xpaperxcutx Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 to like someone who is superficial or someone whose thoughts and ideals differ from your own? * This past week I went on a date with a guy who made an extremely bad impression on me. In the beginning, I thought I would give him a chance since he was extremely eager to date me and it had been such a long time since I dated someone that I was willing to forego certain warning signs to give this guy the chance he deserves. We met up at Chelsea Market in the city, and grabbing tea and dessert, we sat down for a two hour talk that really went from getting to know each other better to intense bickering and extreme dislike on my part. The first things we talked about- my interest in girls. As most LShackers may or may not know, I am bisexual. I have made my point clear on day 1 since he has met me, that I have attractions towards both men and women. However, I also have voiced my opinion that I am a very loyal person, and as such, do not cheat when I am in a relationship. At the moment, I am in an open relationship with another girl, and thus, I do have permission to date a guy. Unfortunately, Guy A thinks that my relationship with my Girl B is merely a sexual tryst that revolves around only sex. I have explained time and time again, that while I am " sexual" with girl A, I see my open relationship as more emotional than physical. We are of the brood that even if we are not physically together, we are very emotionally connected as friends. Which then led to our discussion about sexual safety. We both agreed on the fact that it's important to practice safe sex. He broached the subject about the possibility of contracting oral herpes, to which I firmly agreed ( due to past threads that have discussed this topic on LS) and then have made a comment on that it is very common. However, he decided to jump ship and delve into asking me about the " safety-ness" of lesbian sex. I told him that while female- female sex typically does not use condoms, I do know it's possible to contract oral herpes down there. I also made a comment that in order to be safe we may as well abstain from sex, if we're all scared of contracting anything, to which he then commented that I should just refrain from having sex with everyone else and just to have sex with him. Another topic we bickered about- his relentless comments and opinions about pretty girls with ugly guys. This became the turning point of the whole night which really caused my interests in him to wane. Guy A decided to make a silly comment about how he found it extremely unbelievable that pretty girls would go for ugly guys. It it his strong belief that there has to be motives for pretty women to like ugly guys- either the girls have low self esteem, or the men have fat wallets. Then he made the worst analogy I have ever heard- " it's like salt and ice cream, you don't mix the two, or eat them together". Unfortunately, it did not end there. At the end of the night, while we were taking the train home, he smilingly blurted out that there wasn't going to be a third date. I was slightly taken aback by his bluntness but I politely commented " Okay" as a response. Apparently it did not sit with him because he then decided to become confrontational about why I decided to go out with him that night. Why ask the question if you don't like the answer. My assumption was that he was trying to get a rise out of me, but given the circumstances ( especially on a train with dozens of people around us), I wasn't prepared to give a good reasonable response. We left on awkward terms, and I went home exhausted and beat. I really tried liking this guy, but unfortunately I find my entire night more draining than entertaining. * this is also a post/ update for January2011
Star Gazer Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Why were you even trying to like him? I don't get that?
january2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Xpaperxcutx, this is the 'hot and cold' guy? In my opinion, he behaved poorly - even his issues have issues. It seems he bent your ear all night and it's no wonder you went home exhausted. I think it's safe to say that you dodged a bullet.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 Why were you even trying to like him? I don't get that? Because I tried to go for the three strikes and you're out rule. We did have a somewhat good first date, a little misunderstanding in trying to make the second one, and then we did do the second one, I find my attraction towards him really, really went downhill from there.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 Xpaperxcutx, this is the 'hot and cold' guy? In my opinion, he behaved poorly - even his issues have issues. It seems he bent your ear all night and it's no wonder you went home exhausted. I think it's safe to say that you dodged a bullet. " hot and cold " Guy, " Superficial" Guy, etc he'd openingly admits he's very focused on looks. He'd made me feel like I wouldn't even be worth talking to if he hadn't found me attractive to begin with.
january2011 Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 " hot and cold " Guy, " Superficial" Guy, etc he'd openingly admits he's very focused on looks. He'd made me feel like I wouldn't even be worth talking to if he hadn't found me attractive to begin with. Xpaperxcutx, someone like that would eventually erode away your self-esteem. You dodged a bullet, as I mentioned above.
northern_sky Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 is this the russian stripper or a different guy?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 It’s funny he said salt and ice cream don’t mix considering it’s a necessary ingredient to keep it from freezing hard. This guy was very disrespectful. I would never force myself to like anything short of the respect I deserve. Oops, I made a typo, he didn't write salt and ice cream, actually he wrote " fish and ice cream". What he had actually said was " It's like fish and ice cream, you can't eat those two together". When I heard what he said, I think my stomach flipped over, in a bad way. He told me he couldn't comprehend a beautiful person with an ugly person. I tried arguing the point that it does happen, but in his little " world" he thinks beautiful people should be with beautiful people and ugly people with ugly people. I was horrified to be honest.
Knittress Posted January 15, 2011 Posted January 15, 2011 I wouldn't have been able to tolerate 30 seconds with that guy, much less several dates. In fact, I probably would've picked up on something I didn't like when he came over to me and pretended to be oblivious. My compatibility-detection system is THAT good, proof is how long I've been single! ::eyeroll:: Yes, in the past I've dated people that weren't up to specs in either intelligence or warmth, just because I felt it was my duty to be uncritical or something. It's horribly aggravating and draining as you're continually adapting yourself to THEM, as if the problem is all on your side. And it's... horribly disrespectful to yourself, really. You bring up the bisexual thing so early? Aren't you afraid it's going to ignite the wrong sort of interest in the wrong sort of guy?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted January 15, 2011 Author Posted January 15, 2011 I wouldn't have been able to tolerate 30 seconds with that guy, much less several dates. In fact, I probably would've picked up on something I didn't like when he came over to me and pretended to be oblivious. My compatibility-detection system is THAT good, proof is how long I've been single! ::eyeroll:: Yes, in the past I've dated people that weren't up to specs in either intelligence or warmth, just because I felt it was my duty to be uncritical or something. It's horribly aggravating and draining as you're continually adapting yourself to THEM, as if the problem is all on your side. And it's... horribly disrespectful to yourself, really. You bring up the bisexual thing so early? Aren't you afraid it's going to ignite the wrong sort of interest in the wrong sort of guy? He met me when I was with my girlfriend, so technically there wasn't anything to hide in the beginning. I am very honest about my orientation, guys are either turned on/off or accepting of it. I also have a radar against guy with the wrong sort of interest. For this guy he just doesn't believe that I can get off from having sex with a girl. I'm actually glad you bought up the intelligence thing. This last date, while we were at the Chelsea Market, we checked out a book store nearby. I'm one of those bookworms who will browse every aisle and shelf and not buy single book ( I mentally check off new books in hope to find them at my local library). The first thing this guy blurted out was " I don't like to read". That's a not a very good impression. Even if you do not like to read, you don't say something like that out loud and expect me to not internally recoil by the whole denseness of the sentence. To further prove his point, he added, " I don't really like books". This is the same guy whom I've told previously I am majoring in English. I love to read, write, the whole 9 yards. Even if you're completely against a hardcover copy of a new Stephen King book, please do not blurt out senseless things in front of me.
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