MandyHolt Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I've been dating a great guy who is 16 years older than me and divorced (I'm 20, he's 36.) It took me a while to get comfortable with the idea of the age difference and his divorce, as I've never had a boyfriend and am still a virgin. But we've been dating just over a month now and I am already really starting to fall hard for him. A few days ago I spent the night at his place for the first time, and we had oral sex. The next evening we got together again, and (perhaps naively) I decided to ask him if he felt that what we were doing might be headed towards a relationship. He got a little bit awkward at that point, and admitted that he occasionally dates other people. I guess I must have seemed hurt (naive) so he quickly added that he would stop dating others if I wanted. He also said a relationship is perhaps where we seemed to be headed, but he hadn't been intending to have the conversation any time too soon. I spent the night with him again after that (oral sex again, nothing further.) Now I'm not sure what to do. I really am dying to rip this dude's clothes off and go all the way with him, but I think I want to be in a relationship before that happens. On the other hand, I don't want to bring up the relationship conversation again when it seemed to make him uncomfortable. If he's told me he's willing to be exclusive, isn't that basically the same thing? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated, since (as I mentioned before) I am very inexperienced and pretty much have no idea what I'm doing. Thanks!
hydorclops Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 You are in a relationship with him now. But it may not have the qualities and boundaries that you want. Having a relationship that is exclusive means what you two decide it means. It might mean that you are dating and having sex with each other, but no one else. Figuring out what the future holds is another question to ask and define. He may see it as exclusive for now, but a short fling. You may be good with that but you may want something else. The two of you having the same ideas about all this is best. Just my $.02. Good luck.
sugarmomma Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 he's not interested in something serious and committed. don't waste losing your virginity on him unless you just want a good time. He already told you upfront that he would prefer to date others. But YOU got upset so he told you what you wanted to hear. If it doesn't work out inthe end you cannot blame him. He's telling you how he operates.
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