what is she doing?

[sothis]

i've been seeing a girl since just before thanksgiving. it took a few weeks for things to heat up and once they did we still took a few more weeks before we added sex to the mix. she been rather busy since we met so i've always been careful to give her the space she needs and never put any pressure on her to hang out. since we met she's been pretty consistent initiating contact with me on a regular basis. the time we do spend together is always a lot of good times, laughing and no awkward moments. the sex is very good and she even told me it's the first time she was with anyone that cared if she was getting what she needed from it. overall she's pretty affectionate towards me both in private and in public. i didn't hear it but last friday we were out with friends of mine and one of them told me they over heard her refer to me as her boyfriend. we spent that night and all of the next day/evening together and had a great time. since that time she has initiated almost no contact with me and the last of which being last monday afternoon. i did call her wednesday eve and we talked about 20mins and it seem to go just fine, i mentioned nothing about what was on my mind and she ended the convo with we'll talk soon, yeah?

 

the question is keeping mined she is busy and i know a few new things for her came up this week...what am i to make of her behavior and and how do i proceed? do i ask here what's going on, why the distance? chalk it up to she's just real busy, leave things alone and let her come to me?.....one side note i do have some tools at her place for a project i was helping with so whether she's busy or simply not interested i will have to see her again.

 

anyone's take on my situation is appreciated!

[fishtaco]

"Over hearing" from a friend she referred to you as her boyfriend doesn't mean anything. The source could be unreliable, she could be calling you her boyfriend for other purposes.

 

I think you should continue to giver her space but let her know you want to see her again. If she's going to come back to you, she will, if she's not, she won't.

 

If you really like her then you should initiate and exclusive talk with her and make it official, soon. But realize she always has the option to say no. So personally I would angle it so that her choices are exclusive or stay the same, as opposed an all-or-nothing bet. And for me, the "stay the same" option would also carry the meaning of none exclusivity. But it's up to you if you want to push for that or not.

 

I'm in a similar situation right now. Seeing a woman since October, things heated up in late November when the other women I was seeing dropped off, we became sexually active as well. I've decided to place the bet and be exclusive with her for the time being, just to see how things develop, against my own advice. But I didn't have the exclusive talk with her, so I have the option to go back to multi dating should I choose to.

 

One of the issues, she's too busy. If I can't get enough quality time with her, I simply will not move forward. I recently told her that. So we'll see if she gives me more time. So far, not yet. Once I get tired of waiting, I'll start multi dating again. But in the mean time, I may have missed some good opportunities. But that's the bet I'm making.

[Questionis]

It could be she didn't like your friends. Also why is it that she is the one always initiating contact?

You should call her and ask her and also, if you like someone you should try to make an effort for them. Do things to make them feel special. Do you feel good cos she is always trying to call you? I'm sure she would like the same feeling.

It could be that she thinks you are not that interested and she will always have to carry the relationship so she is cutting her losses.

[Nexus One]

It's possible that's she's just busy and that you're over-analyzing and thereby possibly are reading things into it that are not there. Sometimes things are simply exactly the way they seem.