Blue Gardenia Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I am new to this forum. i have posted yesterday and today. I lost someone I loved deeply. He loved me too, I have no doubt of that, but we broke up 6 months ago even though neither one of us wanted to. I called him again 3 months ago, and he had moved on and met someone else. He still thought about me and cared about me, though. Anyway, my birthday was last week. Do you think he thought about me on my birthday? I'm sorry to ask this question. But this was my first real true love, and I am finding it hard to accept that after just 2 months of our break up he was happily ensconced ina new relationship and did not want to try again with me. all you guys out there....even after a few months of NC, will you still remember your ex gf on her birthday?
PowerOfOne Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I did, but I was the dumpee. I haven't been a dumper since I was 17 so i don't really hold any other those relationship experiences true to adult relationships. I stewed over contacting her on her bday for a week leading up to it - but eventually didn't.
january2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I was with my LTR ex for over 10 years. His birthday was four months after our breakup. I sent him a card a few days earlier. But I was with someone else on his birthday and didn't think about him at all that day. That's probably not going to give you any comfort, unfortunately, because my experience was my experience. I couldn't possibly guess whether or not your ex thought about you or not on your birthday. In my opinion, small details like this aren't going to be helpful to your healing. As you mentioned, he's with someone else now and he's happy. Time to put the focus back on you and your healing and happiness.
0hpenelope Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Take note of when you start having thoughts like this and re-direct them accordingly. "It doesn't matter anymore, he's gone. He's still gone, he's still gone."
Author Blue Gardenia Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Somehow I need to know our relationship was "valid". That is, that if I did mean something to him once, then he will continue to think about me from time to time. I am having a hard time healing. I have convinced myself that once he met this girl and started dating her 2 months after we broke up, that was it, I was wiped out completely from his psyche. But, if we meant a lot to each other only a few months prior, how is it possible that he does not think about me from time to time? How is that possible?
ElixirXY Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 It really doesn't matter. He is with someone else now. The likelihood is he didn't. He may have remembered later in the day, or he may remember a few days after if you pop into his head. But most guys don't remember stuff like that unless they're with you. 3 months has passed and he hasn't really been in touch with you. Use this as a signal from yourself to yourself that you are seeking validation from someone who does not love you. Wanting to feel validated is human, but in an ideal world you would not even be wondering about this. I highly recommend Rori Raye's advice on her blog, Youtube Bob Proctor - find whatever it is that helps you to grow beyond this rather than looking back.
bestrong Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I don't think we will ever forget someone's birthday, but it doesn't mean that we will wake up on that day thinking about it. Don't spend time dwelling on this. Make yourself busy.
shayan Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 listen let go, and move on. They don't remember cause they've moved on and even if they do they've moved on. The train is gone it's time to cacth your own soul.
paleblue Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Blue, Yes, of course they do. but for whatever reason they dont want to be a part of our life anymore. its really hard to cope with sometimes. i dont understand it either, but i know if they dont contact you on your bday its a strong sign to just move on with your life as best you can and focus on yourself. hurtful, yes, but you are better off anyway. if he did, it does nothing but set you back. your relationship was valid while you were seeing each other. you both did mean something to each other, and prob still do on some level. everybody still thinks of everybody from time to time. i know i do. how can you not, ya know? if you continue to read other posts on here you will see the same theme repeated. go no contact. focus on you. and for good reason. as much as you want to keep thinking about things, it just holds you back. i know, easier said than done, especially when we feel like we've been left hanging. put it on a shelf for a bit and give yourself permission to take a break for awhile. then come back to it in a few months. see how far youve come along. you might be surprised : )
Questionis Posted January 18, 2011 Posted January 18, 2011 . Anyway, my birthday was last week. Do you think he thought about me on my birthday? Unless he has a sister growing up or some good female friends, the importance of birthdays may not have dawned on him. I wouldn't count on it...Sorry...But he probably does think about you, unless he didn't really care in the first place. In that case its good you broke up with him! Happy belated birthday by the way here's a jumpy,wiggly ear, purple bunny for you :bunny:as that's the closest to a gift I can find on here
Recommended Posts