Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 No this is not another thread about wanting to be a player because I would not trade my life for the world. That being said when I look at the men around I see the players having much less pain and much less drama in their lives. They all seem to live life to it's fullest and go for what they want. Women are just something to have fun with in between building their lives and I never hear about them crying because a woman dumped him or she left him for the OM or whatever. Commitment guys I know on the other hand just seem to live a life of being stepped on and treated a doormat. Women don't respect them and they are too distraught over heartbreak to ever just go out and enjoy life on their. Time and time again I see them bend over backwards for women who cheat on them for the players I first talked about. They might as well have a kick me sign on their back when it comes to relationships. I know these are two extremes and there are men including myself who manage to have a successful relationship without being a doormat but in general this is what I see when I look at the relationships around me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) you aren't around the players you know all the time. Just because its not visible on the outside doesn't mean that it exists. For all any of us know they are players because they had their heartbroken and it's still broken or that they are incapable of being unselfish and settling down with a great gal, or the third possibility is that they are happy with who they are. Obviously the same can be said for women that are players as well. A player with less drama? What is it you call it when they are caught in their lies and you have psycho girls coming after them or even worse one of those girls is married and her husband comes at him with a gun? I am a commitment guy and I am not a doormat. If you don't believe me you know who to ask. I see and know happy couples and I also see and know unhappy couples. In the end you choose to see what you want to see. Edited January 16, 2011 by Pyro Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 For all any of us know they are players because they had their heartbroken and it's still broken or that they are incapable of being unselfish and settling down with a great gal, or the third possibility is that they are happy with who they are. Obviously the same can be said for women that are players as well. I agree ! Players are often heartbroken people who have genuinely loved and have been broken many times, so they just want to have fun and not trust or give feelings anymore. It reminds me of "The Ugly Truth" movie with Gerard Butler. A player with less drama? What is it you call it when they are caught in their lies and you have psycho girls coming after them or even worse one of those girls is married and her husband comes at him with a gun? .Good point Many insecure, low self-esteem women may be attracted by jerks, but no decent woman would stay in a LTR with any of them. Bad boys are often sexually attractive but women know they are not LTR material. Most women marry guys that make them feel secure, protected and who they can control (IMO). Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Maybe they do. Sure seems that way anyway. Why sleep around other than to avoid getting emotionally involved and therefore hurt? Meanwhile they leave a trail of destruction behind them and a lot of women who would be wary to trust any man again because they've been lied to and led on by so-called players too many times. Let's hope they all end up old, bitter, lonely old bachelors when they lose their looks and charm. Nothing more off-putting than some old, sleazy guy who is still hitting on hot, young girls. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Women are just something to have fun with in between building their lives and I never hear about them crying because a woman dumped him or she left him for the OM or whatever. Or: Men are just something to have fun with in between building their lives and I never hear about them crying because a man dumped her or he left her for the OW or whatever. I think most people in their late teens and early twenties live this way without malice simply because they haven't tasted love yet. They hurt and are hurt and its all just growing pains and easier to get over. Then they get a taste of love and the pain that follows when it doesn't work out cuts much deeper. They become scared and revert back to what worked for them before experiencing love only their actions are no longer due to inexperience and become malicious ones. The life of a player begins. But they still know what love is. Its not that they no longer want love, its just that they fear the pain so much, they deny giving it to someone to avoid the pain that comes when it is misplaced or the relationship doesn't work out. But in their effort to not give it, they are also denying themselves the experience of receiving love. Something they very much enjoyed but now fear losing. Does that sound like happiness to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Maybe they do. Sure seems that way anyway. Why sleep around other than to avoid getting emotionally involved and therefore hurt? Meanwhile they leave a trail of destruction behind them and a lot of women who would be wary to trust any man again because they've been lied to and led on by so-called players too many times. Let's hope they all end up old, bitter, lonely old bachelors when they lose their looks and charm. Nothing more off-putting than some old, sleazy guy who is still hitting on hot, young girls. Do you say the same about women that leave a trail of angry and bitter misogynists? This goes both ways and every man I know that hates women has something in his past that mad him that way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 I don't know if they all are happy but I know that a close friend I have discussed on here is certainly happier than he was a couple years ago after he got cheated on for the third time. He came to the shore quite often last summer and we had a ball. He seems to have a passion for life that he never had before. As for psycho girls he thinks it is funny. He has played me a couple messages and he can't control the laughter. I want to advise him to stop living this way but I honestly can't think of a good reason why he should. Link to post Share on other sites
Knittress Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I've often wondered this too. I feel jealous of folks who don't seem to demonstrate a need for a deep romantic connection and live life as if it were a day at the fairgrounds. It seems better, but I can't do it. I feel better about myself if I imagine they're secretly depressed... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 I've often wondered this too. I feel jealous of folks who don't seem to demonstrate a need for a deep romantic connection and live life as if it were a day at the fairgrounds. It seems better, but I can't do it. I feel better about myself if I imagine they're secretly depressed... I like to see men happy so I am happy for them no matter what path they choose in life. I also think that going through a player stage helps a man if he does eventually settle down. It gives him the confidence to tell a woman to beat it if she mistreats him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 In order to be a player, you must be emotionally detached toward women in the first place. Players dont see the opposite sex as equal human beings. They are just things to be used. There is nothing personal in the relationships for them. This is how most of them feel. The sad thing is that so many women find it irresistible. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Players lead unhappy and unfulfilled lives. They are only able to view women as sex objects, and not as real living breathing beings that desire love and affection. I agree, it's sad that a lot of women gravitate towards this type of individual. However, not all women are that way. Some women are smarter than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 No this is not another thread about wanting to be a player because I would not trade my life for the world. That being said when I look at the men around I see the players having much less pain and much less drama in their lives. They all seem to live life to it's fullest and go for what they want. Women are just something to have fun with in between building their lives and I never hear about them crying because a woman dumped him or she left him for the OM or whatever. I've always been Captain Commitment... so I can't say for certain what it feels like to be a player. That said, the guys I know who ARE player types typically seem really happy overall. It's funny because the one who has a kid and pays a lot in child support never complains about it. He spends time with his kid when he can, and still sleeps with the mother even though she has a steady BF. I have often wondered if commitment is something we should avoid as men. I\ Link to post Share on other sites
shayan Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 it takes different strokes to move the world yes it does, I know some people who are playerish alot of people mistake me for a player because I date a lot of girls and have lots of friends who are girls. But I have to say I'm the furthest thing from a player there is on this planet. I am just looking for a serious relationship and I haven't been finding the right girls. I did meet a nice girl this week I hope it works out. But honestly even players who cheat still become attached and love I have a friend who has had so many girlfriends maybe 25 and we are only 22 years old. But he became attached to a couple of them and seriously had his heart broken. But I've seen him do a lot of damage as well. it's rare to run into people who aren't looking for a relationship, often it's because they've given up, and not because they don't want love in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Do you say the same about women that leave a trail of angry and bitter misogynists? This goes both ways and every man I know that hates women has something in his past that mad him that way. I do, it totally goes both ways. I like your Freudian slip "has something in his past that mad him that way" yes, the opposite sex can, for sure, drive you to the depths of insanity with their behaviour. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 Some of them may have less pain personally but they cause more. How can breaking numerous people's hearts be seen as the more desirable option? Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted January 16, 2011 Share Posted January 16, 2011 I think some guys are obviously players, it is the other ones that are more subtly sneaky that I hate. In my twenties I was totally gullable and innocent and at times really believed what guys told me, only to find out...oh, that was a lie just to get me into bed. That doesn't feel too good at all. It's downright mean in fact. I'm thinking of one particular guy. I genuinely thought he liked me, he said everything right, did everything right, pursued me and then after he finally got me into bed, I never heard from him again and worst of all, heard through a mutual friend that he was telling everyone that I was apparently 'gagging for it'. I felt so ashamed and stupid after that. I wasn't gagging for it. He led me to believe that he liked me as a person, mislead me in order to get some sex. I find that kind of behaviour totally reprehensible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 16, 2011 Author Share Posted January 16, 2011 Some of them may have less pain personally but they cause more. How can breaking numerous people's hearts be seen as the more desirable option? In a dog eat dog world maybe it is better to eat than be eaten. Link to post Share on other sites
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Do you say the same about women that leave a trail of angry and bitter misogynists? This goes both ways and every man I know that hates women has something in his past that mad him that way. There is no excuse for misogyny. Same as misandry. I believe that people that hate an entire gender for a few bad apples have a few loose screws themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 In a dog eat dog world maybe it is better to eat than be eaten. :laugh: Useless cliches are all you have? Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Due to their emotional detachment, players comes across as cool and mysterious. This makes people around them feel constant uncertainty because they dont know what goes on in their minds. Such uncertainty can be exciting for some women especially those who love drama. the majority of players out there are nothing more than big BS'ers who will say anything just to get a woman in bed......hardly cool and mysterious. Link to post Share on other sites
ozziegal8 Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 I think some guys are obviously players, it is the other ones that are more subtly sneaky that I hate. In my twenties I was totally gullable and innocent and at times really believed what guys told me, only to find out...oh, that was a lie just to get me into bed. That doesn't feel too good at all. It's downright mean in fact. I'm thinking of one particular guy. I genuinely thought he liked me, he said everything right, did everything right, pursued me and then after he finally got me into bed, I never heard from him again and worst of all, heard through a mutual friend that he was telling everyone that I was apparently 'gagging for it'. I felt so ashamed and stupid after that. I wasn't gagging for it. He led me to believe that he liked me as a person, mislead me in order to get some sex. I find that kind of behaviour totally reprehensible. i know i still have that happen to me now, its horrible to what extent some of them go Link to post Share on other sites
deebeechrisyo Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Most of the players I know, are very depressed people. I certainly don't measure up with their success in skirt chasing, but I'm also a pretty happy person with his **** together (for the most part) with a strong sense of character. I've been depressed before, and I don't wish for that again even if it means a new girl every week. It's funny, most guys who have real trouble with women are depressed because they haven't boffed 100+ girls. Most guys I know who have a high number are not proud of it at all, and really regret not finding a special girl they can settle down with. I'd put myself in the middle, which so far has equaled a very happy life. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Difficult to say. I agree many players secretly don't want their hearts broken, but as someone who's spent a lot of time round pleasure-centered types, I daresay many players are just big teenage thrill-seekers who never grew up. To them, the competition is more enjoyable than going home with the prize. And that's why they have no interest in commitment. Once the games are over, so is the winning streak. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 :laugh: Useless cliches are all you have? It's true. If everybody is playing and you are being sincere where does that leave you? Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted January 18, 2011 Share Posted January 18, 2011 IMO, the world is so full of heartless selfish b1tches that some men prefer to act like them. It is not necessarily stupid, when you get heartbroken and rejected many times, the only option you have is to make a 180° and treat all your dates as sluts....apparently it works for 4th planet (if he doesn't lie) Link to post Share on other sites
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