lovesparis Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 So I just posted on the fitness board about the "break up diet" (loss of appetite after breaking up) and that prompted me to post here. Since the break up (Sunday) I have had very little appetite... been forcing myself to eat something! but my appetite is slowly coming back and I attribute that to healing. Last time I had a bad break up (3 yrs ago or so) I lost 20lbs. It was MONTHS before I had an appetite again. Anyone else face the double edged sword of wanting to heal but not wanting to eat your way to happiness? (and yes I've been working out too. but I gave myself today off since I woke up painfully stiff)
vtbrokenhearted Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I am experiencing something very similar. It has been almost four months since my husband left. I lost twenty pounds in the first two months, and I really don't have that much extra weight to afford losing at all. I know it's horrible. I feel gross. What made me feel really gross was the fact that my clothes were falling off of me, so a couple weeks ago, I went out and bought some new pants. Now that my clothes "fit" again, I'm feeling much better about myself. I'm trying to eat too. I try to cook one or two big meals a week, so that I'll have leftovers to do something with throughout the rest of the week. If you've figured out any other ways to gain or get yourself to eat more, I'd love for you to share. I think the worst part about it is that everyone who has constant contact with you starts to notice. It's so drastic that it's hard not. One of my co-workers comments about it a lot lately, calling me a wire or a twig. It's starting to really bother me especially because now that I've begun eating more regularly, I'm still not gaining weight. How did you gain the weight back the first time it was a problem?
D78 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I've reached 2 months since the break up and I have yet to feel hungry. It's the strangest thing I've ever experienced. I'm usually pretty in tune with my body - feel hungry, eat food, exercise, etc. Usually, if I don't eat breakfast I feel sluggish all day. Now, I can be on the run all day long without any food, and I feel fine. I bought some soy milk and protein shake mix, but I have yet to open them. I try to eat a handful of pistachios or almonds at least once a day. I keep grapes and apples and try to eat some fruit each day. Other LSers have recommended drinking Ensure. I'm not worried about eating to get over my pain, so I don't see any reason why I have lost my appetite. I don't have any answers. The only progress I've made is going from eating once daily to twice daily, but my meals are 1/3 of what I would normally eat.
Ajax Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 The same thing happened to me. I'm not a big guy. About 5'9" and before the breakup I was around 155lbs. A month after the breakup I was 130lbs. Just had no appetite. I'd wake up in the morning and force myself to eat breakfast, which I'd end up throwing up half the time. I attributed part of it to the fact that my ex and I used to cook together, and after she left it brought up painful memories. Also I have anxiety issues, and when I go through periods of anxiety I lose all appetite. I know a couple people in the medical field who both explained to me that when people go through stress they either increase their eating habits or cease eating almost entirely. For those of us who stop eating it comes down to the body prepairing for "fight or flight." Our bodies divert energy from our digestive systems to use to get away or defend ourselves. Right now I'm back up to about 145lbs and it's been almost 5 months. Breakups are hard on the body as well as the heart.
D78 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 ... I know a couple people in the medical field who both explained to me that when people go through stress they either increase their eating habits or cease eating almost entirely. For those of us who stop eating it comes down to the body prepairing for "fight or flight." Our bodies divert energy from our digestive systems to use to get away or defend ourselves.... I guess this is why I have plenty of energy even though I'm not eating enough. Probably why I caught a cold, too. How long could this go on? It seems like after some time, our bodies will crash. So as we reduce our stress, our appetites should return?
Ajax Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 So as we reduce our stress, our appetites should return? I'm not a doctor but that makes sense to me.
Author lovesparis Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 @brokenhearted i was actually relieved to loose the weight back then and i am now too... but it's not the healthy way to loose weight. i've found that i start eating better/have an appetite again when i start to heal. which i guess is good... but i feel like i'm forcing myself to get past the break up b/c i feel so miserable instead of just wallowing for awhile and truly working through it. at least that's how i feel today. tomorrow will probably be different.
Stilicho Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 yea... the feeling is terrible. its been a little less than a month, and i still dont feel hungry most of the time, but i have made the best of the situation. i have been foricing myself to eat 5 small meals a day(protein shakes, nuts, fruit, oatmeal, etc) and have been forcing myself to go to the gym everyday. since the break up i have gone from 226 to 203 lbs, im 6'2, so its a good weight for me. im basically trying to use it to my advantage.....
0hpenelope Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I lose weight when I go through break-ups. My pants have been feeling a little loose lately, so I think it's because of that. Also, my mom said I lost weight from how my face looked. I just force myself to eat even though I don't have an appetite.
abust1 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Ditto on the weight loss here. Went from about 240 to 195 in a about 3 months. Losing the weight was good for me but I know it was hard on my body to lose that much, that fast. Having to make up reasons to coworkers as to why and how I lost the weight is the worst. "Uh, just ate less and worked out more" when the truth is "Uh, just went through the most painful emotional experience of my life and couldn't eat more than half a piece of toast and an apple every day for 2 weeks". At least I could get drunk easier and got a few beer calories. I started getting some calories from those weight loss shakes too, that helped. I'm doing much better now but still staying pretty constant on the weight, which isn't really a bad thing IMO even though others keep telling me how skinny I look. NC really is key, and that includes all things with this person for me. I had to throw away so many little things from our RL, avoid looking at pictures, no internet stalking, no asking anyone about her, etc etc. I have promised myself that 2011 is my year of COMPLETE NC, and I'm hoping by the end of the year I will have reached the point that I don't even want to. So has anyone actually started eating MORE after a breakup? I can't even imagine what that would feel like.
Author lovesparis Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 some people are comfort eaters. if i am having a crappy day in general (not brought on by grief (death or breakup)) i will be more likely to console myself with food. so i imagine somewhere out there, there are people who eat more when a breakup happens.
vtbrokenhearted Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Good advice about the protein shakes. I didn't even think about that although I do remember when a friend went through her divorce, she drank a lot of them. I'm wondering how good they are for you if you're not eating anything else. I've gotten to the point where I feel sick and light-headed. I know it's from not eating. I mentioned it to my doctor the last time I went, but I guess I should go back. 5'9, 130 and dropping- not feeling so good. The crappy thing is is that when I see my stbx I don't want to look like he's literally taking my life away, but from the emotional stress, that's what's happening. I cooked a chicken last night, but didn't eat very much. Off to make a chicken salad sandwich. Thanks for listening to what seems like such trivial stuff.
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