stopthemadness Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) Iam having a morning of missing him and wondering what (who) hes doing? Most of the time am fine. Its been months now sence the breakup and am just so frustrated that the healing process isnt going faster. Iam sure part of the reason is that we still have had some sort of contact about once a week.I know, thats bad.. I do see a therapist which seems to help. For those of you who dont know my story. Me and this man had been 2gether off and on for 8 1/2 yrs. At first I was only seeing my therapist every 2 weeks but things were getting messed up in that week and progress seemed slow. So now we will meet once a week untell I feel stronger and can refrain from all contact. I cant help but think, If only there was a pill I could take to forget about his man. A pill that took away the pain from heart ache. Wouldnt that be awesome!!...Any thoughts on this? Edited January 16, 2011 by stopthemadness
Racoon Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I have been asking the same thing for a year and a half. Im still looking for that switch to turn off my heart. My x and I have been on and off for over two years. I cant imagine doing this for 8. He just wouldnt try. I can walk away, but continually see him or run into him everywhere I go. We both obviously love each other, but must be more on my part. After 3 months of being broken up, he says he is sorry and will try, then we give it another chance then he proves that he will only attempt to try when he doesnt have to go out of his way or it doesnt interfere with his buddy life. Your lucky to have your thearpy session. I think I need it, I should have before I let him get the best of me and made a complete fool/insecure a** of myself. Im the best thing that he will ever have and you were probably the best for him, otherwise you wouldnt have lasted as long as you did. But then again, is it worth it. Is it worth not finding the right person if you are with the wrong one? Im trying to let me head heal my heart. My head is angry but my heart wants to forgive and have that comfort zone. Constant struggle. If you were meant to be together, you would be. If you find that pill or switch, let me know. You are worthy of much better.
Author stopthemadness Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Racoon- If you too were off and for 2 yrs. Please! stop the madness NOW! because guess what? It can go on for 8 yrs. We kept trying, we'd break up for a few months both date other people smtimes. Then we'd start talking and here we go again..But not this time. Because the difference is this time am seeing a therapist. I know I cant keep doing this and I knew I couldnt stop by my self or I would have right? Sounds like your ex ISNT the right guy for you either. If I find that pill? Id be RICH!!(smile)
TG4MJ Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Iam having a morning of missing him and wondering what (who) hes doing? Most of the time am fine. Its been months now sence the breakup and am just so frustrated that the healing process isnt going faster. Iam sure part of the reason is that we still have had some sort of contact about once a week.I know, thats bad.. I do see a therapist which seems to help. For those of you who dont know my story. Me and this man had been 2gether off and on for 8 1/2 yrs. At first I was only seeing my therapist every 2 weeks but things were getting messed up in that week and progress seemed slow. So now we will meet once a week untell I feel stronger and can refrain from all contact. I cant help but think, If only there was a pill I could take to forget about his man. A pill that took away the pain from heart ache. Wouldnt that be awesome!!...Any thoughts on this? I don't know about pills that could help you forget, but have you considered weed ? From my first heartbreak over 14 years ago up to my most recent, Mary Jane was the only girl who never broke my heart and always soothed me when other girls did .
brneyedgrl Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Ugh... I'd love to have a pill that did just that, let us heal quicker and cope easier. My ex and I would have been together for 6 years this Valentine's Day. 6 Years off and on a couple times but this time was supposed to be it. Two straight years of being happy and thinking things were perfect this time then suddenly, right before Christmas, he doesn't know what he wants anymore and thinks it'd be better for the both of us if we went our separate ways. Unfortunately I think the only "pill" is time. That's co cliche but so true, especially with all the memories and traditions you guys probably shared and that are still running through your head. I'm in no way even beginning to heal as I still have to live with him for a couple more weeks and still cry every day, but I can't tell you how anxious I am for the day to wake up and actually feel good, and hopeful and happy that I don't have to deal with that "on and off" anymore :-) It will get better, or so I am told, until then we just have to stick together!
Racoon Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Ugh... I'd love to have a pill that did just that, let us heal quicker and cope easier. My ex and I would have been together for 6 years this Valentine's Day. 6 Years off and on a couple times but this time was supposed to be it. Two straight years of being happy and thinking things were perfect this time then suddenly, right before Christmas, he doesn't know what he wants anymore and thinks it'd be better for the both of us if we went our separate ways. Unfortunately I think the only "pill" is time. That's co cliche but so true, especially with all the memories and traditions you guys probably shared and that are still running through your head. I'm in no way even beginning to heal as I still have to live with him for a couple more weeks and still cry every day, but I can't tell you how anxious I am for the day to wake up and actually feel good, and hopeful and happy that I don't have to deal with that "on and off" anymore :-) It will get better, or so I am told, until then we just have to stick together! Wow, what a jerk, right before Christmas? That would be tough to have to live with him. I feel for you. You are right, the "PILL" is time. I have too much time on my hands and that is all I do is think about him and all the good memories and to the circle of questions as to "why". No closure sucks.
brneyedgrl Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Wow, what a jerk, right before Christmas? That would be tough to have to live with him. I feel for you. You are right, the "PILL" is time. I have too much time on my hands and that is all I do is think about him and all the good memories and to the circle of questions as to "why". No closure sucks. Racoon: Yep no closure definitely sucks, I still don't really have mine. I did write a letter though. I very long letter that includes everything I want to say to him and everything that is on my mind down to the last detail. Even if I decide not to give it to him before we say our final goodbyes, I at least got it all out on paper, it feels good actually, my own version of closure.
Author stopthemadness Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Am glad to hear am not the only one who was off and on back and forth for years. I think that we are now ready to stop that crazy ride. I know time will heal (so i hear) and a lil help from my therapist wont hurt either. But still, wouldnt a pill be nice? To wake one morning and say I dont want think of him anymore, take a pill and be good for 8 hrs or what ever. Wouldnt it be nice............
Duckduckgoose Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 One of my friends who had been divorced twice (I went to her for advice yesterday) and now she's has been married to the same man for 25 years told me that she was so down about the the end of the marriages that she had to be on anti-depressants. Its a pill that will make you happy. I worked with another lady who was also on anti-depressants during her divorce. She was such a sweet lady and her kid was the cutest I've ever seen. Her ex-H was a jerk, I met the guy a few times before and he wasn't so nice. Her bf was a really caring guy though. Don't drink, it will make it worse. I am going through divorce right now and I am tempted (very tempted) to hit the bottle, but only bad will come of it. Also, if you don't have a pet, consider getting one. I got a new cockatiel to keep myself and my other cockatiel company. They have been good stress relief. The new cockatiel even mimics me while I am on my cell phone. Its very cute If you already have a pet, try to teach them new tricks or take them to the dog park. You will get out of the house and meet new people, and distract yourself. Only time and NC will make the pain go away. While you are waiting on that, keep yourself busy. I'm not just writing this for ya'll, I am also writing it for myself. I have been struggling through the same thing since my stbxH left. Its been a rough road and I still cry every few days. Just yesterday I was really torn about even going out for a walk and reading a book... I just wanted to sit there and mope. But I forced myself to get out. It took me imagining a rope around my neck dragging me to my car to do it... it wasn't pretty
Author stopthemadness Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 thanks for the advice, it really helps. I will make myself go for walks and read and do puzzles. Its so good to know am not alone....And guess what? I got a new puppy for christmas. And yes she does help heal some of the loneliness and she gives me lots to do..Am doing ok on the N/C 2day is day 6 of no contact on either side. Which is good.I too have days where I want to sit and mope.So ill drag myself out too.. thanks again..
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