paddington bear Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 This is great Ocean. This is what I would like (not the 85km distance though), but just the upfront 'I like you' thing and no guessing.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I will admit that my only concern really is his intelligence. He is not as intelligent as what I am used to and I definitely feel that I am smarter than him. He is an artist (a painter) so he is very creative and has a different type of intelligence to me. This may be a problem later on. WTF ? You just put a bullet in all of this... what the heck ? I'm guessing that all the other smart guys you dated because of their smarts worked out so well.. Is he so dumb that you can't hold a conversation with him ?
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I am happy for you, that things are so positive for you right now. Just stay calm about things, enjoy spending time with him. Not every guy has to be Einstein to keep your interest. I agree with your CE.. I'm happy for her as well too.. but she is already sabotaging things with the whole he isn't as smart as me stuff..
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Don't sabotage, don't get way ahead of yourself, PLEASE. You LIKE him. The feeling's mutual. Isn't that great? Try to hold onto that. I am not being a "negative nancy" but this is a fact - a real relationship will have its low points. Don't manufacture any during this "pink cloud" period. Matching IQ's aren't a requirement for a good relationship, IMO. Especially with your type of intelligence - math kind of stuff. Don't you get enough of that at your job? Really, it's not going to come into play much in a personal relationship between two people. Also, REMEMBER. When you're faced with a guy who is brilliant, you feel intimidated. You've said so more than once. Instead of judging his attributes, just learn whether you and he have similar appreciations, values, etc. Also, are there things you admire about him (besides his looks and the way he admires YOU)? Seems like you two can carry on plenty of conversation, since you've been able to spend large chunks of time together and still enjoy each other. So, he's not too dumb to enjoy talking with ... is he? People in a couple have to "fit." Sometimes two very high IQ's do not provide a good fit. Maybe you're smarter than him - and probably, he has more of some great quality than you do. The distance thing might even work in your favor. Please try to enjoy yourself, get to know him, don't sabotage, and bask in your good fortune.
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) Don't sabotage, don't get way ahead of yourself, PLEASE. You LIKE him. The feeling's mutual. Isn't that great? Try to hold onto that. I am not being a "negative nancy" but this is a fact - a real relationship will have its low points. Don't manufacture any during this "pink cloud" period. Matching IQ's aren't a requirement for a good relationship, IMO. Especially with your type of intelligence - math kind of stuff. Don't you get enough of that at your job? Really, it's not going to come into play much in a personal relationship between two people. Also, REMEMBER. When you're faced with a guy who is brilliant, you feel intimidated. You've said so more than once. Instead of judging his attributes, just learn whether you and he have similar appreciations, values, etc. Also, are there things you admire about him (besides his looks and the way he admires YOU)? Seems like you two can carry on plenty of conversation, since you've been able to spend large chunks of time together and still enjoy each other. So, he's not too dumb to enjoy talking with ... is he? People in a couple have to "fit." Sometimes two very high IQ's do not provide a good fit. Maybe you're smarter than him - and probably, he has more of some great quality than you do. The distance thing might even work in your favor. Please try to enjoy yourself, get to know him, don't sabotage, and bask in your good fortune. That mismatch can definitely detract from a relationship, if intellectual connection is something at least one partner values. I'm not saying this is the case, but I don't see anything wrong with her taking his intelligence into consideration. Doesn't necessarily mean she's trying to sabotage. Edited January 16, 2011 by northern_sky
sb129 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 The intelligence thing for me would be obvious enough after a first date- if I had spent three dates with someone and enjoyed myself, that would be enough to indicate we were on a reasonable level as far as intelligence goes. The distance thing is also potentially a good thing initially. H and I were long distance at the start and it forced us to take things slowly and at a healthy pace.
Nexus One Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Seems to me like he's serious. Unless he's a player or mentally instable he wouldn't be doing and saying the things he says without meaning them.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 if intellectual connection is something at least one partner values. Honestly NS.. she values a guys hot looks first though... I have yet to see on LS where she picked a guy from his intellectual background.. she has however dumped them because they were not smart enough but she went out with them because of their looks. I'm beginning to think that she uses the smart angle when a guy gets too close, maybe as a defense mechanism..
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