Stung Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 If someone claims to have a higher education and has a poorly written profile, I assume they are lying. At best, they don't care enough to put in the effort. It's usually an automatic skip. When I was online dating, I nexted a lot of badly written profiles, as I appreciate a man who can draw me in with witty banter and thoughtful dialogue. That being said, I write and edit professionally, and I have run across an extremely high number of highly educated people who write very poorly. I accept that there are different intelligences at play there. Works for me, as it helps keep me in business.
january2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I don't mind a typo here and there. I still wince if I spot a mistake and I have been known to skip a post if it's all written in leetspeak/textspeak/etc. However, I don't think it's something to get wound up about. We are all fallible and flawed - I don't like to regularly point fingers if I'm also guilty of making the occasional slip or two. On a dating site, if there were too many errors then I'd skip the profile and think nothing more about it, advanced degree or no.
dispatch3d Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Proper spelling, punctuation and grammar is expected in papers. If you don't follow those instructions, don't expect to get an A+. This reasoning/logic just doesn't make sense to me. If I potentially write a paper that is so insightful it could completely change the way a person (prehaps the teacher) thinks on a subject, yet has several mis-spelled words in it, then you feel this paper should never receive an A+? I guess I just don't "get it", whatever it is. It's the same with this thing of nexting guys because they don't spell well/use excellent grammar. If you were dating the perfect guy, then realized his grammar at times is subpar, you would stop dating him? It just seems like an arbritrary thing to next people on. I don't completely change my view on a person because they don't bother using apostrophes well in their writing.
Author tigressA Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Wow, I in no way said that if I started dating someone and I really liked them, then found their writing skills, etc to be subpar, that I would dump them. I'm talking about first impressions. When I come across a profile that is poorly written, I feel that they're incompatible with me. I have given passes on that a few times and lo and behold, the guys turned out to be highly incompatible with me. There was a lot of misunderstanding; I was accused of "thinking too much". We weren't on similar levels as far as being well-read and I always had to simplify the way I expressed myself verbally and in writing.
EasyHeart Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I suppose it's just like anything else: When we meet new people, we judge them by how they speak, how they dress, whether they make eye contact, whether they have good manners, etc. If you bother to write an OLD profile, people who view it have a right to assume it's your best work and evaluate you based upon your profile. Instead of taking it as a negative, people should look at it as an easy way to make a good first impression. "All I have to do is check my spelling and grammar? Hell, that's easy enough!" And I'm assuming that most of you in this thread aren't trying to start yet another gender war, right? Can we agree that there are plenty of women who also don't know how to spell or use good grammar? Because I've certainly met plenty of them. . . .
welikeincrowds Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I was accused of "thinking too much" :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: Wow yo :sick: :sick: that. **** that opinion, foreal.
dispatch3d Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Wow, I in no way said that if I started dating someone and I really liked them, then found their writing skills, etc to be subpar, that I would dump them. I'm talking about first impressions. When I come across a profile that is poorly written, I feel that they're incompatible with me. I have given passes on that a few times and lo and behold, the guys turned out to be highly incompatible with me. There was a lot of misunderstanding; I was accused of "thinking too much". We weren't on similar levels as far as being well-read and I always had to simplify the way I expressed myself verbally and in writing. I don't know, I'll just say I don't get it. You wouldn't dump a guy for having bad grammar, but you wouldn't meet up with a guy knowing he has bad grammar. How is this logical? And your evidence is - this one time I met a guy, he had bad grammar, and guess what, he couldn't read!...... So I guess your next boyfriend will be a result of the ideal first impression?
Dante311 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Now which is me? Yo baby, i'm like, a physiologist of some sort... i study the metabolism processes of stuff and like,yo... be with me baby 'cause you're flyyyyyyyyy like fire. I'm a recent graduate of a prestigious university earning a Doctorate of Philosophy in a science related field with a concentration in human physiology and energy metabolism. I enjoy the outdoors, but from time to time can find myself sprawled out on my sofa in front of my lit fireplace reading a good book or journal article. I enjoy meeting new people and new experiences; I'll give every new experience a try and if I like it I'll come back for seconds. I'm active and enjoy fitness/health/wellness and seek a woman who shares similar values.
deebeechrisyo Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 There's nothing charming about someone who communicates via net speak or obviously has no concept of correct grammar or sentence structure. On the flip side, there is nothing charming about someone who refuses to communicate down to someone else's level. If you don't need to use obscure, "big" vocabulary then don't
Sw3etdev1L Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 this post is so funny!... I am from mexico, don't even know how to speak well in english and u are asking too much of me. hehe. bs, relax. it's just internet, nobody is giving you a grade. reeee laaaaax it will make you not such a stiff person
BobSacamento Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I have a degree in history. I have a strong English & literature background, as I was raised with a love of reading and I took many English and lit-related electives in high school and college. My point with this thread is that many of the profiles I see look like they're written in a manner that would indicate the person in question really isn't as highly educated as they purport themselves to be. It's almost making a mockery of their education. It's my opinion that being able to express yourself in writing reasonably well should be a cornerstone of education because it's a necessary life skill. Someone being so dismissive of that is a turnoff. Edit: I don't deliberately seek out guys who purport to have a bachelor's or beyond. Whether or not someone has a degree isn't important to me at all. It's incredibly annoying when those who are educated beyond high school don't care or are unable to illustrate that in their writing--and in the worst cases, come off as though they didn't even finish high school. Are you using your degree at your current employment?
Author tigressA Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Are you using your degree at your current employment? You're trying to take this thread off-topic. This thread is not about career, employment, etc. This thread is about what I put in my original post, and nothing else. You want an answer to this question, ask me via PM.
Disillusioned Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Relax, I get the gist of the original post. I can't begin to count the number of educated dummies I've met during my life.
BobSacamento Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 You're trying to take this thread off-topic. This thread is not about career, employment, etc. This thread is about what I put in my original post, and nothing else. You want an answer to this question, ask me via PM. I am just trying to put things in perspective. I'm trying to figure out where your coming from. To say your assessment of these individuals is fair would be generous.
Author tigressA Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 I am just trying to put things in perspective. I'm trying to figure out where your coming from. To say your assessment of these individuals is fair would be generous. If I see an online profile that's poorly written, I view it negatively. I find it difficult to reconcile someone who's completed higher education with a poorly written profile and/or messages--a profile and messages that, aside from photos, are the only things available with which to make a judgment about their suitability for dating. Like EasyHeart said: "If you bother to write an OLD profile, people who view it have a right to assume it's your best work and evaluate you based upon your profile."
DuckFan Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If I see an online profile that's poorly written, I view it negatively. I agree with you for two reasons. First the individual in question either does not care enough to put in real effort into what their are writing and secondly I'm personally attracted to intelligence. Granted my second reason is irrelevant, but my first reason is completely true. If you are not going to expend the same amount of energy I have into portraying myself then I doubt we would mesh.
ivalm Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If you fail to present yourself well in writing. I see plenty of profiles on OKC from guys who mention they finished college and/or graduate school, and some are in a PhD. program. Yet they have little grasp on proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. This annoys me. The importance of writing skills, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, et al has been almost completely lost among my age group and it's only getting worse. It's such a huge turnoff to see private messages/IMs from guys who come off unintelligent and inarticulate in writing, and I find it even more deplorable if they've gone through higher education. Is it too much these days to want a guy who actually presents himself like he's been educated? Didn't read the thread but just want to point out that et al means "and others." It is referring usually to other people in a group (of authors, for example). It's funny when people have improper usage in a message on poor writing form . At any rate, I do agree that poor grammar/spelling/word choice are a turn off.
Author tigressA Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Didn't read the thread but just want to point out that et al means "and others." It is referring usually to other people in a group (of authors, for example). It's funny when people have improper usage in a message on poor writing form . At any rate, I do agree that poor grammar/spelling/word choice are a turn off. Oops. Hah, I've just been owned. Your intelligence is showing...:love:
BobSacamento Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 If I see an online profile that's poorly written, I view it negatively. I find it difficult to reconcile someone who's completed higher education with a poorly written profile and/or messages--a profile and messages that, aside from photos, are the only things available with which to make a judgment about their suitability for dating. Like EasyHeart said: "If you bother to write an OLD profile, people who view it have a right to assume it's your best work and evaluate you based upon your profile." It just seems petty to me. I guess we just have different standards. For example, I really find negativity unappealing. Basically I cringe when I read something like: "If you don't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE DON'T MESSAGE ME."
quietGuy13 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 wow you guys are mean. now i undertand why i never get responses in okcupid. Waht does it matter if we dont have perfect language? not all of us are reader, writers, and nor we plan to be. i can make songs with my mouth and i'm good at that. i'm pretty sure some wiht perfect grammar cant do that. each person has his talent. And i went to college. so what? college doesn't change you, i was a bad writer before, and am after. 4 years can't change you. you try your best but if you don't have it you don't. At work I write bills and letters to clients and they understand them, we get stuff done. so what does it matter if i'm not perfect.
Author tigressA Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 It just seems petty to me. I guess we just have different standards. For example, I really find negativity unappealing. Basically I cringe when I read something like: "If you don't know the difference between YOUR and YOU'RE DON'T MESSAGE ME." I cringe when I see that too. There's no need to include that in your profile. If you see a profile or a message that doesn't appeal to you, skip it, hide it, delete it, whatever applies. This is what I do.
ivalm Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 wow you guys are mean. now i undertand why i never get responses in okcupid. Waht does it matter if we dont have perfect language? not all of us are reader, writers, and nor we plan to be. i can make songs with my mouth and i'm good at that. i'm pretty sure some wiht perfect grammar cant do that. each person has his talent. And i went to college. so what? college doesn't change you, i was a bad writer before, and am after. 4 years can't change you. you try your best but if you don't have it you don't. At work I write bills and letters to clients and they understand them, we get stuff done. so what does it matter if i'm not perfect. I guess you won't be dating TigressA! Seriously, I once met a girl and we talked, had fun, but when I saw her facebook (written in netspeak) all chances for a relationship were gone
ivalm Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Oops. Hah, I've just been owned. Your intelligence is showing...:love: Clearly it's my fancy graduate school education
Confusedalways Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I also hate this. Especially bad is when the profile is fine, but the messages themselves are AWFUL. One guy had a really well written profile, but his messages were consistently filled with lower case I's, and TONS of "lol." The lol thing drove me absolutely nuts. I thought I was being petty and gave him a chance based on the content of his messages and profile- never again will I ignore the bad grammar/ netspeak in my gut. Nice guy but oh man....
Jane2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I find that I don't care that much about how well they write, as long as they *speak* reasonably well. Like, if I like the way he communicates verbally, I'm okay with him misspelling things. I just finished dating a guy who spelled "actually" "accualy" and "literally" "literaly"....and a bunch of other crap, too. And here's the thing, I'm an English teacher. I'm doing my Master's degree in English/Literature; I write and spell well. But I just don't care if the guy does these things poorly. In fact, I don't even want a literary guy, necessarily.
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