a not a relationship is long distance has to be considered in relation to that persons circumstance. If you're 18 years old, live at home, have almost no money for travel and are used to dating people who live around the corner or 10 minutes away by bus, then an hour and half and a week between visits is a long time and the kind of LDR that you are I both have is 'impossible'. I think it's unfair to compare each of our situations because we all have our own unique challenges to overcome - distance apart, or length of time apart are just two of many faced by people in LDRs. ^ totally agree, all comes down to the person and how they feel.
Citizen Erased Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 I totally understand where you're coming from CE - it takes us 30 hours on a plane to reach each other and it is, of course, impossible to 'compare' journeys like ours with one and half hours in a car BUT whether a not a relationship is long distance has to be considered in relation to that persons circumstance. If you're 18 years old, live at home, have almost no money for travel and are used to dating people who live around the corner or 10 minutes away by bus, then an hour and half and a week between visits is a long time and the kind of LDR that you are I both have is 'impossible'. I think it's unfair to compare each of our situations because we all have our own unique challenges to overcome - distance apart, or length of time apart are just two of many faced by people in LDRs. Usually I'd agree it's unfair to compare. Given the OP has stated that they're not 18 and are fully capable adults, again I'm going to say that in my opinion it's not long distance. If it is then I guess I have a long distance relationship with my job.
aerogurl87 Posted January 20, 2011 Posted January 20, 2011 Usually I'd agree it's unfair to compare. Given the OP has stated that they're not 18 and are fully capable adults, again I'm going to say that in my opinion it's not long distance. If it is then I guess I have a long distance relationship with my job. Lol, that was pretty funny and true also. I used to drive a hour and a half to get to my college. That is not long distance to me at least. And even when I had no car or driver's license and managed to see my ex only once a week, sometimes every other week, I didn't consider that to be a long distance relationship. A drive of ten hours, yes, but less than two, I don't think so.
creighton0123 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Like how many miles must you be apart to consider it long distance? I live 65 miles, an hour and a half drive from my boyfriend. We see each other every week. Is that long distance? My boyfriend is roughly 6735 miles away for the next 10 months. I consider that long distance. If I was 17 and without a car, I would perhaps consider 65 miles long distance. At one point in time, I dated an ex who was 130 miles away. We both had cars and I had a place of my own. I didn't consider that a long distance relationship. It varies, but generally speaking if you can see one another more than two days a week, even if both days are consecutive, I wouldn't really say it's "long distance". Hell... one of my ex's didn't have parking at his place and I had to take transit to get to his house which always took the better part of 2 hours for an otherwise 5 mile drive (Boston transit sucks). Time and space are relative according to one's situation and resources.
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