tigressA Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 If you fail to present yourself well in writing. I see plenty of profiles on OKC from guys who mention they finished college and/or graduate school, and some are in a PhD. program. Yet they have little grasp on proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. This annoys me. The importance of writing skills, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, et al has been almost completely lost among my age group and it's only getting worse. It's such a huge turnoff to see private messages/IMs from guys who come off unintelligent and inarticulate in writing, and I find it even more deplorable if they've gone through higher education. Is it too much these days to want a guy who actually presents himself like he's been educated?
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Peepel r 2 lazey 2 cares about rightin' gud on da internetz.
jerbear Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 This annoys me. The importance of writing skills, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, et al has been almost completely lost among my age group and it's only getting worse. It's such a huge turnoff to see private messages/IMs from guys who come off unintelligent and inarticulate in writing, and I find it even more deplorable if they've gone through higher education. Is it too much these days to want a guy who actually presents himself like he's been educated? I think their spell check and grammer feature was tired off. I have been known to have something similar lke right now my tablet correct things. Also when I was in grad school, grammar and writing unfortunately is not enforced by every school.
johan Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Or anywhere else. When I was in college, I was surprised to find out people were terrible at writing. It seemed like most of them were at a pre-high school level. They didn't know how to make a story/thesis flow, where to put paragraphs, how to punctuate a sentence, etc. Not to mention spelling and punctuation.
FreeheartLover Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 The internet is ruining the written English language.
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Or anywhere else. When I was in college, I was surprised to find out people were terrible at writing. It seemed like most of them were at a pre-high school level. They didn't know how to make a story/thesis flow, where to put paragraphs, how to punctuate a sentence, etc. Not to mention spelling and punctuation. I definitely agree with you here. Writing style is definitely not emphasized at many levels of education. You can just look at the methods of evaluation: objective tests where the extent of a student's writing is darkening small ovals; or subjective tests where evaluators merely search for key words and phrases in a sea of drivel with little to no consideration for logical and well thought-out arguments and explanations. Writing style aside, people are just too lazy to go back and reread their messages to check for errors.
Author tigressA Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 People are always saying, "Oh who cares, it's the internet, la-dee-da." But when your online dating profile and message(s) are your first impressions, it IS a big deal--to me, at least. Then again, another reason people are lazy with writing their profiles and messages is pictures--they think if they're hot enough then someone will send them a message regardless of whether or not they come off as Cletus the slack-jawed yokel in their profile essay. Johan, just saw your post, and I agree wholeheartedly. You brought up a very good point--when I see profiles and messages that are lazily/badly written, I wonder how they managed to finish college. I find that if they're lazy about it in one place, they're lazy about it pretty much everywhere else. There's also a commonality between poor writing skills and lack of appreciation for/love of reading.
Jazzari Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 If someone claims to have a higher education and has a poorly written profile, I assume they are lying. At best, they don't care enough to put in the effort. It's usually an automatic skip.
Cee Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I struggle with this issue a lot. I am a professional writer whose GRE Verbal score was off the chart. I can hear a word once 10 years ago and then just pull it out of my head and say it in a conversation. I can turn out a mean blog, but when it comes to "connecting" it's really difficult. There aren't any guides to doing IM and texting. I keep my texts simple and fast to keep the rapport going. And yes, I have embraced smilies, slang, and abbreviations. I don't saturate my texts with netspeak, but I have come to appreciate the changes in the English language. I strongly believe that writing has not degraded at all. Instead it has expanded to incorporate the demands needed for instant communication. I think writing is fascinating and I am glad it is plastic and malleable. I don't think it's necessary to pull out a "triple somersault with a twist" word when a simple "wtf" or will do.
Seamless74 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Seriously... and for the record i dont participate in online dating because it a passive method for meeting people and because it a sucker game for guys.. But back in the day when i did give it a try many of the more poorly written and lazy profiles were from the female gender...
colliejoanie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) [quote= I don't think it's necessary to pull out a "triple somersault with a twist" word when a simple "wtf" or will do. I like this..... I hold an English degree from years ago.....at first I was throwing my judgements on people's grammar and spelling around like candy......15 years later, I realize some people just have different priorities. And mine have definitely shifted. While someone who constantly uses the word "seen" instead of "saw" still drives me nuts, I've loosened up on them. Especially in online dating. I like to think these guys are just in a hurry, as I am many times these days. Edited January 16, 2011 by colliejoanie
Disillusioned Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Peepel r 2 lazey 2 cares about rightin' gud on da internetz. I ugry. I'tz kewl knot 2 b abel 2 reed and rite. I'tz evun kewlur 2 b a ejumacated dumbie! Stoopid iz sexxie!!! Seriously, though... either our colleges have allowed their literacy standards to sink to hopelessly low levels to give brain-damaged kids a shot at degrees, or it's proof that Homo estupidus is taking over the gene pool. I'd much rather hire an excellent reader and writer who's never spent a day in college than someone whose literacy skills are so bad that they might as well have found their degree in a box of cereal. Just wait until these feebs graduate and get their hearts broken when no one will hire them. Things even out.
dispatch3d Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 why do you dislike guys who have masters/phd's but don't bother to check grammar or spelling, but like guys who make sure their grammar and spellling is perfect yet don't have any degree? I realize you haven't specified the second type of guy, but you could be interested in that type of guy according to your current paradigm where you wouldn't be interested in the first type of guy whatsoever. I don't pay particularly close attention to "detail" type items. So I guess spelling/grammar on a dating profile would definitely fit into that mold. However, I care very much about big picture things. Like, is my career going where I want it to go, am I working on things that will be beneficial to me in the future, am I "wasting" my time on things that I should (ie. things that make me happy, spark my interest, further my career, etc.) or am I just floating around aimlessly. This post is even a reflection of that. I didn't even bother to make the second paragraph clean and organized sentences. I mean, most of my sentences are still fairly lengthy and well thought out, but I don't bother to edit for things like having two conjuctions in the same sentence when they shouldn't be there. Haha I think you are making me focus on this so I'm doing it even worse! ahhh!
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 If you fail to present yourself well in writing. I see plenty of profiles on OKC from guys who mention they finished college and/or graduate school, and some are in a PhD. program. Yet they have little grasp on proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. This annoys me. The importance of writing skills, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, et al has been almost completely lost among my age group and it's only getting worse. It's such a huge turnoff to see private messages/IMs from guys who come off unintelligent and inarticulate in writing, and I find it even more deplorable if they've gone through higher education. Is it too much these days to want a guy who actually presents himself like he's been educated? I'm with you. It's so rare to see well written profiles that I get excited when I see one. Almost as bad are profiles that have correct grammar but are completely bland and full of cliches.
Allisha Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Peepel r 2 lazey 2 cares about rightin' gud on da internetz. This. It's a strange one for me. I would relate the way I type in different situations to people having a "phone voice".. I type perfectly when it comes to university essays. Grammar, punctuation, you name it. It seems to be something I have to consciously "switch on" in my head. It's usually in the early hours (UK time) I post on LS, and so I'm just way more relaxed about the way I type. I totally get what Tigress is saying though. If I had an online dating profile and came across or got messages from guys typin lyk dis, I would be uber put off. My relaxed way of typing may not be perfect, but it doesn't go to extreme lazyness like some of these people..
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 People are always saying, "Oh who cares, it's the internet, la-dee-da." But when your online dating profile and message(s) are your first impressions, it IS a big deal--to me, at least. Then again, another reason people are lazy with writing their profiles and messages is pictures--they think if they're hot enough then someone will send them a message regardless of whether or not they come off as Cletus the slack-jawed yokel in their profile essay. Johan, just saw your post, and I agree wholeheartedly. You brought up a very good point--when I see profiles and messages that are lazily/badly written, I wonder how they managed to finish college. I find that if they're lazy about it in one place, they're lazy about it pretty much everywhere else. There's also a commonality between poor writing skills and lack of appreciation for/love of reading. And between writing and intelligence level. I guess there's the occasional idiot savant, but in general if somebody sounds like an idiot in writing they're probably an idiot overall.
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Why is this such a big deal? He's writing information on a profile on a dating website. He's not writing a paper for an English class nor is he writing a resume for a job interview. Dating is supposed to be fun. What's the point of dating if it's no different than doing homework for an English class? because women are attracted to intelligence, and smart people generally don't have to try to not sound like an idiot in writing.
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 If you fail to present yourself well in writing. I see plenty of profiles on OKC from guys who mention they finished college and/or graduate school, and some are in a PhD. program. Yet they have little grasp on proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. This annoys me. The importance of writing skills, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, et al has been almost completely lost among my age group and it's only getting worse. It's such a huge turnoff to see private messages/IMs from guys who come off unintelligent and inarticulate in writing, and I find it even more deplorable if they've gone through higher education. Is it too much these days to want a guy who actually presents himself like he's been educated? It's not the top of my list when I judge potential dates, but I do pay attention to it. I mean there are SO many other things about a person that are important. The last thing I'm going to do is rule some awesome lady out because she spelled something wrong. It's not like I don't make grammar mistakes myself from time to time. Saying and doing things like booting someone for grammar... that would just make me feel arrogant.
johan Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I've seen resumes that had grammar and spelling mistakes on them. They were applying to work on my team. These were apparently well-educated, experienced, professionals, applying for a job that requires excellent written communication skills above all. It makes a difference to me when someone has good writing style. I can tell they have the "if it's worth doing at all, it's worth doing right" mentality that I happen to value. That and it's a sign of an organized mind and a careful thinker.
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 This post is even a reflection of that. I didn't even bother to make the second paragraph clean and organized sentences. I mean, most of my sentences are still fairly lengthy and well thought out, but I don't bother to edit for things like having two conjuctions in the same sentence when they shouldn't be there. Haha I think you are making me focus on this so I'm doing it even worse! ahhh! I actually think in general you could benefit from a bit more focus on detail rather than spewing out whatever pops into your brain. I often have trouble following your posts and the logic behind your arguments.
johan Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 So maybe they don't want the pressure of having to perform good spelling, punctuation & grammar on a forum or dating site like they do in their professional lives. That could be. And ultimately you'd like to find someone who loves you even when you come across as a bit of a dummy. "He has trouble forming coherent thoughts, but that's part of what makes him so lovable."
TaraMaiden Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I would point out that having lived for a prolonged period of time in Italy, France and for a short time, in Norway, The United Kingdom is one European country I know of which does not teach the grammatical and etymological composition of its own mother tongue. Italy teaches Italian Grammar, verb conjugation and Italian composition, oral Italian and Italian Literature. France does the same. AFAIK, Norway does too (or did when I was there). The British curriculum did away with this branch of education in the seventies. In my opinion, things have deteriorated since then. There are very few people under the age of 40 who know what a Gerund, Past Participle, Present Indicative or Future Perfect actually are. Not a ruddy clue. 4Fortunately, having received a classic English education - AT HOME, from my parents, and not in school, which I attended all my young life. I didn't do English language in school, at all. It's entirely due to the education my parents gave me at home.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 And between writing and intelligence level. I guess there's the occasional idiot savant, but in general if somebody sounds like an idiot in writing they're probably an idiot overall. There are plenty of folks here who clearly lack good writing skills who are still pretty smart cookies, IMO. What it comes down to is the TYPE of intelligence one values.
Star Gazer Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 because women are attracted to intelligence, and smart people generally don't have to try to not sound like an idiot in writing. You can't say women as though ALL women are attracted to intelligence of the type YOU value.
hydorclops Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Writing well is more evidence of skill, taste, and style than intelligence. Education and even intelligence are not measures of character. I actually think that contempt for low intelligence is the result of poor critical thinking. Having high intelligence is like being good looking. It's not an achievement. It's an advantage. It's a gift. It's blind luck. Should good looking people have contempt for average or ugly people? Should they scorn, or mock them? The above is not directed at any one person, it's just an idea I have that this thread gave me an opportunity to write out.
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