Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Question. Went on my mothers facebook account today and committed the sin of checking on the Ex I have written so much about. She went to the trouble to not only block me...but everyone else in my family who I asked to check says they too have been blocked... but not my mother. None of these other people ever sent her a peep. Doing that was a definite conscious decision...she's #1 or #2 on my list of family at all times. What the deuce does that mean?
FreeheartLover Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Well, I can tell you that when I dumped my cheating exbf, I blocked his mother and close friends so they couldn't keep tabs on me and tell him what I was up to.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 That I understand. But why not her too? I don't want to overanalyse it. My gut tells me that not blocking my mother...plus a number of other things* all add up to her wanting to keep communications open a smidge. Either for her to contact me via my mother at some point, or vice versa. Is my gut right? *creating a shadow account which is a friend of a friend with me. *Some email communication.
Hhhh Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 That I understand. But why not her too? I don't want to overanalyse it. My gut tells me that not blocking my mother...plus a number of other things* all add up to her wanting to keep communications open a smidge. Either for her to contact me via my mother at some point, or vice versa. Is my gut right? *creating a shadow account which is a friend of a friend with me. *Some email communication. maybe she just doesn't want to be disrespectful, maybe she does want to keep communication open. But really who the **** cares you are overanalyzing it even though you don't want to, until she opens communication there is nothing you could do. continue living your life and rebuild your confidence and ego and find your WIFE brother good luck
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I'm doing all of that...slowly but surely. There's just more to this story than I feel like retelling...so I'll just thankyou for your advice. It's pretty much what I think is going on.
RomoGuy Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My ex did the same thing, blocked me and everyone she knows through me, I guess they need space and time.. Im on my 2nd week of NC since the breakup which was her decision and I respected it.. If she ever realizes that she wont find what we had with anyone, I know she will be back. But theres not telling what my life has in store for me by that time. Its hard not to peek on another account, especially when the breakup doesnt make sense at all. Im guilty of it and I need to stop. I highly doubt facebook will give me that answers I need to know.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 My ex did the same thing, blocked me and everyone she knows through me, I guess they need space and time.. Im on my 2nd week of NC since the breakup which was her decision and I respected it.. If she ever realizes that she wont find what we had with anyone, I know she will be back. But theres not telling what my life has in store for me by that time. Its hard not to peek on another account, especially when the breakup doesnt make sense at all. Im guilty of it and I need to stop. I highly doubt facebook will give me that answers I need to know. I understand that much of her actions. My question is.... Why not my mother? Why not her? Why not my mother? The answer is what my gut said and Hhhh affirmed. She burned or barricaded quite a few bridges....but has left others open. Kind of like in war the retreating army does not blow up every single bridge if they can see wanting to advance again, at some point, and need to cross the river.
RomoGuy Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My opinion is your over analyzing. Maby she forgot, who knows... I don't see it as burning bridges, maby just space needed.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 everyone else in my family who I asked to check says they too have been blocked... This is where you made the mistake.. No reason to waste time having your family check to see if they are blocked from you ex.. The more you let this drive you nuts the more it will drive you nuts.. Maybe she talks to your mother..or maybe she just likes the things your mother says on her wall and wants to keep her as a friend.. or maybe......maybe......maybe.........
RomoGuy Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Im not saying anything about you... but my breakup made me go crazy in ways... start thinking crazy things, "well what about this", "what about that".... it wants to bring out the worst it me and make me paranoid.. I just have to control it, so that It doesn't control me. Because that is sooo not me.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 This is where you made the mistake.. No reason to waste time having your family check to see if they are blocked from you ex.. The more you let this drive you nuts the more it will drive you nuts.. Maybe she talks to your mother..or maybe she just likes the things your mother says on her wall and wants to keep her as a friend.. or maybe......maybe......maybe......... I feel where your coming from art critic. I was just curious when I asked my fam to check. (I actually only asked one relative I assume she would have blocked others too.) I understand what ya'll are saying. My real problem is being bored with writing so much and wanting to think about practically anything but what I should be.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Im not saying anything about you... but my breakup made me go crazy in ways... start thinking crazy things, "well what about this", "what about that".... it wants to bring out the worst it me and make me paranoid.. I just have to control it, so that It doesn't control me. Because that is sooo not me. I feel you. My situation is really really complex...if you look at my stats you'll find all I have written about it lately. Suffice it to say she's an EX now...will be an EX for a good while at least. With history as my guide that won't be permanent.
USMCHokie Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 What the deuce does that mean? That you are a sad sad man...
EricaH329 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My situation is really really complex... Yes, they always are. With history as my guide that won't be permanent. It has to end some time, right? It won't last forever. But you putting yourself through this constant over-analyzing frame of mind, definitely will do more harm than good.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 That you are a sad sad man... I know. I have the interest of a really wonderful new woman. I have another woman I met on a dating sight coming on strong. For some reason this woman has a hold on me that I cannot easily break. Sad and confused.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My real problem is being bored with writing so much and wanting to think about practically anything but what I should be. ahhh.. Well then.. Getting your concentration back can be hard...I always found cutting back on caffeine helped and getting a proper amount of sleep also helps with keeping my thoughts where they should be. Even in normal life we can have that problem.. there are times I can't concentrate at work because of something that might be happening at home and I normally have to work harder during those times to keep focused.. Do you have any hobbies ?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 It has to end some time, right? It won't last forever. But you putting yourself through this constant over-analyzing frame of mind, definitely will do more harm than good. Well it's ended before. We have been off and on with long long breaks... I'm talking two years or more in between. Breaks in which each of us have had other relationships. The ways in which we got back together each time were so improbable that I would not count us done yet. Which I am just content to conclude that she being equally aware of how things have gone, also does not see us as being totally done for life...just yet.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 ahhh.. Well then.. Getting your concentration back can be hard...I always found cutting back on caffeine helped and getting a proper amount of sleep also helps with keeping my thoughts where they should be. Even in normal life we can have that problem.. there are times I can't concentrate at work because of something that might be happening at home and I normally have to work harder during those times to keep focused.. Do you have any hobbies ? My only indoor hobbies are working out where I met the new woman I mentioned above, and gaming. All my other hobbies are outdoor, serious gardening, and flying model aircraft.... either of which is not fun in the wintertime. :-) I hate winter.
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My only indoor hobbies are working out where I met the new woman I mentioned above, and gaming. All my other hobbies are outdoor, serious gardening, and flying model aircraft.... either of which is not fun in the wintertime. :-) I hate winter. Working out is good.. this new girl.. are you planning on going out with her ?
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 (edited) Working out is good.. this new girl.. are you planning on going out with her ? Yeah things are kind of in a strange place with her right now. We met in a exercise class back in July... A class I stopped attending in November. After which we became FB friends. We FB flirted a little here and there. She's an opera singer. Beautiful, smart, well educated...fit to be a princess. She asked me to attend a dress rehearsal for her next production. Completely unsolicited....heck I even thought she had no interest and just sent a polite how ya doing kind of message and that invite is what I got back. Here's the part that's hard to read about the new woman. The show does not open for a couple of month's. Soooo she wants to keep me around that long? Soooo she does not want to see me any sooner? Sooo what the deuce? I just take life as it comes in general you know be flexible..just not short sighted. Edited January 16, 2011 by Mrlonelyone another detail
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 You should ask her to dinner.... seriously... The perfect distraction is getting your butt back out there and meeting/going out with people.. nobody says you have to marry her but you could have a few good meals and good conversation with her and go from there...
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 You should ask her to dinner.... seriously... The perfect distraction is getting your butt back out there and meeting/going out with people.. nobody says you have to marry her but you could have a few good meals and good conversation with her and go from there... I'm working up to it. One step at a time. I mean the nature of the exercise class we took...Pole dancing...as in stripping and lap dancing... could make it feel like we know eachother better than we really do. So I guess it's a good thing that we both stepped away from eachother for a bit. To be honest I also knew in my heart I needed to find that one EX find out what was up with her, and my possible son (who has grown to look way more like me than he used to) and give it one big cards on the table try. I needed to do that or I would never be able to seriously start up with this new woman. Isn't my life weird?
Art_Critic Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Isn't my life weird? We all have drama.. you should live my life Why not find out what her interest in you is ?.. start a FB convo with her and maybe you can see where she stands... if she is only looking for fans or an audience it would be better to find that out now.. and start talking to women.. even if just to say hi while out walking...
Author Mrlonelyone Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 start a FB convo with her and maybe you can see where she stands... if she is only looking for fans or an audience it would be better to find that out now I thought about that possibility but the fact is this opera company is no community theater. It's one of the big opera houses of Chicago... I don't want to give too much away. Their shows are almost always sold out and the tickets cost $$$$$$.
desertIslandCactus Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 That I understand. But why not her too? I don't want to overanalyse it. My gut tells me that not blocking my mother...plus a number of other things* all add up to her wanting to keep communications open a smidge. Either for her to contact me via my mother at some point, or vice versa. Is my gut right? *creating a shadow account which is a friend of a friend with me. *Some email communication. No, not necessarily right. Perhaps she has a soft spot for the innocence (or age) of your mother and didn't want to hurt her feelings.
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