northern_sky Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 (edited) Looking on my past relationships, I cannot tell if I was ever in love in any of them. Usually there was a point where I thought I was in love, but always a shadow of doubt. I cared about them, I wanted to be near them, I wanted to shower them in affection and make them happy, I thought about them constantly. Yet it never felt 100%. Edited January 15, 2011 by northern_sky
Kamille Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 What a tough question. The difference between my first relationships and my last few relationships is the following: our love was more than just a feeling. It was a commitment to each other and to the relationship. It was supported by everyday actions. I would even say that over the course of the relationship what I thought was love (the feeling) was likely infatuation and I knew I was in love when I could stop thinking about it all the time. When life became about supporting each other in our every day lives, and knowing we were there for each other no matter what. Love, for me, is extremely comforting. BF and I still share a lot of passion and romance, but our love feels fulfilling, not destabilizing.
EricaH329 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I've been asked this question a lot, and I have yet to find an answer I am content with I have cared about all of my ex's. And friends for that matter. I had love for all of them at one point. But there was only one true love i've ever had. A love that trumped all the rest. Ran much deeper. I'd say that it's unconditional in the sense that I will always love him, even though we are not together and are not in eachothers lives. I believe that when you are in love (or have loved a person) you just know. There isn't any doubt, and it most likely won't ever go away. It'll just remain dormant, until you remember them again. Sorry if this wasn't the answer you were looking for, love is a tough thing to describe
Woggle Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I have only been in love twice in my life and both times I just knew it. It was a feeling I had.
zengirl Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 If you think you're in love, you're in love. That's all love is: thoughts and feelings, a perception of feeling love = love. Whether it's healthy or not, of course, is still up for grabs.
trippi1432 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 (edited) I tend to agree, it's a feeling you have and it's a point when you know you are happy and even people can see that happiness in you or hear it in your voice. But what causes those feelings are when you can feel it in their actions, see it in how they treat you, and even when things aren't so good, you can still have that feeling for them. Edited January 15, 2011 by trippi1432 sp
welikeincrowds Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 The difference between my first relationships and my last few relationships is the following: our love was more than just a feeling. It was a commitment to each other and to the relationship. It was supported by everyday actions. Brilliant. Love of God, love of life, love of family, love of lover. Even in the most arcane definitions of love, love is a verb.
waynebrady Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Women are not capable of being in love with a man. Theres your answer.
Kamille Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Women are not capable of being in love with a man. Theres your answer. Darnit, opened this thread hoping waynebrady had found an original and creative way to link NS' question to his "women can't love" motto, as he sometimes does. This one was a disappointment, but maybe the next one will wow me with its nuanced intricacies.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Women are not capable of being in love with a man. Theres your answer. We're all Lesbians!
sugarmomma Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I have been blinded by lust a few times that I thought I was "in love". I think being in love is built on a strong foundation of passion, trust honesty, commitment and last but not least respect. So I guess I haven't. But I have loved so I guess that'll have to do.
january2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 If you think you're in love, you're in love. That's all love is: thoughts and feelings, a perception of feeling love = love. Whether it's healthy or not, of course, is still up for grabs. I agree with zengirl. I felt what I felt and I knew it was love. I've also been "in lust" and know the difference.
EricaH329 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 You become bitter. I'm not bitter, i'm actually looking forward to the next time i'll be in love I've learned a lot the last time, and can apply that to future men I may love. I believe it'll be a stronger, healthier, more mature experience the next go around :bunny:
waynebrady Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 We're all Lesbians! I believe that is true. Most women would rather be with another woman than with a man. Any woman who actually desires to be with a man is strange and out of the ordinary, it's not in your nature as a woman to want to be with a man. Just as it ain't in a cats nature to want to be with a spider.
zengirl Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I believe that is true. Most women would rather be with another woman than with a man. Any woman who actually desires to be with a man is strange and out of the ordinary, it's not in your nature as a woman to want to be with a man. Just as it ain't in a cats nature to want to be with a spider. As trolls go, at least I find you amusing sometimes, waynebrady. I suppose it isn't human nature to want to reproduce. It's a miracle there are over 6 billion of us then.
Kamille Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Just as it ain't in a cats nature to want to be with a spider. I take it you never had a cat. Man, do they love hanging out with spiders. They could play all day with a spider, if only the spider didn't have the nasty habit of dying once you paw it too often. The spiders on the other hand don't really seem to enjoy hanging out with cats. And then getting killed. And possibly eaten up. But whatever, Spider. Karma's a bitch.
january2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 You become bitter. Like, Erica, I'm not bitter either. I should be, but I get pulled in again nearly every single time.
waynebrady Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I'm not bitter, i'm actually looking forward to the next time i'll be in love I've learned a lot the last time, and can apply that to future men I may love. I believe it'll be a stronger, healthier, more mature experience the next go around :bunny: Most women do not even want to be in love with a man even if they could. The fact is that most women who are married do not love their husbands and couldn't care less if the husband died. While The man would be heartbroken and devastated if their wife/girlfriend died... Women do not want to show any love or affection for their husband/boyfriend... Hence why I say women are not capable of being in love, maybe you can but you certenley don't want to show it to your man.
waynebrady Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 As trolls go, at least I find you amusing sometimes, waynebrady. I suppose it isn't human nature to want to reproduce. It's a miracle there are over 6 billion of us then. It's in the mans nature to want to reproduce, not in the womans. The only reason there are over 6 billion of us is that men keep pushing women to have sex and reproduce, this is in effect rape since if it was up to women there wouldn't be any sex what so ever and therefore no reproducing either.
january2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 women are not capable of being in love, maybe you can but you certenley don't want to show it to your man. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but I gather that is likely to get me sectioned and there'll be pointy fingers and whispers about the "crazy lady."
EricaH329 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Then it wasn't love! I don't believe love is an excuse for someones bitterness. People need to take ownership of their own mental insecurities/ instabilities. I have been upset/hurt/angry/sad/etc. because of love, but never bitter. On the contrary, I don't believe true love leaves anyone bitter. I don't believe it has that capability.
EricaH329 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Most women do not even want to be in love with a man even if they could. The fact is that most women who are married do not love their husbands and couldn't care less if the husband died. While The man would be heartbroken and devastated if their wife/girlfriend died... Women do not want to show any love or affection for their husband/boyfriend... Hence why I say women are not capable of being in love, maybe you can but you certenley don't want to show it to your man. Yes, and all horses have wings and unicorns prance around underneath rainbows filled with gold. We get it already.
Pyro Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 when I grow up I want to be just like WayneBrady. he has so much experience in these matters and is so wise.
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