carhill Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 no, no! that's not what i meant. I very much do believe your efforts to be helpful are genuine, and I appreciate them. This is a separate issue. I get the sense you are unhappy, and it concerns me. I appreciate your concern. In the last year, I gave up the love of my life, divorced, and my mother died. It hasn't been an especially heartwarming twelve months. I'm glad that reality comes through in some of my postings. I don't think such realities can preclude having genuine care and concern for others. I think it is a time to reflect, generally alone, on life and one's path. Perhaps I will again meet someone who inspires poetry, song and wildflower fields. Perhaps not. At some point in life, one reaches a stage of being content with what is, whether that be the amazing joy and exhilaration of romance or the abject sadness and despair of death and loss. I'm at that point. I feel the happiness and the tears and accept them. On-topic, I looked at Wikipedia and found this: In relationships During the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy. Within an established relationship, romantic love can be defined as a freeing or optimizing of intimacy in a particularly luxurious manner (or the opposite as in the "natural"), or perhaps in greater spirituality, irony, or peril to the relationship. ------------ Interestingly, and heretofore unrecognized as such, romance, by this definition, has been the style of interaction with women I've adhered to, with overwhelming and sometimes disastrous failure. Yet, even today, even this minute, it is the fundamental method by which I approach relationships, and probably always will. Is that, in light of reality of life experience, being a 'hopeless romantic'? Perhaps. Does such realization lead to a feeling of jadedness? Perhaps. Such are the journeys of life.
january2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Carhill, if you need to take a break from LS to regroup, perhaps it will be good for you. I haven't been on here long so I don't presume that my opinion will hold much weight with you, but it would be great if you would come back. I think that we need your input and guidance. It might seem like you're pushing a cart with square wheels up a mountain, but those sitting in the cart really do appreciate your efforts. Ach, crossposted - glad to see that you haven't left.
northern_sky Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I appreciate your concern. In the last year, I gave up the love of my life, divorced, and my mother died. It hasn't been an especially heartwarming twelve months. I'm glad that reality comes through in some of my postings. I don't think such realities can preclude having genuine care and concern for others. I think it is a time to reflect, generally alone, on life and one's path. Perhaps I will again meet someone who inspires poetry, song and wildflower fields. Perhaps not. At some point in life, one reaches a stage of being content with what is, whether that be the amazing joy and exhilaration of romance or the abject sadness and despair of death and loss. I'm at that point. I feel the happiness and the tears and accept them. On-topic, I looked at Wikipedia and found this: In relationships During the initial stages of a romantic relationship, there is more often more emphasis on emotions—especially those of love, intimacy, compassion, appreciation, and affinity—rather than physical intimacy. Within an established relationship, romantic love can be defined as a freeing or optimizing of intimacy in a particularly luxurious manner (or the opposite as in the "natural"), or perhaps in greater spirituality, irony, or peril to the relationship. ------------ Interestingly, and heretofore unrecognized as such, romance, by this definition, has been the style of interaction with women I've adhered to, with overwhelming and sometimes disastrous failure. Yet, even today, even this minute, it is the fundamental method by which I approach relationships, and probably always will. Is that, in light of reality of life experience, being a 'hopeless romantic'? Perhaps. Does such realization lead to a feeling of jadedness? Perhaps. Such are the journeys of life. Sounds like it's been a brutal year for you. I'm truly sorry. Still, I don't think you should give up hope on finding another woman who will be receptive to your romantic gestures. I guess that's what I was referring to. You seem resigned to a perspective you're not entirely happy with. I really believe you can and will find that love, if you don't give up. Please don't let your cold ex poison how you view love and life. There are many women out there who would be thrilled to have someone as sweet and thoughtful as you are. Don't kill what makes you human.
Titania22 Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 At some point in life, one reaches a stage of being content with what is, whether that be the amazing joy and exhilaration of romance or the abject sadness and despair of death and loss. I'm at that point. I feel the happiness and the tears and accept them. Carhill I totally understand where you're coming from with this. The point of acceptance can be very freeing.
lino Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 From my personal experience, the majority of young (under 30) women are unable to appreciate romance from men... They simply take it for granted and are happy to throw it all back in your face when they find someone they perceive to be better. For them, romance often means simply shelling out plenty of coin anyway. Obviously, on a site like LS, for a man to speak of his pain is not popular and not often welcome. That's OK. The men out there who don't post but do read appreciate such perspectives on romance and relationship dynamics. It's for them I write, not for you. That's the god-honest truth. So true. I've always appreciated what you write and I agree with a lot of it.
Recommended Posts