hopeful85 Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Hi everyone, New to this site... Was hoping to get some insight into my ex's mind. We have been broke up for about 5 months, together for 2 years. He broke up with me (I didn't see it coming). We have talked/seen each other on and off. Finally after Thanksgiving I decided to stop contacting him in hopes he would change his mind on his own. Christmas he sent me a Merry Xmas text. I text back and we made small talk about the holidays. Last week we met up for dinner (after I asked him). He offered to pick me up and had a nice dinner. A few days later I asked if he had time to meet up again. He declined saying he couldnt but maybe another time. Since then we have had no contact. What I don't understand is why would he agree to meet up with me, have dinner, and then stop talking to me? What was the point in seeing me? I had already told him I could not be friends with him unless we were going to get back together.. Should I wait for him to contact me or just give up already?
Fern Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 Give up. You asked HIM out for dinner. Did you reiterate that it was in hopes of rekindling your romance? If not, then you're to blame for setting yourself back here - not him. Granted, he shouldn't have toyed with you but he's likely conflicted too. Conflicted doesn't mean ready to commit to you again - just that he still has feelings for you. After 5 years, that's not unusual. He'd have to be a sociopath if he wasn't at least slightly conflicted.
Author hopeful85 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 If he is conflicted with his feelings for me, should I just wait it out in hopes he'll come back around? I felt like him being up to meeting with me for dinner had to mean something... but maybe thats just wishful thinking.
500daysofsummer Posted January 14, 2011 Posted January 14, 2011 it sounds like he thought it was a "just friends" kind of thing. this is coming from a guy that is in a similar situation as your ex-bf. i regretfully met up with my ex after our breakup thinking it was a "just friends, let's catchup" kind of meetup when i found out that she still has feelings for me. although i was completely over her. i say that you strongly consider going full-on NC with him.
Author hopeful85 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Posted January 14, 2011 I have tried to go full NC with him, but after 3 weeks he will end up sending me a text to see how I am or to wish me happy holidays. I guess what is most hurtful/confusing for me is that I have on multiple occasions told him there is no way I can be friends with him bc I have strong feelings for him still. He has always agreed and in late November told me that we could not be friends for a very long time bc it hurt me too much. I guess I really just need to stop responding to any texts. Everyone tells me now that he is just checking to make sure I'm still there for him.
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