ames Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I don't even know were to begin..i am so annoyed, upset and pi$$ed off... I met this guy about a month ago..i know we have only known each other for a short time, but we got along so well..we had so many similarities and we really enjoyed each others company. We met online (i know, i can't believe it either-something i have NEVER done) we hit it off from the start. Everything was going fantastic, till i found out that he had been on the same dating site that we had met on. I asked him why he went on it (even though we were and never have been official) and he told me that he didn't know..that he was sorry and that he wouldn't go back on it. Well, he did go back on it about a week later. I asked him why and he told me that it was "ego boost" and that he knew he shouldn't of gone on it..he told me that he hadn't messaged anyone and wasn't intending too-which still doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, but because we weren't official, there wasn't anything i could do... So, of course that made me feel insecure, especially after he had told me that he really liked me and that he had no intention of hooking up/meeting with anyone else. I had a go at him and he told me that this was the reason he wasn't ready for a relationship, he didn't want the stress of it, but he still liked me and wanted to see me but wanted to cool it down a tad...so, in the last few days he has been messaging and calling me, but not as much as he used too. I understand that he wanted a "break" (well, i don't really, seeing as the reason to me apparently "changing" was him going on the site) so i rang him lastnight and told him that maybe it was for the best if we just stopped seeing each other..he sounded upset but agreed..then i get this text from him this morning "i will miss your company. I'm not smiling right now. Know that your an awesome person and deserve happiness" I just want to scream!! WTF happened?! I am so annoyed..we were honestly getting along so well..everything seemed so good
Lemontang Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I'm a little lost on this one. So you were both on the same dating site and you called him out for logging in checking up on the site every so often. How did you know this? Does this site tell you when he logs on via email or something or are you also logging in still yourself to this site and see that he's been on? I think you know where I'm going with this. That aside you weren't exclusive. It's ok to bring it up sure but he shouldn't have to explain himself unless you guys are official, then it's not ok. I've multi dated before from a dating site and those I dated knew this too. It's only when I decided to become official with one that I then cut ties and pull the friend card with the rest (I'm more of a friends 1st person anyway before I go further). I'm guessing your new to online dating but some people don't invest all their eggs into one basket until they find one they truly feel compatible with before going the next step.
Author ames Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 i haven't been on it since i met him, but my friend is on it and i asked her to see if he had been online..i know..stalkerish..i wish i didn't find out..he has suspended his account because he said he didn't feel the need to go on it because he likes me..i have no idea whats going to happen..we like each other but don't think anything will happen how are you going? Thanks for your input
Lemontang Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Not really stalkerish, your just vetting. Friends of mine often tell each other if they see someone who one of them had dated back on again, so it's pretty normal. My online dating experience has usually been pretty good, as a result I'm in a solid relationship now so yeah of course no need for me to be online dating. If you guys really like each other but think nothings going to happen then really you could just forget it and move on or you could pull your thumb out and call him up on it "I like you, you like me so what gives?" and if he's not willing to move forward then I'd move on. No one wants a wishy washy kind of person who can't make their mind up.
Byren Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 The guy is clearly sorry, he suspended his account so that you could trust him? Sounds like he's serious about being with you to me. I'd give him one more shot, you've shown your boundaries through breaking up with him and he seems to be accepting them
Recommended Posts